Sunday, August 05, 2007

TONY'S BLOG UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT: PITY THE CULTURE COMPANY ISN'T!

Dear loyal readers,

We have missed you.

That's why we have persuaded the legendary Tony Parrish (alive and well and living in clover, somewhere across the water, surrounded by a bevy of gorgeous followers catering to his every whim, ed) to hand over his blog to his fans (that's us, ed) so that we can carry on his good work.

And there has been no better time for a new, tougher, more uncompromising broom to sweep through Liverpool subculture than now - when the dunderheads at the Culture Company appear to have finally gone bonkers/insane/committed hara kiri - by cancelling the Mathew Street festival.

As we speak, our favourite organ, the Echo is launching a last ditch bid to hold Europe's biggest outdoor music festival (what about Glastonbury? ed) in a pub somewhere off Old Hall Street.

Our current council leader Warren Bradley has flown back from the Canary Islands, muttering "crisis, what crisis" under his breath and has also revealed his own personal 'no booze' rescue plan to save the festival.

At any moment, we are expecting Gordon Brown to divert his attention from boring foot and mouth disease and form a four piece combo with Blair, Prescott and Campbell called "the Spinners" to make a guest appearance in someone's back yard in Kensington and save the Festival.

Oh what fun we are having.

What is clear from this monumental cock-up is that the remnants of the cabal are still in control of Culture.

Bradley has allowed them to take control without the slightest effort at holding them to account.

Arrogant, unaccountable, undemocratic and a law unto themselves, Colin Cover Up and The Harbarrowboy appear to have decided amongst themselves to cancel the Mathew Street Festival.

Just like that. ("Or it could be like that" - Tommy Cooper)


Warren Bradley has professed total ignorance (no surprise there then, ed).

Which makes us wonder why anybody would want to vote Liberal Democract ever again when their leader doesn't have a clue what is going on in the city.

What's the point in voting for him then?

It seems we would be better off abolishing inconvenient elections all together and just letting Cover Up and his band of incompetents run the show forever (and award themselves huge pay rises every month, no doubt, ed)

In the meantime, Liverpool will be left to become even more of a music hall joke, scores of businesses will go to the wall, thousands of visitors will be left with nothing to do and the city will lose one of its genuinely international events.

Whats more, hard-faced Harbarrowboy and Hilton appear to have been a bit surprised by the universal outrage which has greeted their bungling decision.

Which shows how lacking in judgment they are and how little they understand the city of Liverpool.

It's a bit like the Town Clerk of Rio de Janeiro cancelling Mardi Gras and being a bit surprised that people have got just a teentsy weentsy bit upset.

What cast-iron fools we have in charge of our city.

Bradley should resign - the Mathew Street debacle happened on his watch. Professing ignorance compounds his error.

As the senior politician he must take full responsibility.

But before he goes, he should demand the resignations of both Harbarrowboy and Hilton who are complicit in the worst Public Relations disaster for Liverpool since Degsy decided to become a full-time member of the Tendency.

They are clearly incompetent and out of their depth. Their arrogance in thinking that they could get away with such a decision is typical of the cabalist rule.

They treat the people of Liverpool with utter contempt and have no respect for the city's culture, its history or how it is viewed by the outside world.
That is the only conclusion to be drawn from what Bradley himself has admitted is 'a fiasco' which now appears to be the subject of a full-scale, sadly not independent, investigation.
Even the Echo agrees and certainly the people of Liverpool must be in despair at this monumental cultural cock-up.

Time for a clear-out and a clean-up.

And time we had politicians in charge who could get a firm grip of the shower of greedy wasters at the Culture Company and the city council (preferably around the neck, ed). No one would notice any difference if the Harbarrowboy was sacked.

Either that or we could always get Warren to give Chas Cole a ring and see if he can save the day ?

Perhaps we can hold the Mathew Street Festival in Sefton, instead?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(What do you think of that for a first effort then? Not bad, though I think we could have been a bit more direct and uncompromising. Yeah, I know, i pulled a few punches didn't I? Never mind, you will get the hang of it before too long - - and there will obviously be lots more opportunities to have a go. That's true. Do you think Bradley will really sack Harbarrow? No chance, if he did he would be admitting he was in charge of a catastrophe - they will all hang on to their jobs and we will lurch on to another crisis. Suppose your right....)

COMING SOON:

REVEALED: THE HARBARROWBOY'S SECRET PROPERTY BUSINESS IN SPAIN or

"Why I go missing every Friday and have such a fetching tan" or

"No wonder the Culture Company is in such a mess when the guy in charge fucks off to the sunshine every weekend to pursue other private business interests...." (allegedly, ed)
ps you can get in touch with us at tonysparrishioners@hotmail.co.uk

5 comments:

MILDRED said...

