Liverpool subCulture

Letter from Colin CoverUp to city council employees following recent press reports

Dear colleague,

Contrary to recent misleading and totally erroneous reports concerning payoffs, incompetence, waste, negligence, corruption, cover-ups, stress and bullying within the council, I can confirm that Liverpool City Council is not committed to supporting all our staff or council tax payers.

To promote awareness and offer supportive solutions to this sensitive issue the council participated in the recent National Stress Awareness Day on 5 November 2008.

We also plan to play a full part in International Pay-Off Day, which will be held in Nassau, the Bahamas, in just a few weeks time.

Exciting plans are also underway for the Take the Piss out of Council Taxpayers and Waste all Their Money seminar, which will form a major part of next year’s Lib Dem Annual Conference.

I wish to reinforce the position of Liverpool City Council in that we have a zero tolerance approach to good governance.
Any form of bullying, incompetence, dodgy deals, kick-backs, inappropriate relationships with pop promoters, afternoons on the golf course, blackmail attempts, threats and incidents of senior officers feathering their own nests whilst in the workplace will not be fully addressed through jointly agreed policies and procedures.

Reports of bullying, pay-offs, blackmail, threats, corruption and the abuse of power and position for personal and financial advantage are in fact very low for an organisation of this size and each is thoroughly investigated by the Oldham Echo.

Similarly, stress related absence to sun-kissed haciendas, mansions in Formby, or country houses in Wales are at levels comparable with other core cities.

Our non-commitment to support staff has been further demonstrated by the implementation of a range of family-friendly policies and flexible working arrangements for senior officers - they can visit the golf course when they feel like it, but particularly on Friday afternoons; my Exec Management Team all have season tickets for shows at the Echo Arena, we have personal parking facilities for our luxury cars; we have personal showers for any doctors on the growing payroll; we harass, threaten and intimidate anyone who doesn’t roll over and accept the way we do things; we only follow the rules when it suits us; we laugh at the provision of professional counselling services; the introduction of a free confidential helpline available to all staff and their immediate family members is routinely derided – who would be stupid enough to ever use it?; the development of a jointly agreed Stress Policy which will never be put into practice; and the appropriate expensive training for managers at expensive conferences and the introduction of Open access clinics by the Occupational Health Service which has been personally negotiated by the good Dr McElhinney, to be launched on 18 December.

Colin Hilton

Chief executive

ARISE SIR PHIL! - A knighthood for Our Lord Redmond

MULTI millionaire bench-maker Phil Redmond is being touted for a knighthood in the New Year's Honours List.
Our Lord Redmond - and we shall continue to refer to him thus, both for his tonsorial 'style' and his more wondrous and miraculous abilities as 'saviour of Liverpool' - has found friends in high places.
Step forward Lord Derby, a fellow landowner and faithful friend of the common folk of our fair city. (That's a lot of effing, eds).
For it is the squire of Knowsley who has been quietly championing the cause of Our Lord, as the man who finally put Liverpool's culture on the European map.
(Albeit from the comfortable vantage point of his £20million mansion in Frodsham).
Yes it is Phil we have to thank for the massive pay-offs, the cock-ups, the damp squibs, the crap marketing and the rash of new diy benches that have suddenly sprouted up all over the city as the people of Picton and Liverpoool 8 have suddenly risen in joyful acclamation of Capital of Culture.
Lord Derby, who now 'works' for one of the many finance houses who have well and truly ****ed up the economy with the credit crunch, has been going around lobbying for Our Lord amongst the city's great and good.
He has been asking 'movers and shakers' to give their support to a Knightood for Our Lord.
Quite why Lord Derby, who some mischievously say is now on his uppers as a result of said credit crunch, would want to do multi-millionaire Phil a favour, is quite beyond us.
But what response has this secret campaign for support been getting?
Some have listened politely to the noble Lord's entreaties on behalf of the nascent 'Sir Phil'. Some have been less polite in their response. We put it no stronger. We leave it your imagination - you are perfectly capable of filling in the blanks.
Of course, Our Lord will be in illustrious company with other knighted 'people' like the evil Sir Diddy and other thieves and famous ne'er do wells, when he eventually bows his knee in front of Her Madge.
'Alright, Queen,' we can already hear Phil remarking, before entertaining her with his interminable 'Scouse wedding' metaphor, repeated for the 967th time.
Meanwhile Our Lord is also busying himself with the firework display at the Pier Head which will mark the end of a fantastic year of culture and which, it is confidently being forecast by the Oldham Echo, will be witnessed by a greater global audience than the inauguration of Barack Obama as President of the United States.
Can't wait...

LIB DEMS ON TRIAL (PART 2) - "You realised you had been rumbled...."

A SENIOR Liverpool councillor on trial for breaking election law yesterday claimed he “found” leaflets smearing a rival political family.
Cllr Steve Hurst, executive member for corporate performance, is accused of delivering offensive fliers during the 2007 local elections.
Pink leaflets – purporting to be published by The United Socialist Party (TUSP) – were pushed through doors in Liverpool’s Woodlands Estate.
Titled “Walton Scab”, they attacked Labour councillor Pauline Walton, who was not up for election, and her husband, Keith, a firefighter.
They claimed she was learning to lap dance and that he crossed the picket line during a firefighter strike.
Cllr Hurst admits he was in the area on May 2, 2007 – the day before polls opened – but claimed he was only delivering legitimate Liberal Democrat leaflets.
He is accused of breaching section 110 of the Representation of the People Act, which requires all election publicity material to detail the name and address of the printer and publisher.
He denies the charge, but if found guilty, faces a fine of up to £5,000.
In the second day of the trial, he told the court he picked up the supposed-TUSP leaflets while electioneering in Woodlands.
Cllr Hurst said: “Not far from where I had started, I found some discarded TUSP leaflets, about five or six. I read them, seen how derogatory it was. I had never seen anything like it in my life. Any opposition leaflets, we should take them back to the Lib-Dem HQ for information purposes. This is something all councillors do.”
He said he tucked them under his Lib-Dem leaflets and continued.
Later, Cllr Hurst came across Mr Walton and his two sons, Ben, 23, and Lee, 26.
He claimed Ben and Lee set upon him on Selside Walk, while their father took pictures on his camera phone.
Cllr Hurst added: “Lee Walton attempted to grab the leaflets out of my hand. There was no way he was going to get the leaflets from me – I was too strong, so he got me in a headlock and at all times he was trying to get the leaflets from my hands.
“My cap fell off and my sunglasses got kicked to the ground. We fell against the floor or the fence. I was kicked in the face.”
Cllr Hurst said the attack appeared at the time to be unprovoked.
Under cross examination, prosecutor Mike Gregory asked why Cllr Hurst did not put the TUSP leaflets in his backpack.
Cllr Hurst explained time was short and it would have been “awkward” to take off his bag.
Mr Gregory also challenged Cllr Hurst over his reaction when confronted by the Walton men.
Mr Gregory said it was “odd” Cllr Hurst did not simply hand the leaflets over to Mr Walton and explain the situation.
Mr Gregory said: “I suggest to you, that you said nothing about the leaflet at that stage because you had been delivering them.”
“That’s incorrect,” Cllr Hurst said.
“Was the baseball cap and glasses a disguise?” Mr Gregory continued.
“It was a hot, sunny day. That would be the advisable attire to wear in a hot sunny day.”
“You realised you had been rumbled and instead of engaging them in conversation you instead tried to grab the offending camera?”
“No.”
The case continues.

(courtesy Daily Post)

LIB DEMS ON TRIAL (PART 1) - ROTTEN TO THE CORE ....(courtesy of the Daily Post)

A LEADING Liberal Democrat councillor in Liverpool attempted to smear a rival by distributing a leaflet attacking her husband and suggesting she was a lap dancer, a court heard yesterday.
Cllr Steve Hurst, a firefighter, who is accused of breaking election law, was allegedly wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap while said to be distributing the leaflets.
The day before the local elections in May 2007, leaflets were posted through letterboxes on the Woodlands estate, in the Belle Vale ward.
The pink leaflets titled “Walton Scab” attacked Labour councillor Pauline Walton, who was not up for election, and her husband, Keith, who is also a firefighter.
The leaflet claimed Mr Walton had “scabbed” during the firefighters’ strike, and that he was unpopular at his private golf club (Lee Park, where Cllr Hurst is also a member).
It also stated: “Your Labour councillor leaves meetings early to go to lap dancing (or line dancing – I’m not sure which) classes.
“Don’t vote for scabs, vote for a real socialist party, vote TUSP [The United Socialist Party].”
Cllr Hurst, executive member for corporate performance and ward councillor for Wavertree, is accused of breaching section 110 of the Representation of the People Act on May 2 – the day before the local elections last year.
The section requires election publicity material to include an imprint detailing the name and address of the printer and publisher of the material.
He denies the charge, but if found guilty, faces a fine of up to £5,000.
Liverpool Magistrates’ Court heard how Mr Walton had been at home in Egremont Lawn, Belle Vale, on May 2, last year when he received a call from a resident in nearby Ridsdale Lawn, saying she had received an “offensive” pink leaflet.
Mr Walton said after collecting the leaflet from Edith Turner’s home, he decided to confront TUSP’s election agent, Jim Wilson, who also lived on the estate.
Mr Wilson denied being involved and told Mr Walton he would report it to the police.
Karen Davies, of nearby Appleby Lawn, called round at the Walton household soon after and said she too had had the pink “TUSP” leaflet, the court was told.
Mr Walton said soon after he left with his son Ben, 23, to look for the person posting the leaflets, and were joined by older son Lee Walton, 26, who was just arriving home from work.
Mike Gregory, for the prosecution, said they found Cllr Hurst in Selside Walk where Mr Walton took a photo of him on his mobile phone.
“He had in his hands yellow leaflets folded over, and as he got close to the door, he was taking out pink leaflets from the middle and posting them through the letterbox,” said Ben Walton.
The Waltons claim that after they were spotted by Cllr Hurst, he “lunged towards” Keith Walton and tried to grab the camera phone.
Lee Walton said: “My dad shouted out ‘I’ve got you now Hursty.”
Lee Walton said he got Cllr Hurst in a headlock to protect his father, while Ben Walton grabbed Cllr Hurst’s hands down by his waist, the court heard.
After a brief scuffle Cllr Hurst wriggled free of the pair and ran off down the road.
The court heard his baseball cap, a sunglass lens, and some leaflets – a number of yellow Lib-Dem fliers and some pink TUSP leaflets – were left at the scene.
“Mr Hurst scuttled off and shouted some abuse to my dad calling him a scab b------d,” Lee Walton told the court.
He denied the only reason he grabbed hold of Cllr Hurst was to get the leaflets from him.
When defence barrister Janet Reaney put to him that there were pink Lib-Dem leaflets among those that fell on the ground, he said he did not know.
Ms Davies told the court she had seen a man wearing a baseball cap and between 5ft 6ins and 5ft 9ins tall walk down her path and deliver a leaflet to her door – a pink TUSP leaflet.
Linda Murray, of Selside Walk, also told the court how she had seen a man in a baseball cap deliver a pink leaflet with a “personal attack” on Pauline Walton and her husband.
She said she noticed him because “he had a baseball cap and I thought it was one of the smackheads”.
She said she left her house to confront the man, but then saw the Waltons “legging” it past and heard a commotion round the corner.
In the following day’s election, Labour’s Janet Kent won the Belle Vale seat with 1,639 votes, beating the sitting Lib-Dem councillor Ian Phillips by just 134 votes.
The case in front of District Judge Richard Clancy was being watched by an observer from the local government ethics watchdog the Standards Board for England.
The case continues

NEW SERIES: Our Lord Redmond writes exclusively for Liverpool SubCulture

TALENT. You've either got it (like me, obviously) or you haven't.
Culture Secretary Andy Burnham is a young lad with talent too. He's just made me boss of the Museums in Liverpool.
So stuff you Loyd Grossman, a here-today, gone-tomorrow pasta sauce maker.
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
That David Fleming has been as nice as pie with me ever since I got the job.
And his wife Alison, who Sir Diddy once hired as his own personal spin doctor. Or Nurse. As the case may be.
But a lovely lady - and very well connected at the Beeb.
Do you know - she put her own name forward for that job! Some front, eh?
Talent will always out.
That's what I thought when I first came up with the great idea of having a giant talent contest at the Echo Arena.
I was watching the X Factor at my place in the country when the light suddenly went off in my head.
I know, I thought, watching Simon Cowell grinnining away like a maniac, I could pinch his idea lock, stock and barrel and I bet those gullible Scousers will fall for it.
And how right I was.
Don't you see?
Get a few thousand deluded, deranged or desperate people to turn up at the Arena, patronise them like crazy for the day, pick someone half decent, give them a grand of council taxpayers money as a prize and a walk-on part in Hollyoaks and...(Sir) Bob (Scott's')s your uncle!
The winner is all smiles, thinks they are about to do a Will Young world tour (whatever happened to him by the way?) and owes eternal gratitude to yours truly.
I smile modestly and give lots of TV and radio interviews to gullible, uncritical journalists while carefully preening my hair and affecting a thick Scouse accent and a chirpy bloke-next-door-demeanour.
And the losers?
Well they've all had a nice day out at the Dock haven't they? What's the problem?
And what's more, its all about community engagement!
With 2,000 people queuing up outside the Arena on a wild goose chase, no-one on the blogosphere or anywhere else, can possibly claim there has been no community engagement in 08.
It's a win-win for yours truly!
Told you I had talent.
Yet another success in my special year to add to all my other successes - Ringo, and Paul, and my museum jobbie, and the craven Echo's unquestioning support, and my song for Liverpool, and my superlambananas, and my do-it-yourself bench contest.
What more could people want? Bread and circuses?
Culture has provided true engagement.
It has been truly life changing.
Thanks to me.
This is what I mean when I say that Liverpool will stage the best ever Capital of Culture.
No one gives a toss about the other Capitals of Culture anyway.
Where was it last year?
Where is the next one going to be? In 2009?
No-one has got the foggiest.
So they can't be that difficult for us to beat can they?
Despite the council's best efforts at cocking it all up.
But with the talent we have here on the banks of the Mersey, talented people like me can really put Liverpool on the global map for the first time ever in our great history.
My close mate Mike McCartney was right when he said there was more talent in the Liver Bird's little toe than in any other city in the world.
Obviously true.
More talent than New York.
Or Los Angeles.
Or Brasilia.
Or Berlin.
And more talent than Bejing, next week.
Obviously.
And Mike and my good showbiz, celebrity friends Les Dennis and Clare Sweeney will do a great job in judging that talent, giving it a chance and taking the city forward to a brighter future.
Where everyone can aspire to being a Sinatra impersonator.
To do that, takes real talent.

