Saturday, January 10, 2009

UNELECTED, UNACCOUNTABLE, UNPALATABLE - The new Leader of Liverpool greets the Prime Minister.

OUR Lord Redmond, denied a knighthood in the New Year's Honours, was hanging on the Prime Minister's coat-tails during his visit to Liverpool.

The self-appointed Tribune of the People was never far from Gordon's side whether at Lime Street, the Echo Arena, new Museum of Liverpool, or even on the River when the PM went for a sail.

Whenever Gordon swept into view, there was the lagubrious Redmond at his side, making him chuckle with tales of Scouse weddings, Scouse anniversaries, and how much public money he had frittered away on '08.

Redmond's ego had successfully managed to shove Fireman Bradley out of the way early doors. The Lib Dem leader was later overheard bitterly complaining about being out manouevred from the Oldham Echo's photos.

Nor was there any room for the city's first citizen, Labour councillor Steve Rotherham, who would normally have accompanied the PM on such civic engagements.

Nor was there any room for Labour's elected leader in Liverpool, Joe Anderson.

Nor was there any room for any of Liverpool's Labour MPs.

Instead the Prime Minister's escort was the mastermind behind....Brookside.

What a boost for Liverpool in 2009.

Redmond had turned up to greet Gordon the day after attending a special '08 'Official Thank You' to the staff at the Fun Palace, who have kept the show on the road while the Harbarrowboy, Redmond, CoverUp and Bradley, etc, combined to cock everything up.

Redmond was so busy taking credit for everything and slapping himself on the back at this 'do', as the totally smitten Culture Secretary Andy Burnham looked on admiringly, that he actually forgot, thank the staff.

Our Lord had to be reminded by an underling to do the honours at the end of his lengthy speech about all his great triumphs during the past year.

Let us not forget that Redmond was first given a bunk up onto the '08 gravy train by his mate, the evil Sir Diddy Henshaw, who appointed him to the Culture Board.

Redmond then sat on his hands for two years as Robbing Archer got to work (sic), the Harbarrowboy topped up his tan and Mathew Street was cancelled.

In the resulting fall-out, our Lord seized his chance while the Fireman's attention was diverted.

Desperate to get Culture, Redmond and Bryan Gray from the North West Development Agency, did a deal to take over the reins of 2008, in return for a Government bail-out.

Wisely, the Government later refused the bail-out.

By the time the penny had dropped with the Fireman, Redmond had his feet under the desk and his picture in the papers.

Easy as pie.

So. This is the monster which the Lib Dems have now created - a multi-millionaire dealer in Scouse stereotypes; an unelected, unaccountable, resident of Tarporley (not Frodsham), who insists on being called 'Professor'; who can spend public money willy nilly while affecting a thick Scouse accent; who now, astonishingly has been doled out more public money to launch his Cultural Collective - a rag, tag and bobtail collection of his mates and sycophants to succeed the unmourned Culture Company.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


FORMER Lib Dem Leader Mike Storey is still set to be Lord Mayor next year, despite being found guilty of breaking council rules.

The Storeyteller was convicted by the Standards Board of leaking details of the Harbarrowboy's illness to Joe Riley at the Oldham Echo.

But they decided not to punish him, because they stupidly decided that Storey had only responded to Riley's enquiry, rather than volunteering the details.

This is, of course, total nonsense.

Storey it was who pro-actively went on the blower to Riley to dish the dirt on Jase after Fireman Bradley tipped him off in the Leader's Jag the night before.

Riley then went bumbling around telling anyone who would listen in the Municipal Buildings that Storey had told him all about Jase having a dicky ticker and being on the sick!

Apparently Riley had completely forgotten the first rule of journalism: 'protect thy source'.

In response to this, Storeyteller in his evidence to the Standards Board called Riley a liar: "I don't know why Joe, who I like and respect, should utter such a preposterous falsehood."

Pots calling kettles,wethinks.

However, the Storeyteller's leak did present the Oldham Echo with an ethical dilemma.

Given that Riley had already dropped his 'secret' source in deep doo-doo, how could they maintain their editorial integrity as a trusted newspaper, etc (sic)?

The answer they hit on, simply, was to lie.

So, in the Echo's evidence to the Standards Board, they completely manufactured another source for the story.

"Yes, Mike Storey, CBE had spoken to Joe Riley. But it was Joe who phoned him first and Storey only confiirmed what we already knew. Another source has told us all about it first."

This engaging and highly entertaining tale of the mythical leaker apparently made the Standards Board look a bit more favourably on the Storeyteller.

So they let him off.

Of course, they should have hung drawn and quartered Storey for his part in The Perroni Plot against Jase at the Fireman's house, when the wicked pair tried to lure the seriously wronged Lee Forde into their evil plan.

But our ethical arbitrators decided that it was just another social engagement for the Storeyteller to sit in Bradley's front room for two hours, talking to an ex-employee who was suing the council, two days after an official report had wrongly blamed Mr Forde for the Mathew Street debacle and questioninging to him in great and prolonged detail about the Harbarrowboy's activities.

A typical Sunday night out round at Warren's gaff for the Storeyteller, in other words.

"I was just making up the numbers, guv. Felt sorry for Mr Forde. Gave him my shoulder to cry on. Gave him a Perroni to cheer him up. Nothing at all to do with getting rid of Jase. Utmost respect for the Harbarrowboy. Fine public servant. No feelings of animosity over Mathew Street, strike me down dead this very minute. Mathew St an unforunate episode admittedly, but tiny hiccup in the fantastic regeneration which our city is undergoing. Just look at how things were 10 years ago, we were the worst council in the country, now look at us! Er, sorry, i got that bit wrong, etc, etc, etc."

Sort of thing.

So this is the man who is destined to be Liverpool's first citzen next year? Unless of course Labour, Steve Radford's Liberals and the Greens combine to thwart his ambitions to appear in the Echo nightly throughout 2009?

Meanwhile, many of the blog's commentators appear to be on the button...

Friday, December 12, 2008


OFFICIALS from the worst council in the country were out in force at the recent Coldplay gig at the Oldham Arena.

Surprisingly, despite the abundance of bureaucrats present, this was a gig that was not promoted by Chas 'Show me the money' Cole.

However, that didn't stop Chas's mate Phil Hasitall, who took a half million pound pay-off from the hard-pressed council taxpayers of Liverpool, being present in a front row seat.

Wonder who paid for his ticket?

Nor did it stop chief executive Colin CoverUp and his delightful missus getting on down with the kids from their seats.

Wonder who paid for their tickets?

Alongside CoverUp and missus, and making a rare and hugely anticipated public appearance, was a surprise special guest - none other than The Storeyteller and his delightful missus.

Wonder who paid for their tickets?

Indeed so thick (sic) on the ground were senior council officials and members of CoverUp's Executive Management Team that excited bystanders wondered if the Lib Dim Executive Board were going to be the support act.

We are told that the Christmas get-together was to celebrate all the hard work put in by senior executives in making the city council the worst in the country and taking Liverpool to the verge of bankruptcy.

The council delegation took particular delight in Coldplay front man Chris Martin's recital of the appropriate line: "Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard”.

But one civic leader (sic) was surprisingly missing from the distinguished council line-up.

Step forward, under-investigation and on his uppers, Warren 'The Fireman' Bradley.

He rang up an underling just an hour before the show to apologise and cancel his seats.

Wonder who paid for his (unused) tickets?

So, as the bureaucrats swayed to the appropriately titled "Fix You", there was mounting speculation amongst them about The Fireman's future (sic).

"He's ****ed," was the fairly constant refrain.

But it seems The Fireman too, may well have finally smelled the coffee after a series of full and frank exchanges with his ruinously expensive legal team (paid for by council taxpayers).

The legal eagles have apparently advised him, at a cost believed to be in the region of £750 a day, that he is in deep doo-doo with the Standards Board.

"You're on a sticky wicket, Warren mate," was the advice.

"It looks like curtains, sunshine."

"They've got you bang to rights."

We would not have charged him a penny - thus saving council taxpayers a small fortune - for providing exactly the same advice.

And we would have been happy to have done so. As a public service to the people of Liverpool.

Meanwhile, now that the penny has dropped with the Fireman, the Standards Board contine to consider his and the Storeyteller's response to their secret report.

It could be finally published next week, next month, next year.

Anyroadup, the Fireman's bold threats ("I'm a fighter, not a fireman") of taking out an incredibly expensive High Court injunction against the ethics watchdogs at the Standards Board have apparently come to nought.

Gone are the protestations of innocence. Gone the brave words. Gone the little boy lost look.

Gone with all the wind.

The fearless Fireman has now gone from cock of the north to cock-up.

Which made one Coldplay song all the more appropriate - 'Yellow'.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

LIB DEMS ON TRIAL: 'Those mugs can pay for my legal costs'.

COUNCIL taxpayers are footing the bill for Fireman Bradley's legal defence against the Standards Board.

So far, the shock fee for assorted solicitors, barristers and legal advice has already reached a cool £10,000.

It is expected to at least TRIPLE when Fireman Bradley is hauled in front of the Adjudication Panel for England next year.

And every penny will be paid by the council's taxpayers.

So let us just recap on the story so far:

a) Bradley cocks up trying to get rid of the Harbarrowboy so badly that, in the end, the city council is forced to pay off Jase with a quarter of a million pounds.

Paid for by council taxpayers.

b) Bradley is prosecuted by ethics watchdogs over his blundering attempts to get rid of The Harbarrowboy. And his defence is now being funded by the city council.

Paid for by council taxpayers.

c) This is what is officially known in the trade as "adding insult to injury."

Bradley, who pockets £30,000 a year as Leader of the worst council in the country (special responsibility allowance of £20,600, plus the basic allowance of £9,900) on top of his firefighter's salary of £28,000 a year, has protested that he cannot afford to pay for his own legal defence.

So Colin CoverUp has authorised the city council's coffers to be thrown open to the current council leader.

No limit has been placed on the eventual legal bill.

The sky is the limit.

Meanwhile, after taking two weeks to read the secret Standards Board report which finds him guilty of repeated breaches of the councillors Code of Conduct, Bradley consulted with m'learned friends.

Then he finally submitted his response to the Standards Board last Wednesday.

(Basically his not guilty plea amounts to: "blame that Lee Forde fella and his mates; my children have suffered as a result of all this; I'm only a fireman; Look at how much Liverpool has benefitted from my leadership (sic); I never sent any emails or text messages to anyone.")

The Standards Board are now deciding how long they need to respond and/or amend their report.
Could be days.
Could be weeks.

Knowing them.

But publish the report they will.


Unless one of Bradley's legal eagles threatens them with a High Court injunction.

