The rottweiller and LDL - theft on a grand scale......

HENSHAW'S rottweiller Dr David McElhinney has been accused of ripping off the people of Liverpool - by a local government watchdog.

McElhinney's Liverpool Direct Limited is now revealed as charging the city council an extra £15million a year - but no-one knows what for!

"It is not clear what these charges are for," says the local government improvement agency, the IDeA in stark and unequivocal terms.

The report reveals that McElhinney's LDL partner, British Telecom has pocketed a staggering £57million in management fees from LDL in the last two years alone.

While McElhinney's LDL empire has alone trousered an astonishing £123million from the city council for 'operating costs' in the same two years.

(Not all of this has been spent on a private shower for McElhinney, of course, eds)


“The basis of billing is opaque and management information does not include any cost information. The lack of transparency on billing and the value for money in the core contract have raised doubts about the value for money overall, ” says the IDeA, with breathtaking understatement.

It adds: "The spirit of the partnership is not working to the advantage of Liverpool City Council”.

You can say that again.

Full marks to the Liverpool Daily Post for lifting the lid on the LDL scandal by publishing details of the leaked IDeA report.

The IDeA have been brought in to run the rule over the worst council in the country - and come up with solutions for improvement.

They have now demanded an urgent review of the LDL operation.

McElhinney's transfer from the city council to become chief executive of LDL - secretly mastermined by Henshaw before he was forced to quit - is also questioned by the IDeA.

“The arrangement for seconding a Liverpool director to run this contract further blurs lines and loyalties - and should be addressed.”

The rottweiller's reaction to this devastating indictment of his personal empire was typical - he lied.

He immediately tried to publicly deny that the IDeA had called for an urgent review of the LDL contract with the city council.

Then he tried to bully council staff into issuing a statement refuting the independent and impartial findings of the IDeA.

This time, however, the rottweiller could find no allies who were prepared to cover-up and justify the systemic corruption at the heart of LDL.

What is utterly remarkable about this grand scale rip-off and larceny, of course, is that it comes 18 months after Colin 'Cover Up' Hilton promised to sort out the LDL joint venture with BT, after admitting that it had cost the city council millions of pounds.

A secret report by KPMG - which Hilton steadfastly refused to make public - had made 37 separate recommendations to tighten up the deal with LDL.

Hilton, who is being paid £250,000 a year as chief executive of the worst council in the country(plus Performance Related Pay at 15 per cent every year), promised to implement all the recommendations in full by March of this year.

Hilton, who is on the LDL board, has clearly failed to do so - at least according to the IDeA report.

The other Lib Dim member of the board, Councillor Peter Millea, also appears to have been completely incapable of getting a grip on things in the interests of council taxpayers.

Any suggestion that McElhinney, a Liverpool FC season ticket holder, has exerted any improper influence on Millea, also a Liverpool FC season ticket holder, is completely without foundation.

It would be unthinkable that McElhinney could have 'bought off' Millea with any favours or inducements.

But the explanation for Millea's apparent silence is still a complete and baffling mystery. What has he been doing to safeguard the interests of the people of Liverpool?

Meanwhile it is worth reminding ourselves of Henshaw's role in this daylight robbery of council taxpayers's money.

You will remember that he was the architect of the LDL joint venture with BT and that he brought McElhinney with him from Knowsley to force it through in Liverpool.

This is what Henshaw, now in charge of the North West's National Health Service, had to say about LDL and the joint venture with BT:

"Liverpool was in a fairly desperate state of circumstances in ’99. We had the third from worst record in terms of quality of service and delivery, and we charged the highest council tax in the country.
And here we had to really look at the future and transform ourselves radically into a whole new wayof delivering public service.
A number of local authorities are making use of BT’s ability
in business transformation. What we are using, are technology platforms as a core part of that transformation agenda. And so with BT you are getting that expertise and depth on telecoms’ game, but also a huge growing support in terms of what you need to do in business transformation. For me they have been a massive addition to our
weaponry here in the recovery of Liverpool and the transformation of the city council. I think it’s a pretty compelling offer.
HR was in a muddle like the rest of the business, and what we needed
to do was do that full scale transformation, moving it from a very high cost intensive transactional business with HR people around the organisation in separate pockets, into a basically web enabled system self serve intranet based operation, and BT were hugely supportive of using the platforms that we were building with them, as well as offering expertise and help in just moving the business away from the old model tothe new construct. They’ve gone through a lot this themselves they are still in journey and transformation so we did a lot of listening to them about the problems they’d faced.
BT have been a very powerful partner with us, the technecological platforms they’ve got, the skills, the depth and all that is I think is well spoken about and well researched and well evidenced. But what’s been most important with this joint venture we have with BT has been the collaborative nature of that relationship. We each work to our strengths, we bring strengths to that relationship.
And it’s very much founded on the outcomes rather than process of the engagement.
We’re basically doing over a million transactions a month both in revenue, benefits and other associated areas. This is one of the essential bits you’re judged by as a local authority. If you aren’t getting this right, you aren’t doing the basics right. So this has been an absolutely central part of the recovery agenda, and it was a mess. Now that was actually quite challenging, major risk management challenges there about stopping the systems for well over 6 weeks we thought at one stage and actually keeping services levels at least going whilst we fixed everything and built the new platforms.
BT have bought a huge expertise in technology, a huge understanding of big mass transactions systems, but equally we’ve bought something to the party and I think it was a very good illustration of both a contractor BT and a client working together seamlessly.
Here we were sitting down facing what was quite an attractable
problem in terms of quality of business and cost space.
But by working together and bringing expertise from both sides of the equation, we’ve found a solution which was tailored to Liverpool and which we were now rolling out elsewhere. BT is very supportive here, we had a very very carefully planned project, very very carefully evaluated, very good risk management analysis on it and we did a very good job of this. We turned around far quicker than we thought, anticipations
were at the high end of our expectations in terms of the timescale, most
importantly the business didn’t collapse. We actually kept on, not at the higher levels, but the business carried on and confidence wasn’t shaken amongst our customers. And within a matter of weeks, we were back up again and recovering to really high performing top quartile type performance was being achieved.
We’ve moved the performance of the authority up dramatically from a
very poor rating to a good rating, knocking on the door of excellent. And we’ve also massively reduced the cost space of the business taking £120 million out over five years. Head counts down from 23,500 to 19,000, but overall this is now a high performing quality business that’s delivering the quality of service to our customers that wasn’t the case in the
past." Sir David Henshaw

What utter, self-serving bollocks this little man talks.

Other interesting stuff here: More bollocks from Henshaw about LDL

LDL "save millions for Liverpool" - you couldn't make this stuff up. But they do!

WIRRAL EXCLUSIVE: PROF CHUCKLEBUTTY GIVES HIS VERDICT ON ADOBE ACROBATS, THE CUSTARD COMPANY AND RUDE VAN WINKLE...

By Jove! It's me Sir Diddy, here to celebrate with you.

Today, to mark this historic occasion, instead of my usual frivolity, I offer you a serious address, no not me house in Aigburth “Stillgrabbin” I’ve flogged that, although it still hurts that I couldn’t get at that 50pence piece that fell behind the old boiler, well Lady Diddy is hard to shift after a hard day at the factory knotting sausages.

Here Ladies and Cheltenham, on what should have been a special day for me, had I not been forced to retire on wealth grounds, is my speech to open the Capital of Custard.2008.

They wouldn’t let me make it on the night, even though it was though my glorious leadership that we won it.

Instead, the crowd got a few ramblings from the Anaemic Mermaid herself, Phyllis Redmond, the man who turned the custard company around, so they couldn’t see that he’d done nothing for five years.

“We did it,” he proclaimed!

Through a mouth that looks like somebody sat on a pasty.

“It’s like a scouse wedding!” So you’re all condemned to years of fighting and misery trying to pay for it.

What an inspiration!