Well done - you're sacked!!!!!

29/2/2008

Message from Cllr Warren Bradley and Chief executive Colin Hilton

Dear colleague.
At a meeting of the executive board today, 29 February, a number of reports were considered which outlined significant successes for the city.
The members and senior officers present were unanimous in wishing to convey the appreciation to all staff for their hard work in continuing to deliver high quality services and significant improvements for the people of Liverpool.
Much negative publicity in recent weeks has obscured some of this success but it is important that we continue to give public recognition to the work of staff, partner organisations, elected members and communities across the city who are committed to driving forward this improvement.
Well done and continue the good work

Warren Bradley
Leader, Liverpool City Council
Colin Hilton
Chief executive

Message to staff from Colin Hilton

Dear colleague
The council is currently in the process of setting its budget and updating its medium term financial plan.
The ruling group have now set out their proposals which address the funding gap in line with revised priorities and in the light of the recommendations from the Audit Commission.
These are being presented to the Resources select committee tonight (Wednesday) and executive board this Friday which will in turn recommend a budget to the council for a decision on 5 March.
Naturally there will be concern about the impact of potential service changes and the implications for staffing levels in the council. It is inevitable that faced with a prospective funding gap of such size that the proposals will lead to the deletion of a number of posts.
This will not however be of a scale which is significantly different from other budgets in the last 10 years and it is likely to equate to around 200 posts out of a total workforce of 9,500 (excluding school staff who are not affected by these budget proposals).
In line with priorities these reductions will be targeted and not fall uniformly across all services. Of course you will want to know how this general message impacts on your own service areas and managers will be briefing and consulting on the way forward with you over the coming weeks.
This scale of reduction has always been successfully managed by the council using staff turnover and vacancy management to achieve a substantial proportion of the savings requirements and efficiencies.
It remains the ambition of the council to continue to use redeployment under the new proposed procedures going before council as the main mechanism for delivering these reductions.
This means operating the central vacancy management system for all portfolios until this is achieved. Voluntary severance arrangements will operate under the new procedures but there will not be a general open invitation for applications. Instead those service areas which are the subject of reductions will be able to utilise this facility with authorisation from the relevant ED in discussion with HR and Finance but strictly in accordance with the agreed procedures.
Working together and with the co-operation of staff and trades unions I am sure that we will be able to deliver this and minimise the need for any compulsory redundancies to ensure that the council is on a firmer financial footing in order to provide a greater level of security and certainty for our services in the future.

Colin Hilton
Chief Executive

Twigger is the last to twig that the postman doesn't ring twice

Lib Dem councillor Paul Twigger has 'jumped before he was pushed' after being caught using university facilities for the Lib Dem campaign in Knotty Ash.

Twigger has quit his job at Liverpool's John Moores University after being confronted with the evidence by Vice-Chancellor Michael Brown.

But Twigger now faces an internal Town Hall investigation after trying it on a second time - this time by using city council facilities!

Twigger first fired off thousands of letters to voters in Knotty Ash using the JMU postal franking machine - thus saving the Lib Dems a small fortune in stamps.

Unfortunately for him, an eagle-eyed Labour voter in Knotty Ash was amongst the first to receive one of the missives and noticed the JMU postmark on the envelope.

The public-spirited voter immediately alerted Labour Party officials who sent an official complaint to JMU (with a proper stamp, eds)

Twigger was hauled in front of Brown and, under questioning, admitted that he had used the JMU franking machine to send out election literature.

Of course, Twigger insisted that he had sent 'only a few letters' out to voters. (He would say that, wouldn't he? eds)

A chastened Twigger apologised after hurriedly submitting his resignation - before he could be suspended pending a full-scale disciplinary investigation by JMU.

But Twigger did not learn from this - and tried it on a second time. (Nothing if not consistent, eds)

After shoving envelopes through the JMU franking machine, he did exactly the same thing in the Lib Dem office at the Municipal Buildings with a city council franking machine!

Again, one of his Lib Dem letters, complete with city council franked envelope, was handed to Labour officials by a concerned voter.

Now an internal enquiry Town Hall enquiry has begun into Twigger abusing his position and mis-using council taxpayers money for the Lib Dem campaign.

None of which should come as a surprise to any of our loyal readers.

After all, the Lib Dems have spent the last decade mis-using council taxpayers money.

We got it wrong....

Liverpool Subculture would like to issue an official apology to all our readers, to the people of Liverpool and to the millions of little fishies swimming in Salthouse Dock.
All of them will vividly recall the amazing scheme that the Liverpool Culture Company first came up with to stage the Paul McCartney gig at the Salthouse Dock.
The plan was simple (minded, eds).
Stun the fish swimming about in the dock.
Transfer them to a giant goldfish bowl.
Put lots of seats into the dock.
Arrange global TV rights.
And Bob's your uncle.
Then wake up the little fishies and put them back in the dock.
Sound.
Culture Company Director Kris Donaldson (£150K a year, plus Performance Related Pay at 15 per cent, per annum, adding up to around £190-£200K a year) and Lorna Dickenson (£100K a year former BBC producer) were both strong champions of the stun-the-Salthouse-fish scheme.
Frogmen were hired to delve deep into the dock's murky depths and all sorts of soundings were taken, before sadly, the great brains behind the Liverpool Culture Company and the Lib Dim city council finally decided that the scheme was not a go-er.
(Getawaywithyou? Really? What a terrible pity! You do surprise us! eds)
To our eternal shame, Liverpool Subculture has wilfully and persistently mislead our readers, the people of Liverpool and the poor little fishies in our coverage of this exciting, bold and imaginative scheme.
We reported that the feasibility studies for Salthouse Dock had cost a cool £250,000.
We were wrong.
Woefully, unforgiveably, abjectly, wrong.
Incorrect.
False.
Off beam.
Way off target.
Telling porkies.
A Complete Fabrication.
Making it up.
It was Defamatory.
Actionable.
A total lie.
The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth is that the total cost of this non-event was..... £330,000.
Of hard-earned council taxpayers money.
Down the drain.
Wasted.
Thrown away.
Mis-spent.
Pissed up against the wall.
Frittered away.
Squandered.
We should like to apologise sincerely for our terrible mistake.
And we promise, we really promise, that this kind of breathtaking blunder will never, ever, ever, happen again.

OUR LORD REDMOND'S FAVOURITE BENCH - MILLIONS TAKE PART IN EXCLUSIVE ECHO PHONE VOTE

TENSION is rising as the Echo reveals the short-listed designs for its Capital of Culture 'Bench of the Entire Universe' contest. masterminded by Our Lord Redmond.
Millions of Merseysiders are expected to take part in the exclusive and extremely testing reader poll to pick the best bench for a person to sit on.
They are likely to have to have to take into account a huge range of incredibly complex considerations, including things like comfort; whether the actual bench is cold or warm; whether the actual bench leaves any marks on your buttocks when you stand up; and whether you prefer to hang about on street corners and become an ASBO type person or whether you have now learnt the error of your ways and prefer to sit on one of Our Lord Redmond's actual special benches and thus make a meaningful contribution to society and Liverpool's brilliant reign as a premier European city under Fireman Bradley.
As Our Lord Redmond has already remarked so aptly:
"Benches. They are not simply something to sit on. They are part of Liverpool's awe-inspiring world-class regeneration. They have the power to move. Literally. To inspire people beyond words. To encompass all that is good and decent in humanity. To lift us above the humdrum and to soar into the clouds, into the far flung corners of the galaxy, to boldly go....." (that's enough Star Trek, eds)
There is also likely to be a tie-breaker which goes along the lines of:
"My bench is better than yours, according to Our Lord Redmond, because.................................................... (in not less than 50 words, to be judged by one of Fireman Bradley's clever spin-doctors).
So you can see why people are getting breathlessly excited by all this in our world-class year as Capital of Culture 2008 and why the people of Anfield and Old Swan and Tuebrook are marvelling at the sheer leap of imagination that is required to fashion one of these 'benches'.
Hopefully the winning design will be sat on by Our Lord Redmond when he is carried through the street of Liverpool by a cheering and ever grateful populace for rescuing the city from its worst excesses.
Then we can all sit down and relax.
But in case you missed it - here is the Echo's eye-popping exclusive about their exclusive competition about the actual bench. Exclusively.
Spot the deliberate piss-take.

TODAY we unveil the shortlisted designs in our Benchmark competition.
Would-be designers inundated the ECHO with their creations for the contest, part of the Open Culture project, created by Phil Redmond and backed by Merseyside’s media.
The winning design will be developed into a full-size bench and a number of them will be put around the city to mark 2008 and as a legacy beyond Capital of Culture year.
Now it is down to ECHO readers to choose which bench is their favourite.
Voting runs all week to pick two finalists who will then have their benches made into prototypes before the winning design is finally chosen.
Phil Redmond, who launched Open Culture to encourage people to get involved in Capital of Culture, said: “We set a creative challenge and I’m very pleased with the response.
“I said at the beginning, it’s not simply a bench. It’s also a cultural resting place, something to sit on, reflect, read, or just watch the world go by.”
Hundreds of entries were also received from Merseyside schools and a separate shortlist will be printed in the ECHO next week when readers will also have the chance to choose a finalist from the schoolchildren’s designs.
ECHO editor Alastair Machray said: “We’d hoped for a good response to our competition but the sheer volume of entries was incredible.
“There were many really innovative, obviously well thought out designs and it was very difficult to whittle them down to just eight.
“All the shortlisted entries are distinct in themselves and make use of all sorts of materials, including wood, metal and recycled plastic.
“Whichever the readers choose as their favourite will form a unique contribution to 2008 and well beyond.”
The eight shortlisted entries include a 3-D model by James Lawson, who envisages his “08 Culture” design being created in recycled plastic.
Adrian Mercer has created a “Heart of Culture” design featuring solar-powered LED lights, while Brian McDonald harks back to the city’s engineering heritage with a galvanised steel Meccano-style seat.
He said: “With Meccano you could build anything from huge cranes, drawbridges and aeroplanes – and even park benches.
“I based my bench on Meccano because it was a large and successful company from Liverpool which gave pleasure, and still does, to many people both young and old.”
L Roberts has designed a ship-shaped seat with a back encompassing the city’s landmarks and the musical refrain of All You Need is Love.
Meanwhile, Joel Phelan sent in a series of designs, of which a wooden “chess bench” complete with a checked board and waterproof clocks to time players was chosen for shortlisting by judges.
Gres Mercer has incorporated a practical cycle rack in an 08-themed retro Mersey Ferry bench.
Ilsa Parry’s word-filled Storyteller bench celebrates Liverpool’s unique accent and language. Its designer said: “Every person has a story to tell, and Scousers tell them best. To read the full story you may have to revisit the resting place many times.”
Finally, Colin Powell has offered a “playful” concept called All Together Now, which he says he wants to “celebrate the positivity, humour and cameraderie of the people of Liverpool.”
Vote for your favourite bench
* VIEW the designs here (PDF)
CALL 0901 229 1800 and key in your two digit vote choice.
or
TEXT LEVOTE followed by a space and the two-digit number you wish to vote for and send your text to 84080
Terms and Conditions: 1. Calls will cost 25p at all times, although network charges may vary. 2. Text messages are charged at 25p plus standard message rate, and this service is available to all networks. 3. Number of entries per person is not limited. 4. Usual competition rules apply. 5. The competition is open to UK residents aged 18 and over at the time of entry, except employees and their immediate families of Trinity Mirror and each of their group companies, and anyone professionally connected with this promotion. 6. Lines will be open from 11am Monday, March 31 until midnight Friday, April 4 2008. 7. Full Trinity Mirror terms and conditions are available on request and can be viewed at www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/rules
culturechat.merseyblogs.co.uk/
And if more than ten people waste any of their hard-earned money on this nonsense, there is probably no hope left for the entire human race.

BENCHMARK? A PAIN IN THE ARSE FROM OUR LORD REDMOND....

OUR Lord Redmond has launched his great cultural initiative for 2008 - Build your own bench! The Echo, pitifully but predictably, has started a Readers Campaign inviting bench designs. (No 673 in a series of totally duff reader campaigns). At first, we thought the Benchmark campaign was tongue in cheek and some mischievous reporter was taking the piss. Now it's clear they are perfectly serious. How any self-respecting journalist can write this kind of shit, is beyond us. Perhaps we should join the Echo contest and build a papier mache bench made up out of all their slavishly uncritical stories about the Culture Company? It would certainly be big enough to provide seating for all the staff the city council is now sacking because of the money they have wasted. Perhaps the bench could go outside the Culture Company's HQ at the Fun Palace? It is laughable. Absurd. Surreal. Inept. Gob-smacking. We reproduce below the Liverpool Echo's campaign. Although which of the sycophantic plonkers in Editor Machray's team was responsible for this nonsense is a complete mystery....

read this and weep.....

ENTRIES have started to roll in for the ECHO’s Benchmark competition.
The contest, to design a bench to be built and placed in the city, appears to have captured the imagination of readers.
Benchmark is being organised as part of the Open Culture initiative launched by Phil Redmond and supported by Merseyside media.
It is aimed at give more people the chance to take part in Capital of Culture celebrations.
ECHO editor Alastair Machray said: “It’s obvious people are keen to rise to the challenge of designing a permanent piece of art in Capital of Culture year.
“There are some very imaginative entries coming in. Some of them are even three dimensional. And at this rate the judges are going to have their work cut out to narrow them down to a shortlist.
“We want people to let their imaginations run wild and create something that’s both useful and at the same time beautiful or thought-provoking.”
Designs can be submitted to be created from wood, metal, plastic or even recycled materials.
The competition is backed by our sister paper the Daily Post, Radio Merseyside and Radio City.
Judges from the ECHO, Open Culture and Liverpool’s public realm team will draw up a shortlist, with ECHO readers voting for the three finalists.
A prototype of their benches will be built with the public deciding on their favourite.
Ten of the winning benches will be placed around the city as a legacy for 2008.
The closing date is Friday, February 29.
CREATE your design for a culture bench in black or white or in colour and in pen, pencil or graphics.
Send the design, stating in which material it is to be made, by post to:
Benchmark competition, Editorial, Liverpool Echo, PO Box 48, Old Hall Street, Liverpool, L69 3EB.
Or email your entry to: catherinejones@liverpoolecho.co.uk
You must include your name, address and a contact phone number. Closing date for entries is Friday, February 29.
cagtherinejones@liverpoolecho.co.uk (sic)
What a hideous sop to cultural engagement.

THE "FUCK UP AND FUCK OFF" BRIGADE - AND HOW MUCH THEY COST COUNCIL TAXPAYERS

LIVERPOOL DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS - by LEE FORDE

I have compiled the attached dossier with a heavy heart and after a great deal of soul-searching. I know that it will damage the city I love and will shock many people.

But I believe that I have a public duty to tell the truth about what happened over the cancellation of the Mathew Street festival and in the days following the publication of the city council’s now discredited internal inquiry report.

My intention is to clear my name of any blame whatsoever. The city council’s own report, as this dossier reveals, has now been disowned by the Leader of the Council, Councillor Warren Bradley – he has admitted that the report’s findings are incorrect.

Nothing less than a full, independent enquiry into all the circumstances of Mathew Street will now be sufficient to allay the growing concern. I will provide any information in my possession to an independent enquiry and will offer full co-operation. I have nothing to fear. I shall also be asking my local MP to officially raise this matter and related matters contained here.

This dossier concentrates in particular on the actions and behaviour of the Leader of the Council and the former Leader, Councillor Mike Storey. I regard their underhand actions in conspiring to get rid of the chief executive of the Culture Company - for whatever reason - as both unethical and utterly immoral.

I believe that the whitewash carried out over the cancellation of Mathew Street cannot disguise the extremely serious issues which exist at a very senior level in the city council and the Culture Company. The battle between officers and politicians which is being constantly fought, is damaging Liverpool and making casualties of the innocent and blameless. They are being cynically made the scapegoats while the guilty go free.

In my view, some of the senior personalities involved in this shameful episode have shown absolutely no regard or concern for other people. They appear perfectly willing to wreck other people’s lives and sacrifice the careers of others to selfishly try and save their own positions and promote their own particular plots.

They have shown themselves to have behaved without honour, decency or a shred of integrity.

Liverpool deserves better than this. Liverpool deserves the truth.

That is the purpose of this report – it is for others to decide the further action which is necessary in Liverpool’s best interests.

Lee Forde

CAST OF CHARACTERS

a) Sir Diddy - Sir David Henshaw, former chief executive and mastermind of the evil cabal. Greedy, blackmailer, corrupt, liar, coup plotter. Now Chair of the health service in the North West - despite the opposition of 25 Labour MPs. Tony Parrish's sworn enemy. Successfully exposed by the now legendary liverpoolevilcabal blog. Fled Liverpool with tail between his legs. TP still out to finish him off. Small man - giant ego.
a)Sir David Henshaw
a)Sir Diddy
b) The rottweiller - Dr David McElhinney, chief executive of Liverpool Direct Limited. Henshaw's right hand man. Twisted, vicious, irredeemably nasty piece of work. Robbed the city blind to feather his own nest and his own predilections for blonde women. Should be in jail.
b) The Rottweiller's bolt hole
b)Blondes
b)boxing hobby benefits from LDL
b)The rottweiller
c) Hasitall, the smiling assassin - Phil Halsall, Executive Director and third member of the evil cabal. City now £23million in the red thanks to his incompetent financial stewardship. Hypocrite, liar, worthless. Hanging on to his job by the skin of his teeth.
c)Hasitall
d) Colin CoverUp - Colin Hilton, current chief executive. Whitewashed the wrongdoing of the evil cabal. Lacklustre and incompetent bureaucrat. Not exactly inspirational.
d)Colin CoverUp
e) The fireman - Warren Bradley, current council leader. Spectacularly out of his depth. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. A puppet of his parents, Storey and Paul Clark. No discernible beliefs, except hanging on to power, so an ideal Lib Dem. Constantly given the run-around by officials, who take the piss out of him behind his back..
f) The storeyteller - Mike Storey, former council leader. Consistently weak.
g) The Harbarrowboy - Jason Harborow, former chief executive of the Culture Company. Promoted way beyond his abilities by Henshaw and Storey. Ruinous mis-management of Culture. Perma-tanned from constant trips abroad, laden with gold jewellery, ecky-thump accent. Cost the city tens of millions of pounds. On the run in Spain, where he has bought an ice-cream factory. Sickening, arrogant little jumped up con-man. Just like Henshaw.
g)The Harbarrowboy
h) Donald Bullshitter - Kris Donaldson, acting chief exec of Culture in the Harbarrowboy's absence. Can't take decisions to save his life. Fantastically spendthrift, no judgement, like a frightened rabbit caught in headlights. There is genuine amusement that the most incompetent of them all has risen to the top! All teeth, irritating US drawl and no substance. Probably voted for Bush. Living proof of the phrase 'couldn't run a piss-up in a brewery'.
ha) The Great White Hope - Phil Redmond, multi-millionaire Labour Party member. Self-styled saviour of 2008 and voice of the people. Lagubrious, loutish demeanour. Affects a thick Scouse accent for public appearances. Self-interested ego-maniac eyeing up his chances of becoming first elected Liverpool Mayor. Appears to believe he is a central character in a low-grade soap opera. Keeps on referring to 'when I was at Brookside, we did this...." without any apparent shame. Has done nothing so far but get himself headlines in the Echo.Utter waste of space.
ha)Redmond attacks BBC for perfectly impartial report
ha)Redmond makes stupid promises
i) Ken Unworthy/the bald legal eagle - Michael Kenworthy, crap city solicitor.
j) Lee Forde - former Events boss, warned that Mathew Street could not be delivered because of Harbarrowboy's massive cuts. Jumped ship rather than have his professionalism and integrity compromised. Fighting the city council for constructive dismissal. Victimised and subject to dirty tricks campaign by the council. We are on his side.
k) Joe Anderson - Labour Leader. The best hope for the city. Hasn't put a foot wrong, harrying the Lib Dems at every turn. No nonsense - set to wield the axe amongst the fat cats. Determined to clean up the city.
l) 'Randy' Newman - Paul Newman, £90,000 a year Head of Communications for the Culture Company. Stabbing Joe Riley in the back is just one of his many offences. Staff secretly snigger about his Leslie Phillips 'Carry On Doctor', "well, hell-oo..." drawl at the sight of an attractive new woman. Hence, also known as 'lascivious Leslie'. A proven liar, bully and worst of all, completely ineffective. Lives in Gloucester - only here for the money and the next fat cat job. Currently cosy-ing up like crazy to Bryan Gray, from the NWDA, in an attempt to get a new job.
l)Randy Newman
m) Joe Riley - irritatingly opinionated columnist at the appallingly downmarket Echo. Self-styled 'expert' on all things cultural. Appears to have had the wind knocked out of him after being disciplined for falling asleep during a Jimmy McGovern play. May not have the bottle anymore to critiscise the council/Culture Co. Lacks awareness of any wider world outside the narrow confines surrounding his desk.
m)Riley attacks CoC stupidity
n) Robbing Archer - Robyn Archer, Aussie Artistic Director personally appointed by Henshaw. Did bugger all but take the money and flounce around town with a girly retinue on 'scoping' exercises. Paid off with £360,000 by the Fireman. Absolutely disastrous episode for Liverpool.
x) more to come...

INTERNATIONAL NEWS! BUENOS DIAS SENOR!!!!

By now, our loyal readers will have grown accustomed to the international attention which Liverpool subCulture attracts. But we thought one small technical detail about one of our global afficionados might be of particular interest.
On 11th October 2007, beginning at 06:16:11, we had one particular reader in Spain, (of all countries! eds) who spent a total of 6 hours 16 mins and 0 secs reading the subculturegossip post 'HAS JASE DONE A RUNNER ALREADY?'
He spent almost as much time on the blog as Trinity Mirror, The Mersey Partnership, the Audit Commission and Liverpool Direct!
We have now labelled this entry on our internal monitoring system 'The Harbarrowboy in Spain' - and he gets a groovy little Spanish flag icon alongside his technical details for showing such conspicuous interest in our humble little efforts. This will enable us to keep you posted of his future interest in the blog.
Still, you would think there would be something else to do around the hacienda, wouldn't you?

Saturday, February 23, 2008

WE WUZ WRONG......

VIVA LAS VEGAS!: AN APOLOGY.

Ten days ago, we predicted that the Lib Dim Leader of Liverpool City Council, Councillor Warren Bradley would be forced to resign within the month. We made this bold forecast in the full knowledge of the Fireman's amazing freebie tickets to see 'Love' in Las Vegas.

We were wrong.

It is now apparent that the Fireman will not be forced to resign, despite abusing his position and taking public money to gain a personal advantage.
No pressure will be put on him to go by members of the Lib Dim group.
The city council will not not order an independent enquiry.
The matter will not be referred to the Standards Board.
Nor will the District Auditor be asked to investigate.
The local government Ombudsman will not get involved.
The council's own internal Standards watchdog will not take it up either.
Colin CoverUp will either hide under his desk pretending that it all has gone away or throw another bucket of whitewash over it.
The Echo will not put the story on their front page - they are too busy concentrating on Scouse slebs, drug runners and bogus Redmond stories.
BBC Radio Merseyside probably still don't even know about Las Vegas.
And no one is listening to City Talk.

We therefore deeply regret deliberately misleading our loyal readers and falsely raising their hopes, without any foundation whatsoever.
We would like to sincerely apologise to them for our mistake and for the Fireman's continued failure to resign.
The only explanation we can give for this regrettable set of circumstances is that we obviously have higher standards of ethical behaviour, public service and political integrity than others.
And a far greater sense of what is right and what is wrong.
It is clear to us now that the Fireman's behaviour is not seen as remotely unusual, corrupt or extraordinary in Liverpool.
We apologise for ever believing otherwise.

Friday, February 22, 2008

VIVA LAS VEGAS! FIREMAN BRADLEY FINDS 'LOVE' ON THE RATES....!

City council leader Warren Bradley has admitted that council taxpayers footed the bill for two free tickets he got to see Cirque du Soleil's Beatles 'Love' show in Las Vegas.

The tickets, which cost between $102-$165 each, were paid for by city council taxpayers while Fireman Bradley was on holiday in the States with his wife celebrating his 40th birthday.

A mystery, but public-spirited, Culture Company employee has blown the whistle on the jaunt in an anonymous, un-dated, note.It reads:
"I feel I need to bring to your attention a very serious and probably criminal act by the Leader Mr Bradley. Given his recent press comments about honesty and success in driving out respected officers we can no longer stay silent.

"Last year he visited the USA for his “40th birthday” with his wife. Whilst there he visited Las Vegas. He contacted the Capital of Culture office and demanded we pay for 2 tickets for a show he wanted to see. We were told to pay for the tickets as the leader felt they were too expensive. There is a record of this payment.

"Why? This was a private holiday and nothing to do with 08. When is this corruption going to stop? The Chief Executive, Jason, has all the details. Please investigate this matter and stop this abuse."

So the Fireman has now admitted that he blagged two free tickets to see the show while on his jollies.

Labour councillors say that he has defended his 'freebie on the rates' by claiming that he was asked to go and see the show as part of his official council duties as Leader.

Presumably the Fireman maintains that forking out for free tickets is the least the city council can do when its conscientious and hard-working Leader decides to break up his holiday by going to see a terribly tedious show somewhere in the middle of the desert and having to drag the missus with him (lah, eds)

Whether he has any evidence to support this bizarre assertion that it was all part of his official duties we do not know. Is it minuted? Does he have any non Lib Dim witnesses?

Nor do we know how many other freebies the Fireman has blagged while Leader of the city council - or whether this freebie show was unique.

And if this was the only freebie he has blagged, why this one?

We do know, however, that former Culture Company chief executive Jason Harborow had already twice travelled to Las Vegas to see the show and talk to Cirque du Soleil - once in the company of Clare McCogloose.

This was despite the fact that Cirque du Soleil had made it clear when first approached about bringing the show to Liverpool in 2008, that it could not physically be brought out of its home at the Mirage hotel in Las Vegas.

Quite what is the exact justification for Councillor Bradley and his wife getting free tickets to see the show a third time, is anyone's guess.

The Fireman certainly did not need to see the 'Love' show to assure himself of Cirque Du Soleil's professionalism and expertise.

That is beyond question.

Nor did he need to see The Beatles show to decide if it was suitable material for a Liverpool audience in Capital of Culture year.

That too is beyond question.

Nor is a decision to try and bring 'Love' to Liverpool something that he should or would have taken personally.

If such a thing had been possible, the decision would have been taken either by the Harbarrowboy and/or the Culture Company Board.

If Bradley wanted to know anything more about the show, he could simply have Googled the reviews and web sites from the safety of his home in Wavertree.

Why didn't he?

We have no information that he had any official meetings with Cirque Du Soleil representatives while in Las Vegas.

Did he? With whom? When? Where?

If he did not have any meetings with Cirque du Soleil while on 'official council business', why ever not?

Did he inform the chief executive of the city council of his free tickets?

Have they been declared in the register of Member's Interests?

Did any Culture Company official arrange or timetable this show?

How has the cost of these two tickets been met, precisely, by the Culture Company?

Who approved it and why?

What paperwork exists?

Did the Fireman report his in-depth 'findings' about 'Love' when he returned to Liverpool after seeing the show? Is this minuted? Is there a report? If not, why not?

WE THINK WE SHOULD BE TOLD THE ANSWERS TO THESE AND MANY MORE QUESTIONS.

Because unless and until these questions are satisfactorily answered, the suspicion will be that Councillor Bradley abused his position as Leader of the Council to gain an advantage - contrary to the Local Government Code of Conduct.

Some of his Lib Dim colleagues will no doubt say that the $204-$330 total cost is neither here nor there. (Why didn't Bradley pay for them then? eds) Especially when the city council is now £60million in the red and going cap in hand to the Government to be bailed out.

But it does indicate an arrogant, seemingly routine abuse of council taxpayer's money by the Lib Dim Leader of the council.

We do not believe an internal council investigation, along the lines of CoverUp's discredited Mathew Street 'probe', will be sufficient to allay justifiable public concern. Only an independent enquiry will do.

We also believe that the District Auditor should be asked to investigate.

It may be that another official complaint needs to be made to the Standards Board to allow a further investigation.

We await developments with interest.

But one thing is clear, the old Beatles song was wrong:

If you are Lib Dem Leader in Liverpool, money can buy you 'Love.'

Monday, February 18, 2008

SURELY NOT? JUST AS ONE STORM FADES, COULD LIGHTNING REALLY STRIKE AGAIN IN LIVERPOOL???????

AND AGAIN?

AND AGAIN????????

PERHAPS SOMEONE SHOULD CALL A FIREMAN????????