Which would be quite expensive.
But hey!
It's only council taxpayer's hard-earned money.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008


The following is a comment made by one of our loyal readers.

We think it deserves a higher profile.

"Well, having read the accounts in the papers, not only is it a sad and sorry account of Liverpool politics it is a sad and sorry account of the slanted reporting of the Liverpool/Oldham Echo.

The Post Article covers mainly the facts of the case and the reaction of other local politicians.

It states that Hurst has instructed his legal team to launch an appeal against the conviction etc.

Whereas our Lib Dem a*se licking Echo, passes quickly over the guilty verdict and reprehensible actions and then gives over half of their coverage to presenting Hurst as the victim.

They even put up a photgraph captioned “STRAIN Cllr Hurst says he will appeal”.

They cite the “horrendous strain” he has endured (since getting caught methinks).

But incredibly, well not for the Echo, I suppose, we then have almost half of the article quoting Bradley, his local party leader, personal friend and fellow firefighter.

Bradley tells us, “anyone who knows Steve (Hurst) from work, life or politics knows he is a really decent guy who does not deserve this.”

I would assume the Walton’s know him, given that the real victims of this will know him from work life and politics also.

I don’t think they will share that view.

Then they further quote Bradley: “There is a concerted smear campaign against him which has been a waste of public money.”

(Well he knows all about wasting public money.)

What the hell is the fool talking about?

Is he accusing the Walton’s of launching a smear campaign against Hurst?

Who has used public money to carry this out?

The only public money involved is related to the court prosecution in which he was found guilty.

Is it the police or the courts and the judge that have carried out the campaign?

Perhaps so, since Bradley continues: “You have to start questioning the judicial system, considering he was found guilty on circumstantial evidence.”

Very serious accusations Mr Bradley.

I hope you have more than circumstantial evidence to back them up.

So what was the evidence against Hurst that left the sentencing Judge in believing, beyond all doubt, in his guilt?

He had copies of the smear leaflet, he admitted this, claimed he was collecting them to take back to Lib Dem HQ.

He was identified by one of the people in whose letterbox he posted it, wearing his baseball cap and dark glasses, (in the evening).

It spoke of being a scab firefighter, he is also a firefighter.

It mentioned the Lee Park golf club, of which he is a member.

It spoke of leaving council meetings early, he is a councillor.

His constituency is Wavertree, what was he doing out leafleting alone miles away in BelleVale in the evening?

How many other constituencies did he go out alone in order to leaflet?

Well let’s look at the character witnesses...

Storey, already disgraced and forced to resign following the standards board investigation over the Henshaw affair, but brought straight back in by Bradley to a senior position to the disgust of many.

And Bradley himself.

The man awaiting findings from the standards board also as to whether he is fit for public office or has broken the code of standards of behaviour for Councillors.

A man who was exposed as a liar in the Daily Post claiming he never had a secret meeting with the person he allowed to be the fall-guy over Mathew Street.

Claimed he had not had communications nor sent texts trying to set up the meeting he never had, until presented with copies of the emails/texts.

And finally admitting that he did send them and that a meeting took place.

In his, not a dry eye in the house, speech to council he informed them that he had lodged a grievance with the Press Complaints Commission.

Another lie - it appears since it was later confirmed that no such complaint had been received. Well,you only need go back through these pages for any more.

So this is the man who is standing up in court asking us all to believe in the honesty, integrity and decency of Cllr Hurst.

Not worth a carrot!!

One other interesting point.

Going back to the waste of public money issue.

I suspect the real strain for Hurst is losing the additional £13,300 he got for serving on the Executive Board and the worry that if he had to resign his seat as a councillor that he would also lose the additional £9,900 for that.

All of which is of course on top of his fire fighter salary.

In court his wife tearfully spoke about their plans to emigrate to Australia on his retirement.

Well for one thing, what the hell is he doing running Liverpool and making decisions about it’s future when the first chance he gets he is off to live on the other side of the world.

It is bad timing really.

If this had been a good while ago, he could have been sent there for free courtesy of her Majesty.

So let’s keep an eye out for Bradley’s campaign to change the Justice system.

He may need to do this pretty soon.

They have got away with so much that they are now shocked that they are not actually above the law and just cannot accept being exposed and found out.


Monday, December 01, 2008


AND so it came to pass.

Anyone who doubted the guilt of Lib Dim councillor Steve Hurst, from the first day of his trial, must have needed their heads examining.

He was bang to rights as soon as he was caught red-handed delivering his disgusting smear leaflet.

By the same token, anyone who protested the innocence of Hurst, must have needed locking up.

Step forward then
  • current Lib Dim council leader, Councillor Warren Bradley

  • former Lib Dim council leader (and next year's first citizen of Liverpool, would you believe!) Councillor Mike Storey and

  • would-be Lib Dim MP for Wavertree, Councillor Colin Eldridge.

All three stood in the dock as 'character witnesses' for Hurst.

So desperate was this Lib Dim high command to thwart justice that they even enlisted the slightly dotty Lady Doreen Jones, as a fourth character witness for Hurst.

What a sight it must have made - this rogues gallery traipsing in and out of the dock to protest, apparently straight-faced, that Councillor Hurst was a fine upstanding citizen.

'Couldn't possibly have been Steve. A man of the utmost integrity. A true democrat. Known him since he was a lad. Wouldn't put a foot out of line. A fine, upstanding public servant. No question about it.'

