Monday, October 29, 2007

MONEY FOR NOTHING AND YOUR KICKS FOR FREE - I WANT MY MTV, SAY THE FIREMAN, DONALD BULLSHITTER AND COVER UP!!!

A UNIQUE trio will be making a special guest appearance at the MTV music awards in Munich later this week.

Fireman Bradley, Donald Bullshitter and Colin CoverUp will all be jetting off to Germany at council taxpayer's expense.

They will be getting on down with the kids and listening to the likes of ace rapper Snoop Dogg, who is hosting Europe's biggest music show, the MTV awards ceremony.



The Liverpool trio will be paying special attention no doubt as Snoop "will bring some unique ‘DoggyStyle’ as he guides us all through the night’s awards," according to the MTV web site.

Amongst the stars appearing at the Munich Olympiahalle will be the Foo Fighters and Mika (a Donald Bullshitter favourite, eds) with awards presented by Joss Stone, Wyclef Jean and Michael Stipe amongst others.

Bradley, Bullshitter and CoverUp will no doubt spare a thought amidst all the showbiz glamour and excitement for poor old Jase the Harbarrowboy, who has been left forlorn and forgotten at his Spanish hacienda.

Sad Jase was one of the main movers behind bringing the MTV show to Liverpool next year (he was going to do his George Formby act, eds)

What the precise role of the Fireman, Bullshitter and Coverup is in Munich, or how much it will cost the city's council taxpayers is anyone's guess.

But no doubt they will enjoy their brief spell away from the cares of the council's £22million budget crisis.

Any suggestion that they are to get star billing in Munich as Liverpool's very own 'trio of toss-pots' is without any substance.

Astonishly, however, one Liverpool figure will be noticeably missing from the all-star Liverpool line-up as they are being wined, dined and tucked up overnight in a five star hotel.

Step forward Gordon Ross, the Culture Company's very own Music Co-ordinator.

Mr Ross, who has spent an awful long time planning the MTV awards in Liverpool next year, was due to travel to Germany to see the show at first hand.

That would of course, have been a perfectly legitimate business trip, because as Music co-ordinator he would have helped ensure that Liverpool was the perfect host for the MTV music show in 2008.

(Editor's interjection: It would have been even better of course, if the Culture Company had this year also sponsored a musically-talented Liverpool teenager to experience the thrill of their lives in Munich as a reward for being one of our good young citizens. But, of course, none of the Culture Company crackpots had the whit to think of anything as creative, inventive or deserving as that.)


But instead Mr Ross was surprisingly informed that his services would no longer be required at the MTV awards and that Donald Bullshitter would be accompanying the Fireman and CoverUp instead.


Mr Ross, who has a mere PHd in music, will instead be left minding the shop at the Fun Palace - still, never mind, he will be able to watch the show on his telly.


You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried, could you?


Some further questions for readers to consider...

  • Does anyone who is alive out there think this disgraceful nonsense is now getting just a little bit beyond a joke?

  • What possible justification is there for chief bureaucrat CoverUp's attendance at a pop music show?

  • Why has the Bullshitter, infamous for his karaoke performances, shoved the only musically qualified member of the Culture Company's staff out of the way?

  • Does the Fireman hold the people of Liverpool in absolute and total contempt?

  • How much is all this costing council taxpayers?
  • Will any member of the Mersey meeja try to hold any of these bastards to public account?

  • And most astonishing of all, why hasn't the great grey hope Redmundo blagged a place on the junket for himself, where he could preen his huge ego?

  • Or is he washing his hair on Thursday?

11 comments:

Gob-smacked and angry said...

You couldn't make it up, honestly. Another fantastic exclusive Tonys, you are wasted here. But we love you for it.

snoop dog said...

poor old Ross replaced by the dross
Wherever theres a jolly step up the wally(s)

Anonymous said...

Great story

Tori Blare said...

Maybe The Fireman is going to promote his you tube fire man sam movie????

Mike Strutter said...

I'd say it was council tax well spent, as long as they don't come back.

P.s. If they are staying in a hotel near the Brandenberg Gate it'll be a fair expenses bill to Munich...

Tony Parrish47 said...

Good point. Never been!

scribe said...

yep. fantastic story.

Anonymous said...

"What possible justification is there for chief bureaucrat CoverUp's attendance at a pop music show?"

I shall be watching my telly eagerly to se if coverup and the fireman can be seen 'amending' any paperwork whilst at the ceremony.

I bet our Jase is sick as a parrot at not getting onto this freebie.

Hang on a minute, he is sick isn't he?

Anonymous said...

Is Chas going?

Anonymous said...

If Chas is there, Hasitall must be going too?!

Laurence said...

well i tell you something for nothing Tony me old mucker, you keep on managing to beat the combined efforts of Trinity Mirror and the BBC and Radio City to the news, with apparently very little effort or problem. The latest example being the coverage about MTV coming to Liverpool. As my missus said to me as we were watching the six oclock news tonigth : "Ere Laurence, call themselves reporters! That MTV story was on Tony's blog the other night. And the Beeb aren't even mentioning the three soft dick heads going on the freebie to Munich." I couldn't have put it better myself. How much did it take to put this blog together - for nothing? All it takes is a little bit of passion, a bit of commitment and a nose for news and off you jolly well go. The Echo and Beeb must be sick of missing stuff. I wonder what excuses they offer up? He must be a friend of Bradleys? Or Cover Ups? or Jase's? Surely not. Perhaps he is just a friend of the truth, eh? Anyway, they will start to slag you off soon because they are being made to look like twats by the blog. They are so far behind and out of touch it must be making those journalism students at JMU cringe... Keep going my man. Right is on your side.

How the council use Ripa to spy on you....

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