Sunday, February 17, 2008

LEAKED EMAIL NO 2: Oooooooeeer, Get her! "I DON'T NEED ADVICE ON THE CITY SOLICITOR'S POSITION - I AM PREJUDICED...."

THE STORY SO FAR:

Warren is not speaking to Colin, who is not speaking to him back. But Colin IS finally speaking to Dr David about LDL. Colin has also told Warren, in a leaked email, that he wants to appoint Chris, Peter and Richard (amongst others) to become Assistant Exec Directors of the bankrupt city council at a cost of about half a million quid. But Colin doesn't have any money left in the kitty cos it's all been spent on Culture, so a few low-grade staff may have to be sacked instead. Meanwhile Colin has warned all the LIb Dim Cabinet (who he IS just about still speaking to) that he is taking expensive legal advice on the appointment of the new City Solicitor because they all think the current hopeful incumbent, Ken Unworthy, aka the bald legal eagle, is a complete fuckwit and absolutely useless and shouldn't get the £100,000 job. Lib Dim Councillor Marilyn Fielding, one of Dr Dave's very many blonde female friends, has just read Colin's warning email over her Sunday breakfast and has, typically, hit the roof. She has reached for her £8,500 council computer - but it isn't working. So she picks up her blackberry instead. Now read on...)

-----Original Message-------

From: Fielding, Marilyn
To: Hilton, Colin (Chief Executive); Bradley, Warren (Leader of the City Council);/*Executive Directors
Cc: /*Executive Members
Sent: Sun Feb 03 11:48:54 2008
Subject: Re: Interim Appointments at Senior level

Dear All,

I will not be needing any advice either internal or external to advise me on my position regarding the solicitors position.

As you are well aware Colin I said in a meeting with you Phil Halsall and Warren Bradley that I would not appoint Mike Kenworthy to that position. I said at the time I made that statement that I was prejudiced and would not be able to take part in the interview

I have also told you about a conversation I had with an Ex Director (no doubt another cosy chat with Dr David McElhinney, chief executive of Liverpool Direct Limited and aka the hated rottweiller, eds) re this position so I am confident therefore by the comments in your email that prejudicial interest relates to officers as well as members.

Regards,

Cllr Fielding
Sent from My Blackberry Wireless Handheld

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

LEAKED: EMAILS BETWEEN BRADLEY AND HILTON - "LET'S HAVE MORE CHIEFS AND WE CAN SACK A FEW INDIANS..."

BELOW is an email exchange between the cowboy Fireman Bradley and Cover Up which has kindly been leaked to us.

It reveals the arrangements which the £60million-in-the-red city council is making to employ five new highly paid Assistant Executive Directors.

We don't know how much this little lot will cost, but we reckon in the region of half a million quid. A mere snip.

At the same time CoverUp warns of 'tensions' around the staffing levels of the plebs which will have to be 'carefully managed'.

(Basically he says 'we may have to sack some people because we ain't got any money and can't redeploy them or give them voluntary severance anymore', eds)

Of particular interest to loyal readers (and you are growing in number at a fantastic rate btw) are the arrangements to appoint a new £100,000 a year City Solicitor, a post currently occupied very badly by the bald legal eagle, Ken Unworthy.

CoverUp's stark warning to Bradley that certain councillors - no names, no pack drill - might be prejudiced about Unworthy and may need to be excluded from the appointment panel reveals the civil war which now exists between the ruling Lib Dims and senior officers (the off-spring of the cabal, eds)

CoverUp also reveals his plans to hire ruinously expensive legal advice to prevent the eventual appointment being legally challenged.

In other words, Hilton is hiring legal advice about a legal appointment which may be legally challenged by the bald legal eagle Unworthy if he doesn't get the job.

Still with us?

But it's nice to see a united team really working together on behalf of the people of Liverpool isn't it?

However, it is also of immense relief to see Cover Up and the rottweiller McElhinney are now having regular cosy chats about staffing matters. (Like putting a paedophile in charge of a nursery, eds)

The rottweiller McElhinney, who is now pulling more than £200,000 a year with Performance Related Pay, will be leading the charge to get rid of people.

However, Town Hall watchers will be fascinated at what the email exchange reveals about the relationship between Bradley and CoverUp.

Since Stilton Hilton refused to back Bradley's account of the Peroni meeting with Lee Forde, the pair have enjoyed a 'frosty' relationship.

More like ****king Siberia, we hear. The pair never speak and now only communicate on very formal terms. The Fireman is said to feel 'betrayed' and 'badly let down'.

But not half as betrayed and let down as Lee Forde feels, we wager.

For his part, Stilton Hilton has completely given up on the Fireman and now regards him as 'beneath contempt' and 'both childish and stupid' as he told his Executive Management Team recently.

At this juncture we shall make a daring forecast - we confidently believe that Bradley will have been forced to quit as Leader within the next month. We will treat you all to a night out if we are proved wrong. If we are right, the drinks will be on you!

Here's email exchange No 1....

------Original Message--------

From: Bradley, Warren (Leader of the City Council)
To: Hilton, Colin (Chief executive)
Cc : /*Executive Members
Sent: Sun Feb 03 09:27:43 2008

Subject: Interim appointments at senior level

Colin,

Following the information provided by you regarding interim appointments at AED level, can I have a definitive timescale on each post and whether the post is necessary?

Also can I have an update on the HR issues that have been raised on several occasions by individual EM’s, and what process is being implemented to remove our unease.

Thanks

Warren Bradley
Leader of Liverpool City Council

Sent from my Blackberry Wireless Handheld

-----Original Message--------
From Hilton, Colin (Chief Executive)
To: Bradley, Warren (Leader of the City Council); /*Executive Directors
Cc: /*Executive Members
Sent: Sun Feb 03 11:09:25 2008

Subject: Re: Interim appointments at Senior level

Certainly
AED Policy and Programmes- Richard Nutter will take over from Mark Kitts on 17th March
AED Community Safety- Agreed by panel last week to advertise on a one year secondment basis to citysafe partners
City Solicitor – Currently out to advert and with recruitment specialists Rockpools. Provisional panel date is 28th Feb. We will need to ensure the panel availability also takes consideration of any member who may be viewed as having a prejudicial interest in respect of any applicant. I shall be using external legal advice in this respect once applicants are known.
AED Sport Leisure and Libraries – Currently held by Chris Briggs. This will be considered in bringing forward proposals in May for the post 08 structure of the Authority.
AED Chief Executive - Currently held by Peter Cosgrove. This will be considered in bringing forward proposals in May for the post 08 structure of the Authority.

Critical considerations in respect of the last two posts will be the agreed priorities of the administration, decisions on commissioning, outsourcing and partnerships, decisions on the neighbourhood agenda, the legacy and cultural strategy and the medium term financial plan.

On Human Resources issues there is the general interface with LDL. David McElhinney and I have been meeting more regularly and embarked on a series of managerial actions to assist in better management of strategic and opertional (sic) matters. The single status and equal pay work is now better resourced and making progress.

Policy work has been prioritised to make the new Redeployment/VS/CR system effective and operational.

Sample case study reviews of matters raised particularly by Councillor Fielding eg the case involving employee YP have produced reports and recommendations leading to changes of practice where appropriate.

As I hope you will have seen particular high profile work eg Gladstone House has been thoroughly undertaken despite the attempts to portray a very different picture by the TUs although I am certain members were not naieve (sic) enough to take the statements made at Council at face value.

Finally I would point out that both the organisation and financial environment is different from a few years ago where large swathes of staff represented significant over manning, there was a tolerance capacity of hundreds of people permanently rotated on redeployment into wholly unsuitable positions and vs packages including enhancement were much more readily available. It is necessary now to be more robust but with less resource than before and this is going to produce tensions that will require careful management.

If there are specific issues continuing to cause concern at a policy level then I am only too happy to discuss them with the member concerned or through Peter as the responsible Executive Member.

Best regards

Colin Hilton
Chief Executive
Liverpool City Council
Liverpool, European Capital of Culture 2008

Sent from my Blackberry Wireless Handheld

COMING SOON: LEAK NO 2: Who says: 'I would not appoint Kenworthy'? Stay posted.......!

Friday, February 08, 2008

FOUND AT LAST !!!!! THE COWBOY FIREMAN ALONE ON CROSBY BEACH THIS MORNING....

Thursday, February 07, 2008

THE COWARDS WAY....

BOTH the cowardly cowboy, Fireman Bradley and cowardly Colin CoverUp were nowhere to be seen today.

Too frightened to stand in front of the cameras and defend their abysmal record of failure, they took refuge under their desks and behind closed doors.

This is the behaviour we have now sadly come to expect from the Lib Dim Leader of Liverpool city council and the £250,000 a year (plus Performance Related Pay) chief executive.

Fireman Bradley, who is getting his trade a bad name as each day passes, is not normally so reluctant to get his picture taken or to attempt to recite a semi-intelligible statement handed to him on a piece of paper by a spin doctor.

Bradley and Hilton have no integrity and no courage. They shame Liverpool.

From behind their Town Hall shields, they instead threw the smiling assassin Halsall out to face the world's press.

(We took some pleasure in this, since as Executive Director for Resources, Halsall bears much - but not all - of the responsibility for Liverpool's bottom of the league position, eds)

But displaying breathtaking arrogance and complacency, Hasitall contrived to make matters worse!

His litany of excuses and typically patronising attempt to rubbish the Audit Commission's official ratings formula, underlined how much Liverpool has to do to clean up its act.

Radio Merseyside's Roger Phillips sounded thoroughly non-plussed to find Hasitall in total denial.

The BBC's Gordon Burns looked genuinely gob-smacked as the slouching Hasitall gave the distinct impression that he was distinctly tired of all this silly nonsense.

The only voice of sanity came from the Audit Commission who may well now have lost patience with the city council and their willingess or ability to put things right.

We might see some movement here in the next few weeks.

For our part, we would strongly suggest that the decent and honourable course of action for the men who have caused this mess, would be to submit their resignations with immediate effect.

We know who they are.

You know who they are.

And thankfully, as each day passes, the people of Liverpool are beginning to know who they are.

NB: We still have Jase to look forward to on City Talk tomorrow morning. After our free plug the other day City decided to save a bit of dosh and reduce their full page advert to just a quarter page: "The gag's been lifted...let's talk".

But stand by for a load of self-justificatory tosh from the Harbarrowboy.

He too will fail to admit any responsibility or failure.

After all, it's part of the Job Description.

THE COWBOY RUNNING THE WORST COUNCIL IN THE COUNTRY....

WORST COUNCIL IN COUNTRY LATEST: FIREMAN RUNS FOR COVER

FIREMAN Bradley is refusing to give interviews about the city council being ranked the worst in the country. He has disappeared from view, completely. So too has every other member of the Lib Dim Executive Board. Colin CoverUp is also hiding under his desk. So that leaves Hasitall lined up for Roger Phillips's prog on Radio Merseyside - so perhaps the smiling assassin can take questions from the people of Liverpool about the shambles they have created in the last ten years? Christ knows who the city council are going to offer for interview to City Talk - probably Coco the Clown! Meanwhile click here for the Daily Post story. And we wait with bated breath to see the spin in tonight's Echo...

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

IT'S OFFICIAL: LIVERPOOL IS THE WORST COUNCIL IN THE COUNTRY!

Audit Commission officially ranks Liverpool city council bottom of the league

Council is the worst of 500 other local authorities in Britain

Fireman Bradley shown red card by watchdogs

CoverUp Hilton still to collect £250,000 a year

So too will incompetent Finance chief Hasitall

Echo to launch astonishing whitewash

LIVERPOOL city council has today been officially ranked bottom of the league table of 500 local authorities in Britain.

The verdict has been given by the Audit Commission in their Comprehensive Performance Assessment Annual Review.

The Review gives the city council - which pays the chief executive and Executive Directors the highest salaries in the country - just one star for its overall performance. The maximum is four stars.

The shameful rating comes just a week after the city council was also found to have the worst financial management in the country, thanks to Hasitall and Fireman Bradley's incompetence.

But already, under-siege chief executive Colin CoverUp has launched a desperate spin operation to try and limit the damage and protect his position.

By all accounts the craven Echo appears to have swallowed the spin hook, line and sinker and will trot out the line that, despite languishing firmly in the Vauxhall Conference relegation zone, the city council is still poised to become European Champions.

The Audit Commission's Annual Review is followed next week by its overall four-yearly CPA Report.

That will again give Liverpool city council two stars for its overall performance - no improvement on the previous rankings and still wedged in the bottom 25 per cent of local authorities.

Close observers of the Liverpool Town Hall scene will notice that after ten years in power, the Lib Dims have woefully failed to make any improvement in services - although they have dramatically improved the bank balances of a handfull of fat cats

After a disastrous and costly experiment, nothing has changed for the better for the people of Liverpool.

THE HARBARROWBOY GETS READY TO SING LIKE A CANARY!!!!

THE Harbarrowboy is to go public and sing like a canary in an exclusive radio interview with City Talk this Friday.

Jase is expected to use the opportunity to formally announce that he has submitted a complaint to the Standards Board against both Fireman Bradley and the Storeyteller.

And we certainly hope that he will dish the dirt and spill the beans on secret emails and text messages and phone calls and meetings and reports and all the usual stuff we have by now come to know and love.

For some reason this will be a sensation all over the news, radio and telly - even though Labour's Joe Anderson got in first with an official complaint about Bradley and Storey weeks ago.

However, we will not let that tiny detail spoil our enjoyment of all this as the political drama unfolds in the run-up to the local elections in May.

It is certainly a newsworthy item that the former chief executive of the Culture Company is officially complaining about the Leader and his Regeneration side-kick in Liverpool's year as European Capital of Culture.

(By the way, who can we complain to if we have a complaint about an officer of the council then? You guessed it - Cover Up! eds)

We also find it astonishing that both CoverUp Hilton and Hasitall, closely advised by Sir Diddy Henshaw on the dog and bone, have actively encouraged Jase to stick the knife into their political 'masters'.

And that the 'do nothing' chief exec and 'can't add up' finance chief did not insist on a 'gagging clause' in Jase's pay-off deal to stop him singing.

Looks as though the pair believe Bradley and Storey's days are now numbered and have decided to cut their losses and ditch them.

At which point we will only pause to congratulate the brave and principled former Events boss, Mr Lee Forde who did the decent thing and turned the bastards over for their attempted conspiracy to get 'poor Jase'.

It was he who started the ball rolling and, we suspect, it is he who will be the only one to emerge from this godawfulmessforLiverpool with his reputation intact and totally undamaged. If anything, his reputation has been enhanced!

