Thursday, August 09, 2007

With apologies to E.J.Thribb, aged 17

So, farewell then

Mathew Street.

'And the beat goes on',

You used to sing.

Then the council

Cancelled you.

Was it a Barrowboy?

Or a fireman?

We shall never know

It will be Covered Up.

Meanwhile the empty city streets

Will Echo to the sound

Of laughter.


Anonymous said...

This afternoon I heard talk that the independant enquiry may be led by none other than Colin Cover up himself. Second in line only to Jason Harbarrowboy on the advisor list of the culture company website.

Surely they cannot think the people of Liverpool are that stupid?

Rexy Music said...

Bessie Braddock once said to me that politics is in danger of becoming personality over policy. How right she was. Bessie herself was a larger than life personality and had endured a very hard life and tough upbringing which no doubt helped forge the personality that both took her on the road to being the unrivalled Queen of the Jazz and the Blues. But what made her great also detroyed her. Genius is often intrinsicly linked to a flawed personality. It was one of the traits so admired by the late George Melly that she found time to combine Jazz and politics from her base in Zig Zag Mommas Bad Road.

Jack Braddock ,of course later found fame as Alf Ippytittimus, the cloth cap stooge to a certain Des O'Connor, now to be seen hosting Countdown.

News reaches me that the Matthew Street Festival has been saved for the nation thanks to the National Trust. They have bought the festivl and are planning to open it to the public. It will now be managed and by those splendid ladies and gentlemen in horn rimmed spectacles, cardigans and sensible tweeds in a dignified and organised manner.
The music element will now be based around the usual tribute bands but these will be tributes to Matt Munro, Perry Como, Slim Whitman and Ivor Novello.

My friend Sir Bernard Hogan's Heroes has already given approval for an Apricot Preserve and oat biscuits street licence.

The continued disruption around Whitechapel where I have my office, means it remains unreachable on foot or by car and I am now having to be lowered in through the roof by the RAF. This is an improvement on the Catapult that hurtled me into the hatch of the baked potato vendors the other day and despite the warmer weather, like the potatos i managed to keep my jacket on.

If what's left of the pavement area is now to be splattered with Apricot Preserve from those interfering oafs of the National Trust i may be forced to write more column inches on this subject. It is only to be hoped that the Chief Constable will take stern action to prevent the granting of any licence to those Apricot Heads of the NT.

Gordon Brown continues to be Scottish and yet he does not take a stance on removing Mr Alex Salmond as Scotlands First Minister. The comparisons with Iraq are there for all to see. There may well be weapons of mass distruction inside the scottish borders and it is well known that a drunken glaswegian with is able to reach the border with England in 45 minutes.

Lierpool Coroner Andre Prevello recently attended a function wearing a dinner jacket and silk tie. It was a formal dinner engagement calling for black tie. To my eye it was charcoal. Misdaventure was my damning verdict.

For any readers reaching the point where they are forming a view that this edition of my column is complete nonsense, gibberish and a total waste of time, fear not. i am simply preparing you for the report on the enquiry into the Matthew Street debacle.

As Lord Denning used to say in more sober and sombre moods, bring back Capital Culture Punishment. We yet could see a hung council in May. It is a clear deterrent to voting Lib Dim. Unfortunately public hangings have been delared unsafe by Capita Swinga as the last person to be Hanged died.

Mr Simon O'Brian remains off the airwaves following his foul mouthed utterences and yet Dean Sullivan continues to pop up like Adlephi toast at breakfast. I have eaten toast at the Adelphi only once. Thank goodness the bread used was not the Bread of the same name in the television series created by Carla Lane.

Nellie Boswell is of course married to composer Carl Davis. I doubt he is a regular at the Labour Exchange, even after collaborating on Sore Paul McCartneys Liverpool Oratorio. He also composed the theme to the World at War and should therefore be aware that when caught, collaborators were usually shot.

Perhaps if he had married Nerhys Hughes from the Liver Birds, a more endearing view of Liverpool life, also penned by Ms Carla Lane, we would never have had Sir Paul at the cathedral trying to convince us he is a latter day Handel.

It is the 50th anniversry of something but since I have produced the contractually required amount of words for my column so you will have to find out for yourselves if this a worthy cause for celebration.

Moaning Mldred said...

Where am I going to shove the rug rats now if I can't leave them in front of a mop head singing so I can get off to the pub?

Anonymous said...

Well said Rexy music. But just who is going to hold an enquiry into the Mathew Street mess ? Erm.............LIVERPOOL CITY COUNCIL ???

How the council use Ripa to spy on you....

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