What utter hypocrites they are.

The truth, of course, is the direct opposite. Hurst is a thoroughly nasty piece of work, a vicious bully, given to threatening and malicious behaviour. He is a liar and a cheat and a fraud.

Of course, after being convincingly found guilty, he should now be instantly expelled from the Lib Dim group, chucked out of his party and suspended as a councillor. Lib Dim Leader Nick Clegg (who? ed) should disown him in the blink of an eye. Bradley should sack him. Cover Up should institute internal council proceedings. But hey, this is Liverpool, and none of that will happen.

It cannot happen because Hurst was just one member of a Gang of Four who were equally complicit. Together they hatched this despicable, sordid little episode in Liverpool's political history. Bradley, Eldridge and Storey - an evil cabal if ever there was one - were all part of the plot.

They printed the leaflet at the Lib Dim HQ on Smithdown Road (they even used the same pink paper for one of their own, more conventional Lib Dim leaflets) and Hurst donned a comic book disguise of baseball cap and sunglasses to hand deliver it.

We are reliably informed, however, that some principled Lib Dem party workers refused to deliver the leaflet, after reading the shocking contents - leaving Hurst to do it on his own.

It is to their credit.

'What does it all matter?' we can hear some ask. 'It's only a bloody election leaflet - and no one reads that kind of bollocks anyway.'

Maybe not. But this is why it matters...

The Hurst case graphically illustrates a rotteness at the heart of Lib Dim politics in Liverpool. This gang of toe-rags thought nothing of producing a gratuitously offensive and nasty, lying little leaflet, because they were so desperate to win a seat. And keep their grubby little hands on the rungs of power. So they got down into the gutter. To stop at nothing.

Worse. They think its funny. And they think its clever. This is what passes for sophisticated electoral campaigning in their sad world. And they are then prepared to lie on oath about it in a court of law.

How can anyone now believe another word uttered by Hurst? Or Bradley? Or Storey? Or Eldridge? They have, ironically, discredited themselves for all time. Shooting themselves in the mouth, as it were.

By using such gutter smear tactics, the Lib Dims have shown how they have poisoned the level of political debate and political activity in the city.

And do not, for a second, let anyone cynically tell you that "they are all as bad as each other. They are all at it."'

No, they are not.

Which other councillors? From which other political party? Have been found guilty of breaking which election laws?


Just the Lib Dems.

And when caught out, the cowardly Hurst then had the sickening effrontery to try and stick an assault charge on his hapless victim, fellow firefighter Keith Walton, the husband of Labour councillor Pauline Walton.

Mr Walton's only crime had been to defend his own good name and his wife's reputation. Fortunately, after investigating, the police told Hurst were exactly he could shove his assault charge.

Read the accounts in the papers tomorrow and reflect on what it all says about the sad and depressing state of Lib Dem politics in Liverpool.

And work for change.








More follows later!

STANDARDS BOARD LATEST: 'I'm a fighter - not a fireman!"

LIB Dim leader Warren Bradley takes the stand today as a 'character witness' for fellow fireman Steve Hurst, who is accused of breaking election law.
This is likely to provide a courtroom dress rehearsal for Bradley, who is set to be hauled in front of a separate court to face charges from the Standards Board that he repeatedly and flagrantly broke the Code of Conduct for councillors.
Both Bradley and Wavertree Lib Dim Parliamentary candidate Colin Edridge have decided to give public support to Hurst in court (see previous posts for the utterly outrageous and totally untrue explanation for their presence.)
Meanwhile the secret Standards Board report continues to exercise members of the Lib Dim group who are terrified that it will sound the death knell for their 10 years in power.
(Okay then, 10 years in office, if not in power).
Bradley has been going around in the last few days, insisting to worried Lib Dim colleagues, who have been asking what's going on: "I'm a fighter!" (Not a fireman, apparently.)
Which means, as we exclusively predicted ages ago, that he is set to resist all attempts by the Standards Board to bring him to book.
Which means also, that he will heap more shame and disgrace on the city of Liverpool with a public appearance in front of the Adjudication Panel for England.
They will hear evidence in public that the Lib Dim council leader tried to lure former Events boss, Lee Forde, into a plot against The Harbarrowboy.
The Panel will also hear evidence that he undermined the Harbarrowboy's position after the Mathew Street fiasco.
Hopefully both Mr Forde and Mr Harbarrowboy will be called as witnesses to give their side of the story.
All of which will make a fascinating spectacle as Fireman Bradley tries to wriggle off the hook.
Bradley has already hired a team of expensive lawyers to try and escape the rap - we wonder who will be footing the massive bill for this?
Meanwhile, we confidently predict that the Standards Board's long-awaited report on Bradley will be finally made public within the next few days - probably before the end of the week.
At which point, even the Oldham Echo, having sacked 43 journalists, may take a dim view of the leader of the city council.
(If there is anyone still left in the newsroom to report it.)
Quite what the judge in the Hurst trial will make today of Bradley as a 'character witness' remains to be seen.
Especially since, within just a few days, his character is likely to be roundly, comprehensively and officially condemned by the Standards Board.
With friends like this for the accused Hurst, who needs enemies?
Meanwhile Liverpool subCulture is forced to reluctantly issue an official apology to our loyal reader. (That's you in the back!)
It seems, if you believe the rumours sweeping the city, that Bradley's accomplice, The Storeyteller, may actually escape censure from the Standards Board!
We know this is difficult to believe, but please bear with us...
Seems The Storeyteller may have managed to persuade the ethics watchdogs (complete numpties) that he had nothing at all to do with leaking details of Jase's heart trouble to the Oldham Echo.
And that, similarly, he is prone to spending regular Sunday evenings sipping Peroni around at Bradley's gaff - and that his presence there had nothing at all to do with trying to get dirt from Lee Forde on the Harbarrowboy.
So even though he may have been found in the library with a dagger, a bottle of poison and a pearl-handled revolver while Jase's sun-tanned body lay face down on the carpet, it had nothing at all to do with him.
Honest guv.
We know this is laughable - but then, so is the Standards Board.
Which means that The Storeyteller may yet live to fight another day - what price a future leadership challenge to Flo Clueless?