Had I still been at the helm this is what you would have got at the Sir Diddy Arena (as it should have been called)

By Jove Missus, We did it!!!! It’s been like a scouse wedding here…..(hang on cut that bit Lady Diddy)

Yes, by Jove, Capital of Custard 2008.

Can you all see me at the back? What do you mean you can’t see me at the front? Can somebody get me a bigger box?

Welcome to Liverpool, the year in which Liverpool itself is the show!

After five years of the Custard Company using every opportunity to make a show of us, it has arrived at last. Here we are in a giant shed in the docks. Yes I know many of you have wanted to see me in the dock for a long time.

Did you all go on Friday?

What a spectacle it was on the steps of St David’s Hall. It left the crowd wanting more, you could here thousands of voices winding back down Lime Street saying over and over again “Is Da F**kin it?”

Nearly three million quid spent on that box of Bengo matches and the three rockets trading standards confiscated in November. Thirty-five minutes of quality entertainment and Pete Price.

Unfortunately the planned opening choral piece from the Grotty Cash Asbo Ensemble, singing my very own theme song, “Pick a pocket or two” had to be postponed when they were all arrested during rehearsals.

I have enlisted the help of renowned Liverpool lawyer and pothole expert, my old sparing partner, Sir Rex of the Hesperus to get the choir released. As you know, I will do anything for a tenor.

Did all enjoy the aerial artistes? That was a mistake you know.

Young Clara MeCogloose was showing Jasper Hottlebottle a sketched out proposal to have a Toxteth Riots sequence on the steps outside the hall, the custard company’s idea of how to engage communities, and Hottlebottle said could you do it with Adobe Acrobat.

So MeCogloose, who is a bit daft in one ear, promptly rushed off looking for some dozy acrobats. Well ladies and gentlemen the idea of the aerial acrobats clearly captured the imagination of the people of the city.

I was touched by the hundreds of requests by people asking to see me suspended from a rope as the main feature for the grand opening.

Unfortunately I suffer from Vertigo with Sagittarius, the Robbing Archer on the cusp. That’s why I can only go to grade 6 Cuban heels. Yes missus, otherwise I get Diddy Spells!
We have a spectacular show for you tonight!

Those of you who know me know that I am a great supporter of our wonderful Liverpool Phil. No not pasty face Redmond! The Philharmonic!

I understand that Arriva have given one of their finest conductors the night off to be here with us.

What’s his name again? Petroleum Jellyco..who? Vascular….Verysilly….Potato? I can’t read this… thought you had spell checked! Is it Raphael Benetton ? What happened to the other fella…Simon Throttle?

Anyway, they’ll be knocking out a few numbers later, including, from the Lib-Dem Book of Patriotic Songs, Land of Hopeless Storey and Rule Blog Ban Ya, along with old favourites, The Plight of the Bumbler Bradley and Amazing Gross Misconduct.

Later for the kids and the Leader, we have some cartoons. The Bugs Bunny Men, Pete Wylie Coyote, Sonia the Hedgehog, MacElhinney the Pooh (that’s a euphemism) The Wombats of Wimbledon, Foghorn Leggarty with his Rooster for Mayor campaign and of course the one and only Pingu Starr from The Arctic Monkees. He’ll be performing in his new singlet again plus the classic hit, “What would you do if I once sang in tune”

Pingu will be signing copies of his new release at the Arena later this evening and all next week in the Pound Shop on Breck Road. I hear Frankies Gone to Holly Oaks so they wont be here.
And despite attempts by a local politician to prevent Farm products being brought in to the Arena, following his experiences of foot in mouth, it has been agreed he will hide in the Ladies when they come on stage to perform their renowned anthrax, er anthem, “All the money’s gone”

There’s more, Ladies and gentlemen, by Jove an authentic voice of Liverpool youth, it says here, then he must have accidentally slipped by the Custard Company to be on stage here tonight, unless he’s the son of one of them, RudeVanWinkle will be performing his rap tribute to Liverpool 08…. here’s a short taster. Riuven is it?