Meanwhile we can exclusively reveal further details of the Harbarrowboy's appearance between 7-9am on Friday morning on City Talk's Phil Easton show. (Ridiculous free plug - but who gives a stuff? It promises to be a highly entertaining show, eds)

City Talk are so jubilant at their undoubted coup that they have had the brass neck to take out a full page advert in Thursday night's Echo.

The dead tree press look as though they may have caught a severe cold here, so watch out for some attempted 'spoilers' in the Echo and Post.

Radio Merseyside will pretend it is not a story, of course.

Quite what Jase will talk about for two solid hours - he is booked for the entire show - is anyone's guess.

But he did always fancy himself on t'radio and no doubt the bullshit will flow.

It certainly won't be Four More Years or Great Triumphs of My Time in Office.

Get set for: "I am really proud of all that I have achieved, its going to be a fantastic year, enjoyed every minute, Mathew St not my fault (obviously), Culture Company in fine fettle, bullying Bradley, secret meeting with Forde a disgrace, I did nothing wrong, CoverUp and Hasitall are my mates, proud to have made a difference to the people of Liverpool, did my bit, I have single-handedly changed Liverpool's image, anyone fancy a cornetto? etc, etc."

The usual bollocks in other words.

Stay tuned, folks!

You really couldn't make this stuff up....

Friday, February 01, 2008

EXPOSED: A TALE OF TWO CITIES - SPIN VERSUS SUBSTANCE

WE reproduce below, for your entertainment, the full text of the press release issued by Randy Newman on the sad occasion of the resignation of Jason Harborow, aka The Harbarrowboy.

It is a triumph of spin over substance worthy of serious study by students of the genre (he means us, eds).

So we have, therefore, provided our own translation. Enjoy.

"Jason Harborow, Chief Executive of Liverpool Culture Company, has announced today that he is stepping down from his post.

Translation: We have been forced to pay off the Harbarrowboy, because the Fireman Bradley’s stupid emails and secret meetings meant that Jase could take us to the cleaners for constructive dismissal with all the attendant disastrous publicity that would ensue from such a high profile case. And we couldn’t stand another round of ruinous headlines in our Culture year.

...He has successfully steered the Culture Company from its inception to readiness...
Translation: Jase has spent all his time feathering his own nest and looking after his own interests, by hopping from one job to another in his four years at the Fun Palace. He made sure that he never stayed in the same place long enough for the penny to drop that he couldn’t deliver a stamped addressed envelope if it killed him. (Which it very nearly did). Everyone agrees the Culture Company is utterly ramshackle, incompetent and hopeless and no-one has the foggiest idea where all the money has gone or what is supposed to be happening.

...of the Culture Company, including raising private sponsorship funding...
Translation: He couldn’t even do the job he was originally appointed to do – raise private sponsorship. The city council is still £5million adrift of the amount he promised to raise, no-one knows whether a penny in hard cash ever came in – it was always support ‘in kind’ which meant that we are now knee deep in crap Echo non-stories, Sayers pasties and sausage rolls, Ethel Austin undies and free legal advice for Jase from Hill Dickinson...

...and the delivery of the much acclaimed artistic programme for 08....
Translation: No one has acclaimed the artistic programme at all, except for us at the city council and the Echo. At least half of the population seem to be scratching their heads and wondering when something is going to happen, but we don’t give a toss about those oiks on the council estates, obviously. Most of the good stuff has been put together by our established cultural partners, but we have claimed all the credit and have managed to slap our 08 brand on everything that moves. Tee hee.

Mr Harborow said: “I have fulfilled my pledge to the people of Liverpool...
Translation: I have ripped you mugs off, big time. By the Christ, I have filled me boots with your dosh. Dick-heads. I am laughing all the way to the bank – and you have let me! Fantastic result.

...my job is done...
Translation: “I have spent the last six months on the sick and got full pay! That amounted to £100,000 in the bank for doing fuck all - except sit in the hacienda sucking ice lollies. I have achieved what I set out to do – bugger all. And since my sick pay was going to go down to half the amount, I thought I would jack it all in now and let my drinking mate Col pay me off with a handsome cheque.

...and it is time now for a new challenge”....
Translation: I am going to see Bradley off first of all, by submitting an official complaint to the Standards Board. Hasitall and Cover Up have been egging me on to do it for months and nothing would now give me greater pleasure than
to see Bradley barred from public office. Cheeky bastard. Who the fuck does he think he is? It’s us officers who run the council, not the morons like him who stand for election. With a bit of luck, I will come across as the innocent victim of it all. Even though I cocked up Mathew Street, everyone will forget all that when Bradley is led in chains down Dale Street. Then I am going to do a bit of consultancy to any other European cities who are gullible enough to pay any attention to a word I say and give me lots more lucre. I might do a bit of extra shopping in Chester, I have got some personal stuff to sort out and after that it will be a life of Riley back at the hacienda. But not Joe, obviously....

He is moving on to pursue new business interests and is to step down from his post at the end of the month...

Translation: We have no idea what he is going to do now and we don’t care, we just want to see the back of him PDQ.

He went on to say: "I have very much enjoyed my time in Liverpool...
Translation: This bloody city has been a fucking nightmare. First Finnegan sussed me out as a total fraud within weeks, but Henshaw thankfully got him out of the way for making sure the papers knew Henshaw wasn’t going to get his pension. Then Forde started kicking off about me cutting the Mathew Street budget and threatening people’s safety. What do I care about Scousers? But thank Christ Forde packed it in too. I had to laugh when Bradley had a go at him. It was priceless! If you ask me my recipe for success, I would say that I soon learnt not to stay in the same position for too long – so no-one cottoned on to what I was doing, until it was all too late. I have to say I learnt from the master - Sir Diddy. He taught me everything I knew. Must go for a coffee with him, next time I am in Manchester. I suppose I will end up paying as usual.

...It has been a tremendous challenge but we are there...
Translation: Thank Christ I am getting out of here before it all goes pear-shaped.

...2008 will be the beginning of the future for Liverpool and its entire people, and I am grateful that I was able to play a role in that...
Translation: This sounded really good when Randy read it to me over the phone, but now I have no idea what it means. I hope he doesn’t mean all that Creative Communities bollocks that the Scousers were obsessed with trying to promote. All those horrible unemployed people – trying to teach them about Culture was a bit like teaching Hasitall financial management. A hopeless case. They deserved being ripped off. Numb-skulls.

...Other personal business opportunities have opened up for me next year and I wish to concentrate my efforts on these...
Translation: I shall bullshit my way around the world.

...I have therefore taken the decision to leave now, confident that the programme for 2008 will make it the most successful Capital of Culture ever...
Translation: I am getting out of here sharpish, before people wise up. With my pockets full of dosh.

...I am leaving behind a strong organisation moving forwards into its delivery role..."
Translation: I have left it all in the hands of The Ego Our Lord Redmond, who just wants his name in the papers and nutters like McCogloose, who will just agree with the first person she hears. Half the staff are applying for other jobs like it is going out of fashion, the other half daren’t admit they work for the Culture Company for fear that it will ruin their reputations for life. The place is a total laughing stock. And I haven’t mentioned the money yet. But that’s your problem now, suckers!

Colin Hilton, Chief Executive of Liverpool City Council, said: “Jason has made a huge contribution to the city over the last four years in leading the team that has developed such a strong programme for 2008.

Translation: Am I really supposed to say this? Are you sure? I don’t know what the hell has been going on over there for the last four years. Where has all the money gone? No one has got a grip on it at all. Consultants kept on waltzing in and out as if they owned the place. They probably did, with all the money the city council was paying them. It wasn’t for me to interfere either. I am a council bureaucrat, I don’t do culture. I have no idea what the artistic programme is at all. But the brochure has lots of nice pictures in it. I just can’t be bothered to turn the pages. My mum seems to like it though.

...He brought flair and a commercial edge to our work....
Translation: Jase was great. He seemed to know lots of people in the private sector, which was obviously a very good thing, and he brought them in regularly to help us out with all kinds of things. They did an excellent job, by all accounts. One of these friends of Jase’s presented me with a nice grey fleece, which keeps me very warm, and also gave me a lovely wooly hat for my mum. Which was really very kind and thoughtful of him, I thought. They have done a fine job for Liverpool – just like BT and Liverpool Direct. It has been a real partnership. I am just waiting for a full report about what has been achieved.

...and will always be remembered for his enthusiasm and ability to engage the support of the most top level people across sport, government, the arts and other institutions.”

Translation: Jase was a terrific bullshitter. The Government ministers were so gullible it was incredible and they believed every word he said. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know who half these people are. I recognised a few faces from the telly though. One of them got a ticket for my mum to go and visit the House of Lords. She had a really nice day. Redmond went with her – he said something about going on a recce. The cultural lot/arty farty set were a piece of cake – they wouldn’t say boo to a goose, anyway. Even if Jase had pissed all over their chips.

Bryan Gray, Chairman of the Culture Company Board, said: "I would like to thank Jason for his contribution to the success of the Capital of Culture over the last few years.
Translation: I can’t believe I am saying this. Jesus, the things I have to do for these clods in Liverpool. Good job I have taken it over now, after I told that Fireman Fella what was what. He soon got the message. Pygmy.

...I am sure that everyone associated with the Liverpool Culture Company will join with me in sending best wishes to Jason for his future..."
Translation: I am not giving any radio interviews about this tosser. I would choke on these words.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

THE HARBARROWBOY DISAPPEARS INTO THE SUNSET WITH A QUARTER OF A MILLION - WILL HE KNIFE THE FIREMAN?

THE worst financially-run council in the country today gave £250,000 to the Harbarrowboy as a reward for failure.

(You couldn't make this up, eds)

Liverpool city council Chief Executive Colin CoverUp gave the go-ahead for the huge pay-off to the barrowboy who has spent the last five months on the sick and on full-pay at his hacienda in Spain.

His departure is due to be officially announced on Thursday - but will be front page in the Daily Post tomorrow.

Meanwhile, the Audit Commission today named Liverpool as the worst financially-managed local authority in England.

The city council is now at least £29million in the red after failing to properly budget for Liverpool, Capital of Culture 2008 - which was partly chief executive Jason Harborow's responsibility.

Jase went on the sick in September after cocking up Liverpool's world-famous Mathew Street Festival and forcing its cancellation.

Since then, Fireman Bradley has got into big trouble with the Standards Board for trying to lure former Events chief Lee Forde into a 'Peroni Plot' to oust the hated Jase.

Amazingly, Jase's mega pay-off of council taxpayers money does not include a 'gagging clause' preventing him from speaking out in the future.

Which has only increased speculation amongst The Tonys, that chief exec Hilton and his sidekick, the smiling assassin Hasitall (whose 'reputation' for financial management is now irretrievably destroyed) have deliberately left the way open for Jase to try and kill-off Bradley.

(What goes around, comes around, eds)

Firstly, Harbarrowboy could sell his story to the News of the Screws for millions (just a joke - but he could sell it to the Daily Post for a Sayers pastie, eds).

Secondly, Jase could also now join Joe Anderson and submit a formal complaint to the Standards Board about Bradley.

This time Bradley would be accused of bullying Jase and undermining his position by sending an email to Hilton demanding Jase's head on a plate.

Looks like the lazy Hilton and incompetent Hasitall have therefore decided to cut their losses with Bradley and have teed it up for Jase to have a go back.

Meanwhile we can exclusively reveal details of the joint statement issued by Our Lord Redmond and CoverUp to mark Jase's departure for a life of ice-cream cones back at the hacienda.

It goes something like this:

"Jase has made an invaluable contribution to the success of Capital of Culture, blah-blah, he has been instrumental in re-building Liverpool's reputation nationally and internationally, blah-blah, we couldn't have done it without his efforts, blah blah, effective and competent leadership skills, blah-blah, thanks to Jase we have now moved into delivery phase, blah-blah, no need for Jase anymore now that we have Our Lord in charge, blah-blah, wish Jase well in future ventures, blah-blah, sorry about dodgy ticker, blah-blah, city always be grateful for everything that he has done, blah-blah, lots of ice cream and feet-up now, blah-blah, ta-ra matey, blah-blah-hope you knife Bradley on way out, blah-blah".

In other words, Harborow was an overpaid used car salesman who was promoted way out of his depth and tried to bullshit his way through the Culture Company, banking on the Government coming to his rescue in the end and baling him out, but then he cocked up Mathew Street and it all went pear-shaped so publicly, that he had to go.

STOP PRESS: THE HARBARROWBOY HAS TODAY BEEN FINALLY PAID OFF - WITH £250,000 OF YOUR MONEY!!!!

More follows soon....

Thursday, January 24, 2008

FIREMAN BRADLEY BACKS DOWN AND ADMITS: "I LIED!!!"

Fireman Bradley has been forced to back down in his row with the Daily Post over their reporting of his secret meeting with Lee Forde.
By throwing in the towel, the ‘bang-to-rights’ fireman has virtually admitted: “I lied.”
Bradley told a meeting of Liverpool city council on December 12th that he had complained both to the editor of the Daily Post and the Press Complaints Commission over coverage of his extraordinary meeting with Mr Forde.
His Lib Dem colleagues gave him a standing ovation after an emotional tirade which conjured up visions of motherhood, apple pie and schoolboy footie teams.
But, we can now exclusively reveal, the fibbing fireman appears to have suffered some short term memory loss during his speech.
This is what he told the city council: “I have made a complaint to the Press Complaints Commission and the editor. If a retraction is not forth-coming, I will take it further.”
In fact, Councillor Bradley has not made a complaint to the PCC.
They have no record at all of any complaint from the fireman.
A spokesman for the PCC added: “The last complaint about the Liverpool Daily Post was in May 2007 – and that was nothing to do with councillors. We have had no complaint from Councillor Warren Bradley.”
Perhaps this was yet another porky that Bradley has told to try and save his neck?
But why does any of this matter? (Just wondering that? eds)
Because Bradley now appears to have accepted that he lied to the Daily Post when they first asked him about his secret rendezvous with Lee Forde (who he had hung out to dry over Mathew Street two days earlier.)
Let us recap.
When contacted by the Daily Post about the cloak and dagger meeting Bradley, as usual, blurted out the first thing that came into his head. He denied ever meeting Mr Forde.
The Daily Post has helpfully explained what happened:
‘Cllr Bradley was asked by our reporter about his meeting with Mr Forde, and replied: "Which meeting?"
Our reporter then told him that he was referring to a meeting at Cllr Bradley’s home on November 18. Cllr Bradley’s unambiguous response was: "I never had a meeting with him."’
Quite properly, the Daily Post reported that Bradley had at first denied the meeting. This was Lie Number 1.
The fireman only admitted the meeting had taken place later, when confronted with the email evidence and Mr Forde’s own sworn testimony.
Hot-headed Bradley, in a desperate attempt to then try and silence the Post, fired off two letters to the Editor threatening him with the Press Complaints Commission.
In a scene fresh out of Monty Python, Bradley found himself issuing a denial that he had issued a denial.
(It really doesn’t get much better than this, does it? You couldn’t make it up! eds)
Bradley’s PCC threat, we now learn, was totally bogus.
He has made no such complaint.
He daren’t - because he would lose and be left swinging in the wind.
And he committed a fourth lie by misleading the council that he had already submitted a complaint. When he hadn’t.
Perhaps someone should complain to the Standards Board?
What all this means is that Bradley now accepts that he lied to the DPost when he denied secretly meeting Mr Forde.
We shall return to Lies No 2 and 3…

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

WIRRAL EXCLUSIVE: PROF CHUCKLEBUTTY GIVES HIS VERDICT ON ADOBE ACROBATS, THE CUSTARD COMPANY AND RUDE VAN WINKLE...