Sunday, November 23, 2008


THIS is the bogus leaflet that has put Fireman Bradley's close colleague, senior Lib Dem councillor Steve Hurst in the dock.

According to the prosecution, a disguised Hurst was hand-delivering this disgusting, nasty, vicious little piece of fiction to homes on the Woodlands estate when he was caught red-handed.

According to fireman Hurst, a member of the city council's Cabinet, he was, as an upstanding public-spirited citizen, actually taking them out of letter boxes.

This is Councillor Hurst's astonishingly literate, persuasive and moving account of what happened...

"I found some discarded TUSP leaflets, about five or six. I read them, seen how derogatory it was. I had never seen anything like it in my life. Any opposition leaflets, we should take them back to the Lib-Dem HQ for information purposes. This is something all councillors do.”

There is absolutely no truth whatsoever, of course, in claims that the pink bogus TUSP leaflet was in fact dreamt up by Wavertree parliamentary Lib Dem candidate Colin Eldridge with Hurst and Fireman Bradley.

Nor is there any truth in the utterly offensive speculation that both Eldridge and Bradley are to be 'character witnesses' for Hurst, because they don't want him to cough and shop the pair of them. That would be unthinkable.

(You could not make this up, could you? A character witness? Bradley? They must be joking! eds)

Anyway, read the leaflet for yourselves.

It shows, if you believe the prosecution of course, to what disgusting depths the Lib Dems will sink to keep their grubby hands on power.

And it also shows how ten years of Lib Dem rule at the Town Hall has grossly devalued the currency of political debate and political activity in the city of Liverpool.

The case is scheduled to resume on December 1st.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Fireman Bradley faces court....

FIREMAN Bradley faces a public 'trial' after being found guilty of repeated breaches of the councillors' Code of Conduct.

Ethical watchdogs at the Standards Board are recommending that the Fireman is hauled in front of the Adjudication Panel for England which will then consider what action to take over the breaches.

The move is the most serious step the Standards Board can take and means that Bradley will have to appear in front of a public tribunal to answer the allegations.

He faces being suspended for up to a year or being disqualified from office for up to five years!

The same fate also awaits his partner in crime, the Storeyteller, who unaccountably appears to be going around Liverpoool telling anyone who will listen how he will escape censure.

This indicates that he has either had rather too much to drink at a Culture Company freebie, or that men in white coats are about to cart him off to the funny farm.

If Bradley is walking the plank to oblivion, the Storeyteller has already gone off the deep end and is now drowning, not waving.

The Fireman meanwhile is desperately trying to get his act together and is currently seeking legal advice from top barristers about what to do next, since kicking former Lord Mayor and barrister Paul Clark into touch after repeated poor advice.

However, anything can still happen. (Well this is Liverpool, you know, ed)

Many Lib Dems are already muttering darkly about Bradley on the specific grounds that he should resign as Leader and fight for his political life from the backbenches.

They know that if Leader Bradley appears in front of a court of law, the people of Liverpool will take an exceedingly dim view of both the Fireman and his party.

Not even Degsy dragged Liverpool so deep into the gutter.

So there are already audible Lib Dem discussions going on about Flo Clueless stepping into the breach.

Quite who will hand the Fireman the poisoned fire hose is a moot point however. Sir Trevor? Paul Clein? Kevin Firth? There are a growing number who would willingly volunteer.

You will read nothing about this, of course, in the Oldham Echo which, because they were scooped to a story by the Daily Post, then petulantly decided that they wouldn't run anything at all about the Standards Board.

They much prefer to pretend that the Leader of Liverpool city council has not been under investigation for a year, that he has not been handed a damning report which recommends a court appearance for him and that he does not face being banned from office.

They would rather tell you about the latest drugs heist instead or the imposter Pete Price's 'going nowhere' campaign against a harmless blogger, who is, obviously, the real Pete Price.

Sadly, the Oldham Echo's new 'political correspondent' got the bums rush from the Fireman when approached for a sympathetic "My personal agony and why is everyone picking on me and my family?" interview with the hapless and hopeless Fireman.

Meanwhile there are many wronged people with justifiable scores to settle against both Bradley and Storey who are waiting patiently and expectantly on the sidelines for the Standards Board to finally publish its report....

To say nothing of the Fireman's close colleague, Councillor Hurst appearing in court too. But then that's another story...

Monday, November 03, 2008

On the brink of an historic victory....

We are on the brink of an historic, once-in-a-lifetime victory after years of corruption, failure and incompetence.

Within the next few days, the values of truth, justice and democracy will triumph - and the people will witness the beginning of the end of a disastrous regime.