“ Liverpool, it’s 08

you gonna pay for it mate

cos the guys with the purse

been nothin’ but a curse

now it’s here

and the beer

is sellin’ at a rate

that I cant afford a drink,

what I got to celebrate?

You had five years bro,

to plan and you fail

Wasting money you aint got,

you should be in Walton gaol

What you’ve done to the people,

will be done to you I hope

When you’re in the prison shower,

bendin’ down for da soap”

By Jove, Missus, cover the vicars ears, that brings tears to your eyes!

A very Rude Van Winkle.

Finally to say to you all, whatever this bunch of rogues and halfwits supposed to have been leading this have or have not done over the last five years, the hard working staff and ordinary decent Liverpool people involved at the front line of all this have been doing their best to make it a meaningful year beyond the earnings and egos of the incompetent bunch of self serving, self important, careerist money grabbing opportunists trying to claim the credit….well imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so thank you.

Many, if not most, of the events and highlights would have happened anyway but at least this year you might pop along to them and even enjoy them.

If you can get something out of it wonderful, personally, I can’t. all the big money has gone so I’m off back to my new adopted home away from Grotty Cash and back to Mirth of Tydfil in Wales.

Liverpool I left you and I always let you down.

So c’mon Liverpool, get down with D.Diddy and let’s party….sorry special free invitation only to Malmaisson.

No Scousers.

Yakkie Da Everybody Yakkie Da! Wednesday, January 16, 2008 2:29:00 AM

CAPITAL OF CHAOS/MATHEW STREET DEBACLE: AND ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!!!!!

THE crisis-hit Culture Company has been rocked today by a new departure - the resignation on the dotted line of Operations Director Chris 'do I look that?' Green.

Speculation is mounting that 'do I look that?' Green reluctantly decided to take the rap after Colin 'Cover Up' marked his card over the about-to-be-published Mathew Street inquiry.

Insiders believe 'do I look that?' opted to fall on his sword, rather than be publicly knifed for incompetence in the report, which has been closely supervised by 'Cover Up' and the Harbarrowboy.

He decided to walk the plank just days after the announcement that the North West Development Agency had suddenly seconded Bernice Law to be in charge of 'operational delivery' at the Culture Company.

This was a huge vote of 'no confidence' and the proverbial kick in the face with a Size 12 steel toe-capped Doctor Marten, for 'do I look that' Green, who had been (theoretically) in charge of operations.

Of course the decision to go of 'do I look that?' , makes Event chief' Lee Forde's claim against the city council for constructive dismissal, even stronger than before (oh good! eds)

Forde regularly reported his fears about Mathew Street directly to his line manager - one Chris 'do I look that?' Green.

It's unlikely that 'do I look that?' failed to pass these on to the Harbarrowboy, who would have then passed them on to 'Cover Up'.

But both senior managers (on half a million quid between them, eds) have been adept enough to avoid having to make the ultimate sacrifice themselves.

And they now appear to have found an ideal substitute for the axe. (See also Has Jase done a runner already? )

'Do I look that?' was, predictably, one of the last appointments of the evil dictator, Sir Diddy David Henshaw, who shoved him into the Culture Co in the dying days of his crumbling regime. (AHA!, eds)

'Do I Look that' was also given the job in charge of Corporate Sponsorship on the glowing recommendation of the Harbarrowboy, with whom he had worked previously. (There's nothing quite like the old pals act for arranging well-paid jobs at public expense, is there? eds)

As power went to the impressionable head of Jase and he got ideas above his station - and well above his mediocre abilities - he ensured the pliable and grateful ''do I look that" Green was always trailing firmly behind on his coat-tails.

After being promoted and put in charge of Operations by Jase, it was clear to everyone that "Do I look that?" Green was well out of his depth as the pressure mounted and the Culture Company was rocked by a series of cock-ups.

"He looked like a frightened rabbit caught in the headlights", said one Culture Co insider. "He was Jase's 'yes' man. He would always do whatever Jason wanted."

It looks now as though he has made the ultimate sacrifice for the Harbarrowboy - but with a hefty pay-off.