By Jove! It's me Sir Diddy, here to celebrate with you.

Today, to mark this historic occasion, instead of my usual frivolity, I offer you a serious address, no not me house in Aigburth “Stillgrabbin” I’ve flogged that, although it still hurts that I couldn’t get at that 50pence piece that fell behind the old boiler, well Lady Diddy is hard to shift after a hard day at the factory knotting sausages.

Here Ladies and Cheltenham, on what should have been a special day for me, had I not been forced to retire on wealth grounds, is my speech to open the Capital of Custard.2008.

They wouldn’t let me make it on the night, even though it was though my glorious leadership that we won it.

Instead, the crowd got a few ramblings from the Anaemic Mermaid herself, Phyllis Redmond, the man who turned the custard company around, so they couldn’t see that he’d done nothing for five years.

“We did it,” he proclaimed!

Through a mouth that looks like somebody sat on a pasty.

“It’s like a scouse wedding!” So you’re all condemned to years of fighting and misery trying to pay for it.

What an inspiration!

Had I still been at the helm this is what you would have got at the Sir Diddy Arena (as it should have been called)

By Jove Missus, We did it!!!! It’s been like a scouse wedding here…..(hang on cut that bit Lady Diddy)

Yes, by Jove, Capital of Custard 2008.

Can you all see me at the back? What do you mean you can’t see me at the front? Can somebody get me a bigger box?

Welcome to Liverpool, the year in which Liverpool itself is the show!

After five years of the Custard Company using every opportunity to make a show of us, it has arrived at last. Here we are in a giant shed in the docks. Yes I know many of you have wanted to see me in the dock for a long time.

Did you all go on Friday?

What a spectacle it was on the steps of St David’s Hall. It left the crowd wanting more, you could here thousands of voices winding back down Lime Street saying over and over again “Is Da F**kin it?”

Nearly three million quid spent on that box of Bengo matches and the three rockets trading standards confiscated in November. Thirty-five minutes of quality entertainment and Pete Price.

Unfortunately the planned opening choral piece from the Grotty Cash Asbo Ensemble, singing my very own theme song, “Pick a pocket or two” had to be postponed when they were all arrested during rehearsals.

I have enlisted the help of renowned Liverpool lawyer and pothole expert, my old sparing partner, Sir Rex of the Hesperus to get the choir released. As you know, I will do anything for a tenor.

Did all enjoy the aerial artistes? That was a mistake you know.

Young Clara MeCogloose was showing Jasper Hottlebottle a sketched out proposal to have a Toxteth Riots sequence on the steps outside the hall, the custard company’s idea of how to engage communities, and Hottlebottle said could you do it with Adobe Acrobat.

So MeCogloose, who is a bit daft in one ear, promptly rushed off looking for some dozy acrobats. Well ladies and gentlemen the idea of the aerial acrobats clearly captured the imagination of the people of the city.

I was touched by the hundreds of requests by people asking to see me suspended from a rope as the main feature for the grand opening.

Unfortunately I suffer from Vertigo with Sagittarius, the Robbing Archer on the cusp. That’s why I can only go to grade 6 Cuban heels. Yes missus, otherwise I get Diddy Spells!
We have a spectacular show for you tonight!

Those of you who know me know that I am a great supporter of our wonderful Liverpool Phil. No not pasty face Redmond! The Philharmonic!

I understand that Arriva have given one of their finest conductors the night off to be here with us.

What’s his name again? Petroleum Jellyco..who? Vascular….Verysilly….Potato? I can’t read this… thought you had spell checked! Is it Raphael Benetton ? What happened to the other fella…Simon Throttle?

Anyway, they’ll be knocking out a few numbers later, including, from the Lib-Dem Book of Patriotic Songs, Land of Hopeless Storey and Rule Blog Ban Ya, along with old favourites, The Plight of the Bumbler Bradley and Amazing Gross Misconduct.

Later for the kids and the Leader, we have some cartoons. The Bugs Bunny Men, Pete Wylie Coyote, Sonia the Hedgehog, MacElhinney the Pooh (that’s a euphemism) The Wombats of Wimbledon, Foghorn Leggarty with his Rooster for Mayor campaign and of course the one and only Pingu Starr from The Arctic Monkees. He’ll be performing in his new singlet again plus the classic hit, “What would you do if I once sang in tune”

Pingu will be signing copies of his new release at the Arena later this evening and all next week in the Pound Shop on Breck Road. I hear Frankies Gone to Holly Oaks so they wont be here.
And despite attempts by a local politician to prevent Farm products being brought in to the Arena, following his experiences of foot in mouth, it has been agreed he will hide in the Ladies when they come on stage to perform their renowned anthrax, er anthem, “All the money’s gone”

There’s more, Ladies and gentlemen, by Jove an authentic voice of Liverpool youth, it says here, then he must have accidentally slipped by the Custard Company to be on stage here tonight, unless he’s the son of one of them, RudeVanWinkle will be performing his rap tribute to Liverpool 08…. here’s a short taster. Riuven is it?

“ Liverpool, it’s 08

you gonna pay for it mate

cos the guys with the purse

been nothin’ but a curse

now it’s here

and the beer

is sellin’ at a rate

that I cant afford a drink,

what I got to celebrate?

You had five years bro,

to plan and you fail

Wasting money you aint got,

you should be in Walton gaol

What you’ve done to the people,

will be done to you I hope

When you’re in the prison shower,

bendin’ down for da soap”

By Jove, Missus, cover the vicars ears, that brings tears to your eyes!

A very Rude Van Winkle.

Finally to say to you all, whatever this bunch of rogues and halfwits supposed to have been leading this have or have not done over the last five years, the hard working staff and ordinary decent Liverpool people involved at the front line of all this have been doing their best to make it a meaningful year beyond the earnings and egos of the incompetent bunch of self serving, self important, careerist money grabbing opportunists trying to claim the credit….well imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so thank you.

Many, if not most, of the events and highlights would have happened anyway but at least this year you might pop along to them and even enjoy them.

If you can get something out of it wonderful, personally, I can’t. all the big money has gone so I’m off back to my new adopted home away from Grotty Cash and back to Mirth of Tydfil in Wales.

Liverpool I left you and I always let you down.

So c’mon Liverpool, get down with D.Diddy and let’s party….sorry special free invitation only to Malmaisson.

No Scousers.

Yakkie Da Everybody Yakkie Da!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 2:29:00 AM

Sunday, January 13, 2008

POWER TO THE PEOPLE? OR A TALE OF TWO PHILS.....

'POWER TO THE PEOPLE' was the Lennon song which closed the Arena show on Saturday night.

Perhaps someone was encouraging the people of the city to rise up in Revolution (another Beatles song which got an airing, eds) to overthrow the city father's who have wasted millions of pounds of the people's money?

Or perhaps not, eh?

The £50-a-ticket, £15-a-programme Arena show for 10,000 people was ten times better than Friday's so-called People's Launch of Liverpool Capital of Culture 2008, (which attracted 35,000 according to the police. And to which the Echo has added another 15,000, for some reason best known to the Editor, eds).

Unlike Friday, the Arena show engaged people and included them, even if the people were, largely, those who could afford it, the great and the good, the insiders, the bullshitters and the
usual suspects.

Ringo's new single was still an utter embarrassment (although he was refreshingly direct and honest in his pre-match press conference, eds).

The Farm brought real life, energy and enthusiasm to proceedings - "It's Saturday night, get up will ya" - the audience were ordered, and dutifully obeyed.

Connie Lush belted out a couple of numbers with pizzaz. The Christians were good too.

The acrobats were hardly Cirque Du Soleil, but were absolutely fine.

And Pete Wylie was, well.... Pete Wylie. (Although irritatingly, we have been singing Heart as Big as Liverpool all day, eds)

The undoubted stars of the show, however, were the Phil, who were absolutely stunning throughout.

Trapped in their Celebrity Squares, they showed consummate professionalism in coping with all the hiccups, pregnant pauses and fluffed beginnings.

The suitably dynamic Vasily Petrenko had total control and was marginally even more impressive than the live-wire signers at the side of the stage.

So well done to the Phil.

The other Phil - Our Lord - wandered on stage at the end to grab his share of the limelight and burnish his ego.

There was absolutely no need for his appearance, but appear he did.

Apart from shouting "We did it" (exactly what has been your precise contribution, Redmond? Aside from hogging headlines in the Echo with stories that never happen and using 2008 as the perfect antidote to the boredom and mid-life ennui caused by your multi-millionaire lifestyle, 15 cars and 35-acre home in Tarporley? eds) Redmond lounged about on stage, mouthed total gibberish (get a speech writer for your Mayoral bid, eds) and introduced his mates.

Fireman Bradley looked on disconsolately.

The Arena show had no cohesive narrative whatsoever, was spectacularly disjointed at times, didn't pay real justice to the Liverpool Irish connection, the Chinese community or the war years; treated the 100 children like serfs (why weren't they allowed on stage for 'All Together Now'? eds) and failed to showcase the full range and diversity of Liverpool's Culture.

But as an earlier correspondent noted, the show was 'alright'. It wasn't a disaster. And it engaged the audience.

It was not mind-bogglingly spectacular, breathtaking or world-beating.

But it was ok.

And after years of CoC cock-ups, mistakes and blunders from the half-wits in charge, just being OK it seems, will now do.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: CAUGHT IN THE ACT! HARBOROW AND HILTON AT THE AFTERSHOW PARTY - THICK AS THIEVES (which is about right really, eds)

OUR exclusive picture reveals Jason Harborow, Chief Executive of the Liverpool Culture Company (and currently on sick leave apparently, eds) carousing with Colin Hilton, Chief Eecutive of Liverpool city council, which is in negotiations with solicitors to pay-off the Harbarrowboy with £250,000 of council taxpayers money.
The happy couple were snapped by one of our supporters at last night's after-show party at the Empire to celebrate the launch of Liverpool, Capital of Culture, 2008.
(We apologise for the poor quality - but would also like to unreservedly praise our brave and intrepid cameraman for having the bottle to snatch these two in the act, eds)
Both men laughed and joked as they downed the free beer and wine which flowed (they had to pay for spirits at the bar so they opted for the free stuff instead, eds)
The Harbarrowboy also spent some time locked in conversation with the smiling assassin Hasitall (Mr Phil Halsall, Executive Director) who controls the city council's purse strings and has so far allowed the council to chalk up £29 million of debts, mainly because of Jason's incompetence.
Who invited Jase is not clear. Who allowed him into the party is also not clear. But he obviously appears, to coin a phrase, to have "friends in high places."
His presence has already caused minor ructions, however.
(Thank Christ someone at least understands what is proper behaviour and what is totally improper behaviour, eds)
Councillor Marilyn Fielding, who has a deserved reputation as the rottweiller McElhinney's tame poodle, has surprisingly objected in the strongest possible terms and has emailed her Lib Dem colleague's with a tirade against the Harbarrowboy, demanding heads should roll because of his presence.
So she is obviously not completely beyond redemption.
But nothing of course will happen and CoverUp will no doubt mumble the usual bureacratic bollocks to any councillors who attempts to challenge both his personal and professional behaviour, integrity and honesty.

CAPTION COMPETITION:

Readers are invited to supply the best caption to our exclusive photo....

Friday, January 11, 2008

IS THAT IT........?

WE went with high hopes - but left with huge disappointment.
Tonight's opening was typical of the Culture Company's top down approach.
A massive crowd turned up expecting a great show.
But none of us were engaged.
There was no singalong to any recognisable Liverpool 'anthem'.
No dancing. No terrace chants. No humour.
No emotional engagement with what is being done in our name, with our money, in our city.
Instead we were presented with a generally uninspiring, unfocussed, unintelligible series of set piece scenes.
It was cold and flat and, sadly, a bit dull.
It has also cost the city a fortune.
Ringo's appearance was a cynical attempt to cash in on the year - and promote his new single. Incredibly, the unknown MC told us, without a trace of Scouse irony, that Ringo's single was "on sale on Monday."
People in the crowd shuffled their feet with embarrassment.
As the patient and passive spectators were showered with confetti, one wag near us commented loudly: "That's council taxpayer's money."
The sound was crap, the fireworks flat and the music, too often, a lifeless thrash.
St George's Hall, as ever, looked wonderful.
People started leaving after 30 minutes.
By the end, most of us were dying to get off to the pub and drown our disappointment.
We have no doubt that the people of Liverpool will make the most of 2008.
But on the evidence of this damp squib, it will be in spite of the city council and the Culture Company and the hangers-on and the bullshitters - not because of them.
We will say no more, except to record the fact that Jason Harborow had the utterly astonishing cheek to turn up at the after show party at the Empire where he spent most of the time the time drinking with Hasitall and Colin CoverUp. No doubt negotiating his pay-off. We will post a picture soon.
We leave any further comment on what should have been an historic and celebratory night to you, the people of Liverpool. Feel free.
This is Liverpool, European Capital of Culture 2008.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

"THEY KNOW PEOPLE HIGH UP IN THE COUNCIL", SAYS CLUB OWNER. "DON'T LET THIS EMBARRASS ME," SAYS WORRIED JASE: EMAIL SHOCK NO 3 - WIRRAL EXCLUSIVE....

