Tuesday, December 19, 2006

BANNED AGAIN! Culture Company spin chief gives blog order of the boot!

CULTURE company spin king Paul Newman (also known as 'the invisible man', ed) has banned the blog again!
The move follows the city council's ban on the liverpoolevilcabal blog earlier this year, which badly backfired when it created huge national interest.
Not one to learn from such past mistakes, Newman has now ordered his news staff, under threat of disciplinary action, to stop sending us Culture Company press releases.
So while Newman is perfectly content to keep the Daily Mail, Express, Star, Sun and other national journals of ill-repute fed with Culture Company bollocks (which they all blissfully ignore anyway, ed) he has drawn the line at the Liverpool subculture blog.
"He doesn't like what you are saying about the company," explained one insider, "so he says that from now on you can get your information from elsewhere. We have been told we will be suspended if we send stuff out to you."
Quite how Newman justifies this selective distribution of public information (surely you mean Culture Company mallarkey? ed) is anyone's guess.
Perhaps a friendly councillor might have the temerity or the bottle to ask him the question. After all Newman is a public servant, publicly accountable, spending public money on public information. Or not, as the case may be.
Newman, the Director Of Communications, (we're not kidding, ed) has distinguished himself at the Culture Company by being indistinguishable from the wallpaper and by his willingness to say 'yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir' to anyone who cares to listen.
The loud critiscism of the Culture Company's failure to communicate anything decent, has been deafening. But Newman has so far escaped all responsibility. (Probably because no-one knows he exists or what he does, ed)
Apparently, our Christmas quiz was the source of much unhappiness inside the Fun Palace at Millennium House (and we thought this was the season to be jolly, ed) together with our affectionate and oft-repeated nickname for Jason the Harbarrowboy.
News officer Mike Doran had originally put us on the Culture Company's email list (thanks Mike, ed) but then the alarm was raised when Newman saw our site.
We were instantly removed from the list and told never to darken the Culture Company's doorstep ever again.
So as a result, we are going to slink off into a corner, lick our wounds and start to praise the Harbarrowboy and all who sail with him aboard the Titanic. Either that or we will be forced to cease production of this site entirely.
Only kidding. (He's had a few too many sherries with his mince pies folks, ed)
But you will be glad to learn that we do still have some loyal and kind friends amongst those who the Culture Company has deemed suitable to receive its words of wisdom.
They are happily forwarding on to us every press release, as soon as it is issued by Newman's loyal staff. So no harm done.
Not that we pay much attention to what is written, but, you will understand, its the principle of the thing, isn't it?
For when did official censorship become one of the Culture Company's 08 responsibilities?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good on you Tony.

Anonymous said...

i doubt whether a light has ever gone off inside Newman's head. Although the resemblance is striking.

Anonymous said...

Hooray for the insiders and long may they continue to give fruit to Tony Parish our great hope!

Milton said...

I think Hilton's honeymoon period is now well and truly over judging by the car park fiasco and the ban on school buses. I bet Warren really regrets giving him the job now...

Tori Blare said...

Paul Newman should go back to making spaghetti sauce!

Tony's little helper said...

May he continue to ban the blog, the more he does it the more publicity the blog gets and highlights just how thick these so called leaders of Liverpool are.
Keep on blogging, spread the word far and wide to all you can think of.
If they make a fuss?
You know you are doing well and winding the idiiots up.
Shove em all in the shit shelter.

How the council use Ripa to spy on you....

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