PS It is now clear that Liverpool's Capital of Culture year is being run from Warrington and the headquarters of the North West Development Agency.

Their Chairman, Bryan Gray has been quietly installed as Chair of the Culture Company Board with his hands tightly on the money.

He has brought in Ms Law to watch his back and make sure 2008 doesn't end in complete disaster.

Never one to seek the limelight, Gray has willingly given responsibility for all public statements and spin to Phil 'I'm the city's saviour' Redmond.

Fireman Bradley is an increasing irrelevance.

WHAT A STUNNING IDEA FROM THE CULTURE COMPANY!

We know this is swimming against the tide of public opinion, but we must congratulate the Culture Company on their latest brainwave.

They plan to drain Liverpool's historic Salthouse Dock to create a 20,000 seater venue for a televised BBC charity concert.

Then they want to stun the fish who swim in the dock before safely transporting them to a temporary new home.

A giant goldfish bowl will then be created in the centre of Liverpool where people will pay a fiver to splash around with the rescued fish for the world premiere of an exciting performance art concept.

(We've made this last bit up, eds. The rest is totally true, unbelievably. )

If this madcap, crazed and crazy scheme ever sees the light of day, we will kiss Sir David Henshaw's personal wad, take Colin Cover Up and his mum for dinner (humble pie on the menu, eds) and buy the Harbarrowboy his very own sun lamp.

(So there's a huge incentive for you to actually try and deliver something, lads)

We know Tony Parrish has made much of there being something very fishy about the evil cabal, the city council and the Culture Company. But this is ridiculous.

The woman who put Brian May on top of Buckingham Palace for the Queen's Jubilee concert is apparently behind this bonkers scheme - forced by the lack of major concert venues in Liverpool. The Culture Comp have enthusiastically taken the bait.

Computer generated images have already been shown as part of a glossy presentation to senior officers of the city council, who were apparently left gasping for breath, stunned as a proverbial salty fish and open-mouthed. (No change there then, eds)

The Beeb are all very excited about this unusual use of licence fee payers money.

How much developing this scheme has cost the city's council tax payers so far, is anyone's guess.

How much it will actually cost to stage is astronomical - and rumoured to put £250 on council tax bills for every single home in Liverpool.

Nice to know your hard-earned money is being spent so sensibly, isn't it?

Of course, the Culture Company could be making yet another rod for their own backs.

Or they may be fishing for badly-needed compliments.

The Harbarrowboy could, true to form, prove as slippery as an eel and be spinning us another line. (Although the Daily Post earnestly repeated details of this bizarre plan today, apparently completely straight-faced, eds)

It could also, very obviously, be the one that got away. (Sorry about that, couldn't resist, eds)

In the meantime, if anyone would like to phone the RSPCA to protest about cruelty to the poor fish being stunned, please be our guests.

And if anyone would like to form a Capital of Culture Fish Fanciers Society, please contact us asap.

Meanwhile, we are inviting suggestions for the bands who are likely to appear at the 2008 Fish Festival in Salthouse Dock. (Of course, no one has been booked yet, eds)

Some artist suggestions:

Seal

The Sharks

Shirley Bass-ey

Eels

Kylie Minnow

Groove Armada

Cod Creole

Roachford

The Four Roll Mops

Bob Marlin and the Whalers

Songs to be sung include:

There's A Plaice For Us

Yellow Submarine

It Could Salmon to You

I Cod Have Danced All Night

You Don't Send Me Flounders Anymore

If I Cod Be With You

In The Eel Small Hours Of The Morning

Sea Eeled With A Kiss

That's a Moray

Clam Every Mountain

It Haddock Be You

When You Fish Upon A Star

I Am the Walrus

Shark! the Herald Angels Sing

You Walrus Hurt The One You Love

Sole Train

Zing! Went the Strings of My Carp

Salmon Janet Evening

Nearer My Cod To Thee

Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat

Mackerel The Knife

Crocodile Rock

Stingray (der der der der)

Water Way To End It All