The Standards Board are due to deliver their verdict on Fireman Bradley and his sidekick Storey before the end of the week, according to gossiping Colin CoverUp.

The pair of Perroni plotters will be given a few weeks to read the detailed verdict of the ethical watchdogs before it is then made public.

They will be found guilty of breaking all the standards of ethical behaviour expected of elected representatives.

The Fireman and Storeyteller will be given time to digest the report's detailed findings and to reflect on their contemptible behaviour which has brought shame, scorn and dishonour to the city of Liverpool.

They will probably run crying to lawyers (but not Sexy Rexy, that's for sure) and will try and do anything they can to avoid the tide of history sweeping them from power.

Both will be under extreme pressure to go quietly from within the Lib Dem's own depleted, dispirited and disheartened ranks.

There will be an appeal to them by senior figures to put Liverpool first.

But Bradley, who will literally be Wounded Badly and a Lame duck Leader, and Storey, a Dead Man Walking, will turn a deaf ear as, typically and consistently, they put themselves first.

All of which means we are in for at least a month of speculative headlines as the Oldham Echo tries to catch up with the blog. There will also be tons of gossip and rumour amongst the great and the good of Liverpool which will keep us all highly entertained in the run-up to the festive season.

Make no mistake - the days of Bradley and Storey are well and truly numbered.

Victory is within our grasp. It is an historic achievement. It will bring the dawn of a new era.

Let the celebrations start on Wednesday morning...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008




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We offer comprehensive benefits, including an annual leave allowance of 32.5 days and a final salary pension scheme.

For further information and to apply, please visit

Closing date: 29 October 2008 (but don't you worry if you can't manage to get your appplication in by this date, anytime will do really. We're not that bothered. Whenever you can get around to it will be fine. We will just wait for you to contact us, shall we?)

Interview date: 13 and 17 November 2008

The Standards Board for England operates a fair and open recruitment process and is committed to being an equal opportunities employer.


Thursday, October 09, 2008


A 'SECRET DEAL' has been agreed between The Standards Board for England and Fireman Bradley and the Storeyteller over its investigation into the pair.

The 'ethics watchdog' has privately agreed with them that it would 'not be in Liverpool's best interests' if they found against the pair during Liverpool's Capital of Culture year.

So the Standards Board have agreed to delay publication of their findings for as long as possible during 2008.

That's why since May, the Standards (sic) Board has been telling anyone who asked that the result of its investigation would be known "in a few weeks" to try and put off damaging publicity for as long as possible.

A few weeks has now dragged on for a few months, and a few months and, er, a few months.

But this week, we can exclusively reveal that the Standards (sic) Board's findings will be made public "in a few weeks".

Or maybe not.

They will try and put off any decision for as long as they can get away with it - because it is "not in the city of Liverpool's best interests" to have its current political leader and its former political leader officially exposed in 2008 when the eyes of the world (ok, Oldham) are on us.

Meanwhile the Fireman is lording it around Liverpool One in front of gullible fools, while the Storeyteller pulls on the Deputy Mayoral chain of office and ermine in readyness for becoming 'Liverpool's First Citizen' next year.

(You really couldn't make this up could you?)

The charge sheet against both the Fireman and Storeyteller is long and varied, of course.

Aside from being weak, dishonourable, incompetent and wasting council taxpayer's money and Liverpool's best opportunity for a generation, the dozy Lib Dem pair have scaled new heights of unethical behaviour.

This includes cocking up Mathew Street and blaming everyone else but themselves, secretly plotting against The Harbarrowboy, sending dodgy emails to CoverUp, trying to lure Lee Forde into their conspiracy after publicly trying to 'do him in', drinking Peroni, lying repeatedly to the Daily Post, leaking Harbarrows' health to the Oldham Echo, etc, etc.

No doubt, when it eventually makes a public ruling on the Fireman and Storeyteller on November 24th, in the year 2047, the Standards Board will find that both have acted in accordance with the highest standards of public office.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

QUESTION: Why did Colin CoverUp write this email to standards watchogs - but never send it...?

ABOVE is an email that Colin Hilton, the chief executive of Liverpool city council, wrote to the Standards Board to officially complain about the conduct of former council leader, Mike Storey.

Amazingly, and for reasons best known to himself, CoverUp NEVER SENT this email to the Standards Board.

It was written after a council investigation into the Storeyteller leaking details of The Harbarrowboy's heart condition to Joe Riley at the Oldham Echo.

The email outlines nine potential breaches of codes of conduct by the Storeyteller.

CoverUp told Jason Harbarrowboy that he had sent the letter and had made an official complaint to the Standards Board about the Storeyteller's conduct.

This was a lie. He did nothing of the kind.

The Harbarrowboy was astonished months later when he discovered that Hilton had never sent the email! He had kept it.

After a complaint by Jase, the Standards Board are now finally investigating the circumstances outlined by CoverUp's email - and how Storeyteller leaked details of the Harbarrowboy's health to the Oldham Echo.

If the Standards Board eventually find against the Storeyteller on this charge - one of several - it would also be curtains for Hilton.

It would mean that he had been complicit in a grave breach of the city council's Code of Conduct.

Yet he failed to draw it to the attention of the proper authorities.

We might also conclude that CoverUp has 'gone native' and thrown in his lot with the Lib Dims, forever compromising the last tatty remnants of his professional integrity.

The plot thickens.

Now read on...

