- MACCA'S ULTIMATUM TO COUNCIL - 'COUGH UP £1.9MILLION NOW, OR I'M OFF!'
- PANIC-STRICKEN LIB DIMS HAND IT OVER TO AVOID REPEAT OF MATHEW ST FIASCO
- HEADLESS CHICKENS IN TURMOIL AT CULTURE COMPANY, AFTER LATEST COCK-UP
- GUESS WHO IS GOING TO END UP PAYING FOR THIS?
Panic-stricken Lib Dims have today handed over £1.9million to millionaire ex-Beatle Paul McCartney after he delivered an ultimatum.
He demanded the cash was transferred by the close of business today, after 18 fruitless and frustrating months of trying to deal with the Culture Company.
Macca's patience finally ran out on Friday when the ultimatum was delivered to the Fun Palace at Millennnium House - sparking scenes of mass panic and headless chickens as the bureaucratic suits were forced to gather for a series of top-level meetings.
Colin CoverUp then decided to leap into action (well, he got slowly to his feet and decided to politely ask a minion to send off a carrier pigeon to ask various penpushers what he should do, eds)
The upshot was that the Lib Dims decided to hand over the dosh - even though they are already £62 million in the red and are busily sacking staff, closing old people's homes, leisure and sports centres and increasing charges for anything that moves.
Macca is still waiving his £300,000 appearance fee and handing it over to LIPA - but that still takes the total cost to council taxpayers to an extra £2.25million.
The final cost will be millions more of course - all heavily disguised by the smiling assassin, Hasitall.
And remember the Harbarrowboy originally promised the Macca gig would be 'cost neutral'.
Then, that it would cost just £1.2million.
Now CoverUp and the Fireman Bradley are desperately trying to persuade safety experts to find space at Anfield to fit in another 10-15,000 extra seats for the gig.
So that they can then sell the extra tickets to plug the bulging gap in the city's coffers.
But safety experts have so far refused to give the go-ahead. If they refuse, watch out for more cuts in services and the city's Culture year being severely curtailed still further.
Meanwhile all the bollocks about global TV rights and DVDs and corporate hospitality coining it for the city, have all proved groundless.
The tree killing media, at the craven Echo and Daily Post will hail this as a fantastic boost for the city - Macca is coming! It's Official! An extra 15,000 tickets go on sale for gig of the century!
Not a single member of the Liverpool meeja has got anywhere near asking a single relevant question about the spiralling out of control cost of this event.
The total cost will forevever remain a mystery.
Meanwhile we bet Macca doesn't play this at Anfield: