Thursday, December 28, 2006

THE OFFICIAL TONY PARRISH AWARDS FOR 2006


THE OFFICIAL TONY PARRISH AWARDS 2006




Special Award Certificates are on their way to the lucky winners, as we speak....



1) HYPOCRITE OF THE YEAR

THE WINNER IS:

The smiling assassin Phil Halsall for threatening Tony Parrish with the Information Commissioner (he quaked in his boots! ed). TP had published 'personal information' about Halsall on the evil cabal blog - ie, that Halsall's son Liam had appeared with his band 'Abe' at the Summer Pops thanks to Halsall's mate, millionaire pop promoter Chas Cole, etc, etc. Readers will remember that Halsall was the hypocritical Henshaw lackey who published Storey and Finnegan's emails!

Other 'hypocrite' nominations:

Councillor Richard Marbrow. For being Inspector Clueless.










Colin 'Cover Up' Hilton, for turning a blind eye to the cabal's corruption over Liverpool Direct, The 08 Place, The Summer Pops, Harbarrowboy lobbying for Chas Cole, etc, etc.

The entire Lib Dem group (with the honourable exception of Councillor Jan Clein) for paying tribute and thanks to Henshaw on his belated retirement. (I bet they regret it now, ed)


Councillor Richard Kemp - for calling for the censorship of the evil cabal blog and supporting Henshaw, while having the brass neck to still describe himself as a liberal.



2) McELHINNEY'S BLONDE OF THE YEAR (sponsored by BT)

THE WINNER IS:




Boris Johnson (for being the most attractive blonde of them all)











Other nominations:

McElhinney's close colleague and friend, Sarah Parr (obviously)













McElhinney's close colleague and friend, Louise Gray (obviously)


McElhinney's close colleague and friend, (and dupe, ed) (obviously), Councillor Marilyn Fielding






McElhinney's Head of Human Resources, Colette Hannay (obviously)

3) QUOTE OF THE YEAR

THE WINNER IS:

Jane Kennedy MP for saying about Henshaw:"He is a man in whom I have no confidence and for whom I have no respect".

Other nominations:

Joe Anderson about Robbing Archer's Australian 'cultural' appointments: "The only Australian missing is Skippy the bush kangaroo."

Mike Storey to Matt Finnegan: "Don't worry, whatever happens, we won't let you down."

Matt Finnegan's attack on Henshaw and the city council: "I was suspended 18 months ago after obeying the wishes of the elected Leader of the Council. My only ‘offence’ was to obey democracy. For that, I have been subjected to a campaign of appalling victimisation...it has been a vicious, shameful little episode in the city council’s history. "

Warren Bradley: "Every allegation on the evil cabal blog was, of course, 100 per cent true."

Henshaw's repeated question to senior council officers: "How do you think I am doing?"

4) SHORTLIVED FRONT PAGE AWARD (sponsored by The Echo)
























5) THE 'WITH FRIENDS LIKE THIS,WHO NEEDS ENEMIES...?' AWARD


Henshaw and Storey












The Cabinet







The Harbarrowboy, Bradley and Henshaw







The Harbarrowboy and the American bullshitter, Kris Donaldson








The Culture Company apologists...





NUS President Jack Straw, the young Henshaw (who is still desperately trying to hide the fact that he got his degree at a mere Polytechnic) and some obscure stuffed shirt.










Macca and Heather
5) Greatest contribution to Information Technology

The winner is: (obviously)



The liverpoolevilcabal blog



Highly commended:

Councillor Joe Anderson for exposing the Liverpool Direct scandal of McElhinney's astronomical computer charges









Booby prize: Colin 'Cover Up' for stupidly sending the wrong email to Labour councillor Rose Bailey








Not nominated by anyone: Liverpool Direct








6) THE BLOODSUCKING LEECHES OF LIVERPOOL AWARD

The joint winners (and extremely clear winners obviously, ed) a
re:


Henshaw and McElhinney


Run
ners-up:





Robbing Archer








Dracula








6) PICTURE OF THE YEAR

The winner is:



The picture of Halsall's son Liam (pictured in stripy shirt second left) and his band 'Abe' with Status Quo at the Summer Pops. This was the picture which when it appeared on the blog, infuriated and worried Halsall so much that he was described by one council observer as 'a dead man walking'.








This was the picture of Robbing Archer and Greedy Henshaw that brought the funniest captions from readers on the evil cabal blog.






And we just like this one.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

BANNED AGAIN! Culture Company spin chief gives blog order of the boot!

CULTURE company spin king Paul Newman (also known as 'the invisible man', ed) has banned the blog again!
The move follows the city council's ban on the liverpoolevilcabal blog earlier this year, which badly backfired when it created huge national interest.
Not one to learn from such past mistakes, Newman has now ordered his news staff, under threat of disciplinary action, to stop sending us Culture Company press releases.
So while Newman is perfectly content to keep the Daily Mail, Express, Star, Sun and other national journals of ill-repute fed with Culture Company bollocks (which they all blissfully ignore anyway, ed) he has drawn the line at the Liverpool subculture blog.
"He doesn't like what you are saying about the company," explained one insider, "so he says that from now on you can get your information from elsewhere. We have been told we will be suspended if we send stuff out to you."
Quite how Newman justifies this selective distribution of public information (surely you mean Culture Company mallarkey? ed) is anyone's guess.
Perhaps a friendly councillor might have the temerity or the bottle to ask him the question. After all Newman is a public servant, publicly accountable, spending public money on public information. Or not, as the case may be.
Newman, the Director Of Communications, (we're not kidding, ed) has distinguished himself at the Culture Company by being indistinguishable from the wallpaper and by his willingness to say 'yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir' to anyone who cares to listen.
The loud critiscism of the Culture Company's failure to communicate anything decent, has been deafening. But Newman has so far escaped all responsibility. (Probably because no-one knows he exists or what he does, ed)
Apparently, our Christmas quiz was the source of much unhappiness inside the Fun Palace at Millennium House (and we thought this was the season to be jolly, ed) together with our affectionate and oft-repeated nickname for Jason the Harbarrowboy.
News officer Mike Doran had originally put us on the Culture Company's email list (thanks Mike, ed) but then the alarm was raised when Newman saw our site.
We were instantly removed from the list and told never to darken the Culture Company's doorstep ever again.
So as a result, we are going to slink off into a corner, lick our wounds and start to praise the Harbarrowboy and all who sail with him aboard the Titanic. Either that or we will be forced to cease production of this site entirely.
Only kidding. (He's had a few too many sherries with his mince pies folks, ed)
But you will be glad to learn that we do still have some loyal and kind friends amongst those who the Culture Company has deemed suitable to receive its words of wisdom.
They are happily forwarding on to us every press release, as soon as it is issued by Newman's loyal staff. So no harm done.
Not that we pay much attention to what is written, but, you will understand, its the principle of the thing, isn't it?
For when did official censorship become one of the Culture Company's 08 responsibilities?

How the council use Ripa to spy on you....

Random Photos