16 July 2007



The Standards Board for England,
Fourth Floor,
Griffin House,
Lever Street,
M1 1BB

Dear Sirs,

I write to refer to you details of what I consider to be a breach of the Council’s Code of Conduct by Councillor Mike Storey CBE. I enclose a copy of my recent letter to Councillor Storey in which I set out the grounds for this referral.

As you will be aware Councillor Storey is a senior councillor and a member of the Council’s Executive Board. My Investigations have led me to conclude that he has supplied a story to the media consisting of confidential information about the health of a senior employee without any attempt to either check the particular facts or to discuss internally whether or not such information needed to be released and, if it did, what would be the best way to present such information so as to exercise care towards the employee and protect the reputation of the council.

Whilst the councillor is also a Director of the Council’s Capital of Culture Company (to whom the senior employee concerned reports directly) neither the service nor the employee comes directly within the councillor’s portfolio and the matter was not, therefore, within the responsibility of the councillor. I can think of no proper motive for the councillor having directly approached the media to disclose the information but, in any event, the councillor denies so doing. I set out below extracts from the Council’s Constitution which I believe to be relevant.
Member Officer Protocol (copy enclosed):-

Para 6.1 – must keep confidential information confidential

Para 6.3 – information about someone’s private or business affairs – will normally be confidential (in my view this must include the health of an employee and even if it were necessary to make a public announcement about the health of a senior employee that should have been done properly through the Council by the appropriate people).
Para 7.1 – personal relationships must be based on mutual respect

Para 7.3 - must strive to avoid developing antagonistic competitive relationships with each other.

Para 10.2 – members should not become personally involved in staffing matters

Employees Code of Conduct (also in Council’s Constitution)

Page 5/26 of the Constitution reproduces Paragraph 74 of the National Conditions of Service for APT&C staff:-
“Information concerning officers’ private affairs shall not be supplied to any person outside the service of the employing authority unless the consent of such officer is first obtained.”

Members Code of Conduct

Paragraph 2(b) - treat others with respect

Paragraph 2(c) – not do anything which compromises or which is likely to compromise the impartiality of those who work for or on behalf of the City Council.

Paragraph 3(c) - a Member must not disclose information which he believes is of a confidential nature without consent.

Please note that in view of the importance of this matter the Council’s Monitoring Officer has been involved in advising me and, therefore, in the expectation that you will decided to investigate this matter I would request that the investigation be carried out by one of your own Ethical Standards Officers.

Yours sincerely

Colin Hilton
Chief Executive

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Our Lord Redmond cancels closing ceremony so 2008 will end....

OUR Lord Redmond has cancelled plans for a closing ceremony for 2008 - because there is no money left in the kitty.

Redmond, a multi-millionaire who lives in Cheshire, pulled the plug at a meeting in the Millenium House Fun Palace this afternoon.

He had appointed himself as the producer of the show and was due to take all the credit for single-handedly designing a showpiece event.

Liverpool subCulture understands that these were some of Redmond's planned highlights:

  • The March of the Superlambananas - a parade of all the Japanese-made statues which were erected around the city.

  • Karaoke Kop - a massed choir in the Oldham Echo Arena singing their favourite Beatles songs.

  • 'I'm a Scouser, get me out of here!' - a new series broadcast on closed circuit TV all around the city where celebrity scousers try to out-do each other with their quaint Scouse mannerisms. This was Our Lord's own, totally original, idea.

  • Build your own bench, sponsored by Rapid. A mass creative cultural experience for local people to show how fully engaged they are in Liverpool 2008. In a new innovation, benches can be made from wastepaper made in Oldham. Redmond said: “I said at the beginning, it’s not simply a bench. It’s also a cultural resting place." (He did actually say this, eds)

  • Build Your Own Pub, sponsored by Cains.

  • A great after-show party for Phil and his mates, including Pete Price (welcome back Pete, eds), Clare Sweeney, Sinbad and various other extras from Brookside.

  • The Phil Factor - Our Lord judges the world class local talent who come on, trip up over some tatty 08 branding and then start singing old Frank Sinatra songs. Into the wrong microphone.

  • 'Standards are Slipping' - a look back at the city's rich political history, culminating in a pyrotechnic re-enactment of the Fireman's famous 'Walk of Death' to judgement day by the Standards Board for England.

  • Carry On Cover Up - a light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek romp through the farcical goings-on at Liverpool Town Hall.

  • Double Your Money - a live casino on the waterfront where council taxpayers give up all their money to incompetent council bureaucrats who then disappear to retirement homes in Formby, Spain and Wales.

Unfortunately we are now going to miss all these treats. Because all the money has been spent. Gone, Vanished. Disappeared. The cupboard is bare. There is no more dosh. It doesn't grow on trees yer know. We are brassic. Aint got a cent, lah. On our uppers, Phil mate.

Redmond had originally wanted £1million for the end of the year show when he began planning his great moment six months ago. Then the budget was halved to half a million - the amount being paid to Hasitall as a reward for his incompetence. Then the budget was going to be dependent on what could be raised in ticket sales for seats for the show at the Oldham Arena. Then at today's meeting, Redmond was finally told there were no more spondulicks.

What's more, since the long-suffering Culture Company staff are all out on their ears on December 31st, not many were going to be daft enough to rally around to make multi-millionaire Redmond look good.

No doubt he will now try to cobble something together with a few of his 'mates' to try and save his face. But it won't be anything like what he had planned - or the people of Liverpool had expected.

