Monday, September 01, 2008

Gordon steps in to spare Halsall's blushes...

PRIME Minister Gordon Brown has stepped in to spare the blushes of the smiling assassin Hasitall as he fights to save his failing reputation.

Some impish person, with a mischievous sense of humour (who could that possibly be? eds), appended Halsall's signature to the excellent petition currently on the No 10 Downing Street web site, calling for an independent investigation into the city council's finances.

Readers will recall that the Lib Dim city council was branded by the Audit Commission as the worst council in the country for its lack of financial stewardship, ably masterminded for the last nine years by the smiling assassin.

No sooner had Phil Halsall's name appeared on the petition than it was spotted by panic-stricken minions in the City Treasurer's department.

They urgently tracked down the £230,000-a-year (plus Performance Related Pay) smiling assassin on the golf course where he was swinging the lead, (shouldn't he be slinging his hook? eds).

Hasitall went ballistic, seeing the jape as all part of the civil war with Colin CoverUp and a further attempt to discredit him (are any MORE attempts needed? eds).

Hasitall immediately contacted the bald legal eagle Ken Unworthy, a close ally in his fight with Cover Up, to demand immediate action.

Emails were soon winging their way to the hard-pressed web master at No 10, demanding that Downing Street immediately remove Halsall's name from the petition.

There followed lengthy legal exchanges between the worst council in the country and No 10 - including threats of a High Court injunction - all carried out at an unknown cost to the taxpayer.

Halsall, renowned for his Daily Torygraph reading habits, also had the cheek to consult Unison, to intercede on his behalf.

Hasitall even went to see his mate Chas to see if he could help out by offering to throw a fund-raising gig for Gordon.

Finally, Colin Cover Up was reluctantly forced to intervene and write to No 10 vouching for the hated Halsall's bona fides.

(Oh, the ignomy, the ignomy, eds)

Eventually, No 10 relented and agreed to remove Halsall's name from the petition, allowing him to return to the golf course with his reputation, er, intact.


Any suggestion that Gordon is now considering bringing in Hasitall to aid his besieged Chancellor, is, of course, entirely without foundation.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

If only we could remove his name from the council payroll as easily

Fireman Bradley said...

It was me that put his name down on the petition...

Cover Up said...

Actually it was me...

Councillor Steve Hurst said...

No it was me...

Coiuncillor Keith Turner said...

It was me, honestly

Councillor Paul Clein said...

Stop mucking about - it was me. I could't stand him playing with his effing blackberry all the time and his eyes rolling about in his head whenever he listened to a councillor speak.

Councillor Laurence Sidorczuk said...

It might have been me. I dunno.

The Storeyteller said...

It certainly wasn't me...

Sir Diddy said...

Oh yes, it was...

Richard 'arch hypocrite' Kemp said...

It could have been me...(oops, sorry - thought you were talking about something else...)

Flo Clueless said...

His job will be safe with me when I take over in a few months...

Joe Anderson said...

I was going to say that...

Phil Halsall said...

It was me, I thought it would be funny?
What's the problem with that?
I really do think I am shit at my job.

Anonymous said...

i signed that petition and my name never appeared on it either

Spartacus said...

I'm Phil Halsall!

Lib Dem sympathiser said...

I hope everyone now realises that with Halsall on his way out with a massive pay-off and the vultures circling around McElhinney, Matt Finnegan is very close to finally getting what he has always wanted - the destruction of the evil cabal. Better late than never. Now will the blog disappear?

Anonymous said...

So the "local" Liverpool newspapers are to be printed in Greater Manchester? Terrible.

http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2008/09/05/new-printing-plans-for-the-daily-post-64375-21679211/

nil desperandum said...

This blog shouldn't disappear - not while the LibDims who appointed the 'Evil Cabal' remain in office.

Anonymous said...

Now that weve all stopped buying the Craven hecho how will we get any news if the blog closes down?

Anonymous said...

In case anyone is interested, the Cabinet Office's 'official' response to a Freedom of Information Act request about this matter can be found here:

http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/phil_halsall

Based on my past dealings with the Cabinet Office, I can't see that they would change their position following a request for internal review somehow...

How the council use Ripa to spy on you....

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