SACK THEM ALL!!!!
They shouldn't have the right to resign!
Bradley could use his hose to wash the scum away?
My garden is available if they want it, can hold a band a bouncy castle and a few deck chairs. Better than Bradley's "rescue plan".
I do not believe he thought that one up so quick, this is a blatant plan to get some money back for the culture funding.
Trust a lib dem to f**k it up!
Vote raving looney party!
Oh sorry they seem to be in power already in Liverpool.

Voter said...

How marvellous it is that this blog is back -everything went dark for a while and now thank goodness there is light.

May I add my voice to those like Mildred who believe that the employment of these quarter wits should be terminated and the sooner the better

Prof. Y. Chucklebutty III said...

By Jove Missus,this would never have happened when I was at the helm. I'm not surprised though, I had the same problem when me Tickling Stick Factory burned to the ground. I dialled 999 and they called in health and safety experts to see if they should put out the fire.

Apparrently there was a risk that stray feathers could cause titters, chortles and guffaws so they cancelled the engines. Eventually had to go out to tender, ha ha by jove, I've still got it!

Now as you know ladies and gentlemen I have long campaigned for a Museum of Mirth but it looks like the Town Hall has beaten me to it. Come them all losing the next local elections they are going to keep the current lot and the COC-Ups in glass cases on public display. It's a money spinner too! Put a pound in the slot and you get the same show as the famous laughing blackpool clown with the added attraction of quzzeling canopes and chardonnay. They can't touvh you for it.

But as the battle to save Matthew Street continues (named after one of the fab four you know, Mathhew , Mark, Luke and Elton John. The Apeastles) I have been secretly approached. No madam,not since the taxman had me underfelt up. The Town hall has been on the Diddy Phone. Come on Diddy what would you do they whimpered? You helped put us here and we have done our best to continue your good work...? Well once again necessity means I have to invent something better than your mother. So to provide a suitable venue, I have offered to re-open the jambutty mines and book the main act. Who better to open than THE JAM with "Going Underground" As soon as the Culture Company and co go underground to see if it's safe, we can have a quick vote on letting them out again. Ha Ha by jove, if they keep digging they may meet up with Robbin' Archer and get the money back.

Now, here's a few thoughts, my current bank roll as NHS Fuhrer for coughs and sneezes at the NHS North West Healthy Options Ready Meals...or whatever it's called...it pays the rent missus, has given me a rather interesting take on events back in Mirtheyside. Those of you who read more than the Dandy and Topper may have seen stories over the last few years of disturbed NHS staff seeking attention by deliberately half killing patients so they can be a heroe in saving them at the last minute.... they do it in private hospitals too, such as giving the patient a cappuccino and as they scream and writhe in desperation and panic, suddenly appear with a cinnamon or choccy dusting at the last moment... What a wheeze, not a new idea though, we did the same in destroying services so we could then heroically save and improve them by putting them in with LDHell and flogging them back to the idiots who already owned them...at 10 times the cost Ha Ha!!

Yes tis the season for heroic rescue packages. International Rescue in reverse. Thunderous Berks are Go! Just no Brains this time.


Diddy For Mayor!

Tatty Hello again everybody Tatty Hello!

Tori Blare said...

What a wonderful day for reading Prof Chucklebutty, welcome back butty man, or woman as the case may be? Mine's a ham salad.
Anyway re your suggestion to not letting the culture my arse company, back out of the butty mine, I have a job lot of building bricks and my nephew said you could use his lego, I could drop them off outside the mine entrance?
I once asked the question Culture or Care for the people of Liverpool as hundreds of council carers were invited to sell their jobs for voluntary redundancies, as the caring for our elderly and vulnerable is too expensive! however it would seem we are not worthy of either?
Liberal Democrats seem to have an overall manifesto in local government, that is destroy Liverpool of all its dignity and overall reputation as a City.
GOBSHITES

TREVOR said...

SINCE WHEN WAS DEGSEY A SOCIAL WORKER?
HE WAS A CAR PARK ATTENDANT WAS HE NOT?
EVEN THE SURCHARGED 47 DIDN'T MAKE AS MUCH A MESS OF LIVERPOOL AS THIS LOT HAVE DONE!
WHY ISN'T THE GOVERNMENT ACTING ON THIS AND BANNING THEM ALL FROM POLITICS?
DOUBLE STANDARDS?
IN THE 80'S THE LABOUR PARTY WAS ATTACKED AND ARE OFTEN STILL BLAMED FOR THE SO CALLED CRISIS WE WERE LEFT IN, LIB DEMS AT THE TIME GOT AWAY WITH IT ALL, NOW ITS THEIR TURN, WHO WILL LOB THEM OUT OF THE CITY?
ANY VOLUNTEERS TO COME WITH ME?

How the council use Ripa to spy on you....

Random Photos