The story so far: The city council's Head of Sport, Chris Briggs is abusing his position to try and get his son's band SIRENZ, a gig at the Mathew St Festival in 2006. He has already pressurised Events staff to no avail and has turned his attention to Jason Harborow, Chief Executive of the Culture Company. The Harbarrowboy has ordered Events staff to find SIRENZ a place (helping his bid to become Executive Director for Culture Meda and Sport). Meanwhile Events boss Lee Forde has returned from holiday to find SIRENZ have jumped the queue and got round all independent judging procedures. Now read on:

-----Original Message-----

From: Forde, Lee

Sent: 13 June 2006 10:24

To: Harborow, Jason

Subject: RE: Mathew Street Festival / Sons Band SIRENZ

Jason,

Can we pls discuss this.

Lee Forde
General Manager of Events

Liverpool Culture Company

-----Original Message-----

From: Harborow, Jason

Sent: 13 June 2006 11:27

To: Forde, Lee

Subject: RE: Mathew Street Festival / Sons Band SIRENZ

Lee

I understand it is sorted now, but we can

Jason Harborow

Chief Executive

Liverpool Culture Company

-----Original Message-----

From: Forde, Lee <Lee.Forde@liverpool.gov.uk>

To: Harborow, Jason <Jason.Harborow@liverpool.gov.uk>

Sent: Fri Jun 16 15:30:25 2006

Subject: FW: FW: Mathew Street Music Festival 2006 - Kuki

Jason,

Please see e-mail below ref Chris Brigs son's band and the message that isgetting out.

P.S. after pressure from Chris we have given them a very good slot.

Cheers

-----Original Message---------------

From: Whitehead, Susan

Sent: 16 June 2006 14:53

To: Forde, Lee

Subject: FW: FW: Mathew Street Music Festival 2006 - Kuki

Lee

Please see email below from Tony Butler.

It could potentially be very damaging.

Thanks

Sue

Susan Whitehead

Liverpool Culture Company

-----Original Message------

From: Tony Butler @ The Zanzibar Club [mailto:anthony.butler@btconnect.com]

Sent: 16 June 2006 12:08

To: Whitehead, Susan

Subject: Re: FW: Mathew Street Music Festival 2006 - Kuki

Siren phoned me this morning, apparently they know people high up in the council ! thats how they got on.

Lets just hope they dont start telling everyone how they managed to get on.

Citizen Tony

-----Original Message-----

From: Harborow, Jason

Sent: 17 June 2006 18:43

To: Forde, Lee

Cc: Green, Chris; Newman, Paul

Subject: Re: FW: Mathew Street Music Festival 2006 - Kuki

Lee

Pls manage this carefully.

Don't allow it to embarass me

Jas

Jason Harborow

Chief Executive

Liverpool Culture Company

------Original Message---

From: Briggs, Chris

Sent: 29 August 2006 17:01

To: Forde, Lee; Whitehead, Susan; Blakeman, Kirstie

Cc: Harborow, Jason

Subject: Mathew St Festival / SIRENZ

Lee, Susan, Kirstie

Just a note to thank you for arranging things on Sunday.

SIRENZ went on at 12.15 and I think gave a good performance. In fact Janice Long said some nice things about them and has invited them onto her Radio 2 show, details to be finalised.

Thanks again I really do appreciatite it.

Also congratulations on the festival as a whole it clearly was a great success

Regards

Chris

Chris Briggs

Head of Sport & Recreation

(So that's alright then, eds. SIRENZ went around openly boasting that their highly placed relatives in the council had got them an important gig. The corrupt Harbarrowboy was promoted to Executive Director, after abusing his position and forcing staff to fix it. Briggs was promoted to Assistant Executive Director after abusing his position by wielding his influence improperly and pressurising staff. And Lee Forde - the only official to have objected - was subsequently forced to quit! Just another everday story of corrupt officials, a corrupt council and weak and stupid Lib Dems, who watched powerless. Colin CoverUp has been told all this of course - but has done nothing. Obviously.)

Monday, January 07, 2008

WIRRAL EXCLUSIVE: EMAIL SHOCK NO 2: 'GIGS FOR THE BOYS', OR THE HARBARROWBOY FIXES IT FOR BRIGGS...

THE STORY SO FAR:

It is 2006.

City Council Head of Sport, Chris Briggs is trying to get his son's band, SIRENZ a gig at the Mathew Street Festival in the summer.

He has already emailed the Capital of Culture Events Team several times, pushing for the band to be handed a top slot.

But so far, he has got no joy. An independent panel of judges is deciding which bands are to appear. SIRENZ have been sidelined.

Now Mr Briggs decides to pull rank and go over the heads of the Events Team.

He decides to drop Jason Harborow a line at the Culture Company.

Surely Jason can fix it for Briggs?

The Harbarrowboy is meanwhile trying to get the job of Executive Director for Culture, Media & Sport with the city council. When his CoC contract comes to an end after 2008, he can slip into another well-paid sinecure. This is the 'bigger picture'.

It would help his chances if he could ensure that Briggs, a potential rival for the post of Exec Director and a close associate of Council Leader Warren Bradley, owed him a favour or two.

Now read on...

-----Original Message-----

From: Briggs, Chris

Sent: 20 April 2006 15:33

To: Harborow, Jason

Subject: Mathew Street Festival

Jason

See below the dialogue I have been having with Kirsty Blakeman. My sons group is call "SIRENS" They are a Merseyside band of 5 in their early 20's . They have played gigs at the ZanziBar, Bar Fly , The Magnet and many more, they have also had their songs played by Billy Butler of his Friday afternoon show.

They are all very good musicians, write their own songs, are very good live performers and would be an ideal local band for the festival.

Thanks for your help on this

Regards

Chris

Chris Briggs
Head of Sport & Recreation

-----Original Message-----

From: Harborow, Jason

Sent: 25 April 2006 12:16

To: Briggs, Chris

Subject: RE: Mathew Street Festival

Chris

I have undertaken some discreet investigation. The groups will be selected by a peer group, the team have all the info they need.

I hope your sons group are selected

Jas

Jason Harborow

Chief Executive

Liverpool Culture Company

-----Original Message-----

From: Briggs, Chris

Sent: 07 June 2006 09:57

To: Harborow, Jason

Subject: Mathew Street Festival / Sons Band SIRENZ

Jason

Did you listen to the CD I gave you ?

I havnt had any feed back yet from the team about if my sons band SIRENZhave been selected to play.

I understand there are other stages being put up one of which is in Crosby Village. As a Crosby band they would be more than happy to play there.

Any chance ??

This is their web site with 3 sample songs playing. http://www.myspace.com/soundofsirenz

I can imagine how busy you are but I would really appreciate you and/or Lee's help on this.

Any chance

Regards

Chris

Chris Briggs

Head of Sport & Recreation

-----Original Message-----

From: Harborow, Jason

Sent: 07 June 2006 10:35

To: Forde, Lee

Cc: Blakeman, Kirstie

Subject: FW: Mathew Street Festival / Sons Band SIRENZ

Lee

I really need this to happen due to bigger picture issues.

Please can you find a slot for them and let me know.

Cheers

Jas

Jason Harborow

Chief Executive

COMING SOON: PART 3 'DON'T LET THIS EMBARRASS ME' - THE HARBARROWBOY.

Labour MPs slam unholy Trinity Mirror over birth of Oldham Echo

Six Merseyside MPs have tabled a parliamentary motion calling on Trinity Mirror to stop the “haemorrhaging” of jobs from its offices in Liverpool.
It follows the announcement last month that 43 journalists were to be axed from the Liverpool Post and Echo.
In September more than 100 jobs were lost from the city when printing of the papers was moved to Oldham.
Cynics have now started referring to the Echo as 'The Oldham Echo.'
The Labour MPs who have tabled the Early Day Motion – a type of parliamentary petition – are Peter Kilfoyle (Liverpool Walton), Geroge Howarth (Knowsley North and Sefton East), Frank Field (Birkenhead), Edward O’Hara (Knowsley South), Ben Chapman (Wirral South), and Claire Curtis-Thomas (Crosby).
Read the full text of the motion.
MPs from all over the UK can support the EDM - certainly more Merseyside MPs should be encouraged to sign up.
Please find your MP and ask them to sign.

So if he is not Pete price, who is he?

PETE Price is not Pete Price, according to the Oldham Echo.
That is the sensational news revealed tonight by a man posing as the popular talk show host with City-Talk-but-no-one-listens.
Apparently, the Echo columnist is actually a total phoney. A fake. A charlatan. A rogue. A complete ****ing imposter!
Who would have thought it?
We hope this means that the Echo will now discontinue the phoney Mr Price's crap column forthwith.
If they want to fill the space they could give it to the real Pete Price and his excellent blog at http://peteprice967.blogspot.com/. Or Chucklebutty.
Tho we doubt whether either would ever be quite as funny as the Fake Pete Price.

Letting the Kat out of the bag....

Meanwhile in the Dale Street bunker, Colin CoverUp is trying to work out how to appoint a new team of bureaucrats to replace those that have scarpered with huge pay-offs.
High on his list of priorities, given the worst council in the country's 'wonderful' public image, is the £75,000-a year post of Director of Communications.
Head-hunters have been appointed to trawl for suitable candidates, but it appears that CoverUp could have avoided the ruinous extra cost of the interminable appointments procedure.
He has already let it be known that he reckons the successfull candidate can be found close to home.
Step forward Kathryn Smith, head of Internal Communications with the city council, who CoverUp has earmarked for the role.
Ms Smith is best known for her slavish loyalty to the dreaded rottweiller Dr David McElhinney and her unquestioning sycophancy to Sir Diddy.
She regularly produced astonishing 'motherhood and apple pie' tributes to the evil rottweiller and the greedy and corrupt Sir Diddy in the pages of Council People - the city council's staff magazine.
She has spent the last few months faffing about doing various obscure things with the Culture Company - which has obviously produced a noticeable upsurge in positive perceptions of the Capital of Cock Ups.
Quite how she will cope with the Oldham Echo is anyone's guess.
Nor can she be said to enjoy the full confidence of other communications colleagues who have long suspected her of being the 'spy in the camp' for the rottweiller.
Meanwhile the Lib Dims are scouring the country for a sympatyhiser who will accept their poisoned chalice.
Candidates were actively lobbying the Fireman during the Lib Dim conference, although admittedly their enthusiasm appeared to be directly related to their proximity to the bar and the lateness of the hour.
A battle royal (what, another one? eds) could erupt between supporters of Cover Up's chosen one and the Lib Dim favoured candidate.
But look forward to plumes of grey smoke from the MO building in the very near future as Ms Smith emerges promising a bright new dawn for the city council.
You read it here first...

Sign the No 10 petition for an independent investigation into the city council and LDL

A PETITION has been started on the No 10 Downing Street website calling for an independent investigation into the worst council in the country, LDL, etc, etc.
You can sign the petition here Go On, What Harm Can It Do - May As Well Let the Bastards Know That Some of Us Object To Their Actions.
You can read about the petition here too......
Liverpool City Council has been officially cited as the worst Local Authority in the country.
They are £62,000,000.00 in debt and that debt is rising.
Successive audits have shown significant failings in financial management.
A recent report from KPMG made thirty-seven recommendations regarding the contract with Liverpool Direct Limited.
It is imperative for the people of Liverpool that an impartial investigation be carried out by an incorruptible body accountable to Parliament.
The National Audit Office is the only organisation which has the authority to carry out a wide ranging, detailed and impartial investigation into the financial management of Liverpool and more specifically the relationship between the Local Authority and the companies Liverpool Direct Limited and Liverpool Schools Services Limited.
We therefore petition the Prime Minister to instruct Tim Burr - on behalf of Parliament - to send an investigation team to Liverpool with full powers to access and inspect any and all records and interview any and all persons whom they may deem necessary and to grant any persons giving evidence protection under the Public Interest Disclosure Act.

FIREMAN BRADLEY LIED TO RADIO MERSEYSIDE LISTENERS (AGAIN)

Fireman Bradley lied to BBC Radio Merseyside listeners about the Lib Dem's closure of Leighton Dene and Boaler St old folks homes.
That's according to the independent Commission for Social Care Inspection - and Tony Hunter, the city council's own Director of Social Services!
The Fireman was being questioned on the wireless by Roger Phillips about his city council's closure of the centres, which provide respite care for the victims of dementia and Alzheimers.
To try and justify these digraceful closures, Bradley told Phillips: "Probably 90 per cent of local authorities in the country still don't provide that sort of care and it was highlighted via the inspectors that Liverpool maybe shouldn't be doing this as part of the core business."
Labour MP Jane Kennedy wrote to the Commission for Social Care Inspection to ask if they had suggested - or made any comment at all either in writing or verbally - about Liverpool city council not providing such care in their inspection reports, known as Performance Assessment Notebooks.
Er............. no, came back the reply from Chief Inspector Paul Snell.
Or to be more specific:
"I can confirm that there is no evidence in either the council's Performance Asessment Notebook or any other performance related correpondence we hold that supports any such comments having been made.
"The Business Relationship Manager for Liverpool is adamant that such comments have not been made verbally or in writing," he added.
Then Mr Snell helpfully volunteered the following: "We have also contacted the Director of Adult Social Services (the aforementioned Mr Hunter) for Liverpool City Council, who has confirmed our understanding."
It appears therefore, that even one of Colin CoverUp's overpaid army of bureaucrats didn't have the brass neck to try and dig Bradley out of the hole he had dug for himself.
So, under the relentless Paxman-like Radio Merseyside questioning, fireman Bradley (typically) opted to lie about the views of an independent Inspectorate - in a desperate attempt to try and justify the Lib Dem closures of Boaler St and Leighton Dene.
Cowardly hypocrite.

Lorna departs with £45,000 in her handbag - after costing Liverpool half a million

FORMER BBC producer Lorna Dickinson has been told to clear her desk at the Capital of Culture Fun Palace after failing to deliver anything for the Sir Paul McCartney concert.
But, true to form for all CoC failures, she is being paid off to the tune of £45,000 of council taxpayers money.
That's on top of the more than a half a million quid that she has cost Liverpool for pissing about for the last 18 months.
Dickinson was the genius behind the now legendary Salthouse Dock scheme (Liverpool Subculture, passim) which cost council taxpayers £330,000.
Then of course, there is the £100,000 a year in consultancy fees which she has been slipping into her purse for holding a series of interminable meetings and twiddling her thumbs doing, frankly, fuck all.
So now she has been put forward as Hon.Pres of the Fuck Up and Fuck Off Brigade (proposed: Sir David Henshaw, seconded: The Harbarrowboy).
Dickinson has been unceremoniously given two weeks to tidy her desk and try to account for the dozens of transatlantic flights, champagne lunches and dinners which she treated herself to in her globe-trotting quest to take the piss out of Liverpool.
The cot of this is already rumoured to be in the region of £80,000.
Shame that the penny only dropped with CoverUp after her profligacy was finally exposed by the Liverpool Subculture blog.
(Some minion brings CoverUp regular print-outs).
Interstingly, her former colleagues at the Beeb appear to be trying to fight a rearguard action in her defence, claiming that she was given the push for blowing the whistle on the Culture Company's transatlantic junketing.
As if.....

The Curse of Culture........

As European Capital of Culture 2008, this is Liverpool's most important year for a generation, goes the oft-repeated spin.
So have you noticed how many senior people/fat cats are departing before 2008 is out and all the glossy brochures have even been sent for recycling?
Do they all know something we don't?
Has the Titanic already hit the iceberg?
Or is it something more sinister?
Let us examine the evidence.....
Drummond BoneHead, Chair of the Culture Company - leaving Liverpool in June.
Jason Harbarrowboy, chief executive of the Culture Company - forced to quit in January.
Loyd Grossman, Chairman of National Museums and Galleries - leaving in June after a fall-out with the irredeemably boring Museums boss, David Fleming.
Sue Woodward, former Deputy Chair of the Culture Company - resigned from Granada TV after being kicked off the Culture Board by a typically ungrateful Our Lord Redmond and quietly-spoken Bryan Gray.
Mick Elliott, Chief Executive of the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic and pocketing £60,000 for working two days a week at the Culture Company - resigned to go to the DCMS.
Not to mention Robbing Archer, Sir Diddy, Chris Green.
(You said you wouldn't mention them, eds)
Why have all these people, who have all been so prominently associated with Capital of Culture 2008, ended their Scouse sojourns so prematurely?
This is getting spooky....
Could it possibly be......
The Curse of Culture??
And if so, who will be next to fall victim to The Grim Reaper?
Dare we suggest it might be Fireman Bradley?

FIREMAN'S INTERVIEW WITH ROGER PHILLIPS, AFTER COUNCIL RANKED THE WORST FINANCIALLY RUN

Roger: This is not a good report for us is it Warren?
Fireman:Well Roger we’ve got to put it into perspective really haven’t we and remember where Liverpool was and that’s not thinking back 10 years. Liverpool has come an awful long way. The people of Liverpool were asking for lower Council Tax and the Liberal Democrats have delivered that and they also wanted better services and you look at the services that are now delivered by Liverpool City Council. If we look at the most vulnerable either elderly or the Children’s Services the social care we are now delivering at a level that Liverpool has never delivered before. We also look at the bread and butter your schools, your sports centres, your libraries, One Stop Shops in communities, our parks, we’ve got 13 green flag parks. It’s like a new home to me when you get an old dilapidated derelict building you’ve got to bring it up to a standard and I think Liverpool City Council under the Liberal Democrats have certainly done that and I am certain if we did a survey of people in the City do you want Liverpool City Council to sit on £20m worth of reserves or do you want the City Council delivering front line services that affect the most vulnerable and people’s lives in the City. I think that they would vote with their feet and say that we support the policies of Liverpool City Council. We’ve got to look at the financial regulations put in by Government and if you want my opinion about this Roger it is purely political.
Roger: Well come on, you know the Audit Commission is not a political body
Fireman: Well with respect Roger and I would beg to differ on that
Roger: Well how can it be a political, it’s an independent organisation?
Fireman: We can say everything is independent to a certain extent but you know you look at what we’ve got at the moment in Liverpool and we’re delivering top quality services.
Roger: But the problem with this is that you’ve got an overall score rating of 2 which was adequate performance into 05, overall score in 06 was 2 which is adequate performance.
This year it is down to 1 below minimum requirements inadequate performance.
Fireman: Based around financial regulations…
Roger: Yes I’m talking about the financial…..
Fireman: Laid down by government. I mean that’s what you’ve got to remember. Don’t try and muddy the waters and say oh this is about Liverpool City Council and their overall performance. It’s not. You look at the issue that we’ve done about achievements. Liverpool scoring 3-4 on achievement at the moment through the Audit Commission.
Roger: I didn’t know that.
(EDs: Pitiful, just pitiful.)
Fireman: And we do seem to always go to the negatives when we’re looking for something like this.
Roger: The District Auditor was pretty negative about you wasn’t he and…
Fireman: No, I have got to say Roger I would love to have £50m in reserves. I would also love not to have to put additions of £7m into adult social care and £2-3m into children’s social care. The facts are we have got to do that because of the pressures that are on Liverpool at the moment.
Roger: So are other Councils….
Fireman: I’m not willing as Leader of this Council to take away care to the most vulnerable to allow it to sit in reserve. I am not willing to do that and I will go to the stake on that the people of the City. Liverpool now is only one of a handful of Councils up and down the country that is providing moderate care to the most vulnerable people in the City. Now to give people an idea of what moderate care is that is home care. These people who’ve got no family to support them and require a visit in the morning or a visit in the evening to make sure they’re ok to help them to take the pills, to make sure that they’ve got the food. Most Councils up and down this country have removed that care. Liverpool City Council is still allowing our most vulnerable people our sort of care. Now is that wrong, is that wrong?
Roger: Now no one would argue that’s wrong but everyone. But many people are affected by housing. Housing is really poor isn’t it. I mean you are so poor you’ve had to hand it over to a different group to run it.
Fireman: Well with respect Roger, with respect, you’ve got to know what the Housing Corporation have done and in partnership with the Government again it’s easy to say it’s the Council, in partnership with the Government we’ve tackled head on through the Pathfinder areas of the inner core of the City some of the housing inefficiencies of the City. That hasn’t happened over the last five years that’s happened over 30 or 40 years. The problems in Norris Green in housing were prevalent 30 or 40 years ago and weren’t tackled. As an Authority we’ve challenged what wasn’t tackled and we’ve challenged it head on and I opened a couple of weeks ago with Flo Clucas and Marilyn Fielding with Cobalt Housing the first phase of Norris Green. We’ve transformed that area and its got houses for sale and social housing in Norris Green that people are seeking to live in now. We’ve got in a core Edge Hill, Kensington, Kirkdale the same issues that have been there for 30 or 40 years that we’re tackling now hand in hand with the Government. I’m not taking the credit for it and the Government isn’t. We’ve got a schools’ programme that is second to none. Liverpool’s young people are now achieving at the national average. I want it higher than national average to give new opportunity but again I’ll say I’m not going to suit accountants’ financial regulations in London and leave £millions sitting in reserve while we have still got the challenges Liverpool has got and I think people you know.
Roger: Do you think it was a mistake to keep Council Tax down or freeze it over the past few years?
Fireman: Well isn’t it ironic Roger how last week John Healey said how Liverpool is charging £101 a head...
Roger: Because its inefficiencies….
Fireman: Well we have taken £150m worth of inefficiencies out of our budget over the last 10 years. We’ve kept Council tax down which is exactly what Government policy is and is exactly what John Healey is saying. Councillor Joe Anderson is saying something completely different to the people of Liverpool that he will put taxes up to build reserves to put in reserve well again this administration this Lib Dem administration is not going to tax for the sake of taxing to leave money sitting in reserve. We will build up the reserves over a period of years and then we will be able to tackle some of the other issues that we’ve got to do. We recognise the health inequalities. To improve health inequalities we’ve got to have a real stable economy offering real opportunity and raising the aspirations in them poorer communities. You cannot do that leaving millions and millions of pounds laying in reserves and this administration will continue the robust financial management that we’ve done. We’ll carry on delivering…
Roger: If it was that robust we wouldn’t have this problem of £20m overdrawn on Capital of Culture.
Fireman: Roger, lets put things into hindsight. We are still delivering front line services. We are still…
Roger: It’s about £20m overall that we’re short this year – now that’s not robust management
Fireman: But Roger we are going through a budget setting process. Every Local Authority up and down the country is in the same process as us. I remember reading about Wirral being £50m short. Other Local Authorities. I meet the core city leaders who are £40-£50m short exactly the same as Liverpool . And let’s not forget I haven’t come on here to knock the Government I’ve come on here to say that I believe we’ve got a robust financial programme in place that is going to deal with the shortfall. We’ve delivered year on year but I’ll say again I am not going to allow millions and millions of pounds to lay in reserve. Cut front line services to the most vulnerable and then say that’s acceptable. Nor as Leader of this Council am I going to allow Council Tax to go through the roof again which will drive the inability to bring further investment into this City. While the Lib Dems have been in control we’ve brought Council Tax down, we’ve brought renewed confidence and we’ve brought real investment that will bring opportunities to the most vulnerable and I think that is the most important and I think the people of this City will stand full square with us on that. I’m proud of what we’ve delivered in this City over the last 10 years and Capital of Culture is part of that."
AND NOT A WORD ABOUT THE BARROWBOY'S PAY-OFF...

Robyn Archer - AN APOLOGY

In a previous post by Tony Parrish in 2006, it was claimed that the Liverpool Culture Company's former Artistic Director, Robyn Archer had left the company and returned to Australia with an £80,000 pay-off.
We now accept that this report was untrue.
We would like to withdraw the post on behalf of Mr Parrish and apologise unreservedly to Ms Archer for any embarrassment that was caused to her personally or any damage caused to her reputation.
We would also like to offer our sincere apologies to both the Liverpool Culture Company and Liverpool city council for publishing an inaccurate report on our web log and for implying that they would be careless or reckless with council taxpayers money.
We have been asked to make clear that, in fact, the pay-off to Ms Archer was substantially more than £80,000.
She was, in fact, paid off to the end of her contract in 2008.
This means that she was given £150,000 for 2007 and £150,000 for 2008.
To this should also be added £75,000 - half her annual salary of £150,000 for the remainder of 2006.
We would therefore like to make clear that Ms Archer in fact pocketed £375,000 from the council taxpayers of Liverpool.
We apologise for any embarrassment caused by our original mistake.

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT AND WORKERS CONTROL: WE HAVE TAKEN OVER TONY"S BLOG

Tony's Parrishioners have now taken over the Liverpool subCulture blog after persuading TP that the Mathew Street debacle was just cause for re-emergence.
Our aim will be to toughen up his rather mealy-mouthed and polite critiscisms with some proper full-blooded attacks.
We will expose even more of the evil doings of the cabalists, Colin 'Cover Up' and the Harbarrowboy's s band of incompetent dick-heads and divvies.
And we shall ensure the lousy Lib Dems who have let them get away with ripping off the people of Liverpool and taking the piss out of the city, do not escape.
THEY HAVE BEEN WARNED....

WANTED! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?

THE PEOPLE"S BLOG - BANNED BY THE CITY COUNCIL

Liverpool city council has banned council employees from accessing this blog on their work computers. Worse than that, they have also prevented the people of Liverpool - who pay the council's wages - from accessing this blog on computers in public libraries or in One Stop Shops.
But our voice will not be silenced.
We will not be gagged.
Nor will we be prevented from exposing the corruption, double dealing and rotteness at the heart of the city council and its offspring - the Liverpool Culture Company.

Letter from Colin CoverUp to city council employees following recent press reports

ARISE SIR PHIL! - A knighthood for Our Lord Redmond

LIB DEMS ON TRIAL (PART 2) - "You realised you had been rumbled...."

LIB DEMS ON TRIAL (PART 1) - ROTTEN TO THE CORE ....(courtesy of the Daily Post)

Hasitall should be forced to repay the half a million quid to council taxpayers

Tony's Parrishioners

NEW SERIES: Our Lord Redmond writes exclusively for Liverpool SubCulture

Subscribe to subCulture

Well done - you're sacked!!!!!

Forget Foghorn Leggatty and Our Lord Redmond - there can be only one choice for Elected Mayor!!!!!

Twigger is the last to twig that the postman doesn't ring twice

SALTHOUSE DOCK: A PUBLIC APOLOGY

We got it wrong....

OUR LORD REDMOND'S FAVOURITE BENCH - MILLIONS TAKE PART IN EXCLUSIVE ECHO PHONE VOTE

Labels

BENCHMARK? A PAIN IN THE ARSE FROM OUR LORD REDMOND....

Do you wish to see serious disciplinary action taken by the Lib Dem city council against Jason Harborow and AED Chris Briggs over fixing the appearance of SIRENZ at the 2006 Mathew Street Festival?

PART 4 OF LEE FORDE"S DOSSIER - THE FIREMAN GETS AN UPDATE, BUT DOES NOTHING

THE "FUCK UP AND FUCK OFF" BRIGADE - AND HOW MUCH THEY COST COUNCIL TAXPAYERS

LIVERPOOL DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS - by LEE FORDE

CAST OF CHARACTERS

INTERNATIONAL NEWS! BUENOS DIAS SENOR!!!!

HENSHAW ESCAPES.....

HEADLINE HIGHLIGHTS FOR 2008 - the best stories about 2008. Click on your favourite headline....

HENSHAW THE HYPOCRITE DOES A RUNNER - AFTER BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE FOR LIVERPOOL...

Uncertain? Isolated? Not a friend in the world?

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Friday, February 22, 2008

Monday, February 18, 2008

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Friday, February 08, 2008

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Friday, February 01, 2008

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Friday, January 11, 2008

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Monday, January 07, 2008

How the council use Ripa to spy on you....

Random Photos

Labour MPs slam unholy Trinity Mirror over birth of Oldham Echo

Storey for Lord Mayor? The nation votes....

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So if he is not Pete price, who is he?

The best blogs for Liverpool

Letting the Kat out of the bag....

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Bradley lies to worried old people

FIREMAN BRADLEY LIED TO RADIO MERSEYSIDE LISTENERS (AGAIN)

Labour goes on-line to kick out the Lib Dims

VOTE ON THE NEXT LIB DIM LEADER

Click below to see Labour's ON-LINE CAMPAIGN against the Lib Dims

Lorna departs with £45,000 in her handbag - after costing Liverpool half a million

The Curse of Culture........

FIREMAN'S INTERVIEW WITH ROGER PHILLIPS, AFTER COUNCIL RANKED THE WORST FINANCIALLY RUN

WIRRAL EXCLUSIVE: Due to public demand, Professor Chucklebutty now has his very own blog!

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Robyn Archer - AN APOLOGY

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT AND WORKERS CONTROL: WE HAVE TAKEN OVER TONY"S BLOG

COUNT DOWN TO JAN 20, 2009

HOPE FOR AMERICA

Don"t let the evil cabal and their accomplices get away with it...

WANTED! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?

Tony Parrish 2008

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