Perhaps the Oldham Echo can organise a 'Save the Show' campaign?

Thursday, September 11, 2008


WHATEVER has Colin CoverUp done to the Famous Five?

His 5-man Executive Management Team (EMT) has now all but disappeared from the law-breaking city council.

The only two left are CoverUp's mate and chief 'yes' man Stuart Smith, who was last spotted hiding under a desk with his hands over his ears and regeneration boss John Kelly (who has had such an impact on the city that we had quite forgotten him, until reminded by one of our commentators below).

Its the end of an era and no more lashings of Cains ginger beer and ham-fisted sandwiches for the super-directors.

The smiling assassin Hasitall has been booted out of the Municipal Buildings with a half a million pay-off after making the council the worst in the country.

Social Services Executive Director Tony Hunter, last seen looking like death warmed up after years of bullying by the rottweiller McElhinney, has legged it to become chief exec of Cleethorpes or somewhere equally obscure.

The 'Cultural' Exec Director, otherwise known as the Harbarrowboy, has been given a £250,000 pay-off, a season ticket to Tans R Us and a hammock on the Costa del Cock Up.

As one blog contributor has aptly noted, that leaves only Cover Up and nonentities in charge of the lawbreaking city council - the worst in the country.

Difficult to get a quorum for EMT meetings then.

Good to know that the city's biggest employer is in such safe hands, if you will forgive the pun.

Never mind though.

We are sure it won't be too long before Cover Up again appoints a costly firm of headhunters (breaking all the city council's procurement rules) to scour the country looking for 'top talent'.

"We are determined to appoint the best possible leaders," said a grim-faced council spokesman "to take Liverpool forward to a bright new dawn where children play happily in sun-kissed meadows, couples skip hand in hand through the latest shopping mall and literally millions of journalists from the Washington Post visit the city to witness a huge £1.8million thing lumbering through the streets (obviously Lord Redmond's ego, eds)"explained a council spokesman.
With the post of City Solicitor now being advertised for the third time (still no takers) perhaps word has got about?

Maybe we can stand-by for a whole new team of overpaid, lacklustre bureaucrats appointed on £225,000 a year, plus Performance Related Pay, to transform the worst council in the country into a new Jerusalem.
Yeah, right.

Historical note: You will recall that it was the evil Henshaw who first appointed four yes men (and one woman) as £150,00-a-year Executive Directors soon after being named chief executive by The Storeyteller.

The Famous Five then were:
  • Colin CoverUp (Education)
  • Hasitall (Resources)
  • The rottweiller McEhinney (specially brought by Henshaw from Knowsley to mastermind dirty tricks)
  • Annie Shepperd (daft as a brush)
  • Charlie Parker (cockney wide boy).

Friday, September 05, 2008

The cost of failure for Hasitall.......

FAILED City Treasurer Phil Hasitall is being paid off with half a million pounds after making Liverpool the worst council in the country.

Details of the record pay-off are exclusively revealed in today's Daily Post.

It means the smiling assassin Hasitall will be departing next Spring after 10 years with the city council following the Audit Commission offically ranking Liverpool as the worst council in the country for its financial mismanagement.

We wonder how much he might have got if he had done his job properly?

The hated Halsall is known for a few other things:

He is a mate of Chas Cole, promoter of the Summer Pops

He gave more than £3million of council taxpayers money to his mate Chas for the Summer Pops, breaking all council procurement rules

He went on holiday to New York with his mate Chas and his other mate, the rottweiller Dr David McElhinney while signing the fat cheques for Chas

  • He went to the same school in Southport with his mate Chas and Colin Cover Up - talk about the old school tie!
  • His mate Chas gave Hasitall's son Liam a slot for his band 'Abe' as support to Status Quo at the Summer Pops - the band have since sunk without trace
  • The cost of The 08 Place spiralled half a million pounds over budget, after his mate Chas got special treatment for his office inside from Hasitall's other mate, the rottweiller McElhinney

  • His mate Chas got free parking from the city council at a cost of £19,000 - Hasitall authorised this
  • Hasitall allowed The Harbarrowboy to waste millions on Capital of Culture cock-ups and then went cap in hand to the Government begging to be bailed out

  • Hasitall has spent the last three years leaking like crazy against Colin Cover Up and Fireman Bradley after unsurprisingly failing to get Henshaw's job

Hasitall was, of course, a fully signed-up member of the evil cabal with Sir Diddy and the Rottweiller. Their major claim to fame, of course, was their corruption, dishonesty and cowardice.

An avid Daily Torygraph reader, Hasitall distinguished himself at the city council by putting his personal greed above all else.

But he did provide some lighter moments - Hasitall's two most memorable public appearances were:

1) Telling Mick Ord at Radio Merseyside how, thanks to Hasitall and McElhinney, city council staff were now going to get preferential treatment for tickets for the first Paul McCartney gig at Kings Dock - and then being slightly bemused when a firestorm of protest erupted

2) His now legendary TV interview with the saintly Gordon Burns on BBC North West Tonight earlier this year when the £230,000-a-year Hasitall was questioned about the council being the worst in the country for financial stewardship.

(This landmark interview is now being replayed by PR companies all over the North West as a classic example of how not to do a TV interview - Hasitall was rude, arrogant, dishonest and seemingly extremely put out that somone of his seniority and obvious intelligence was being held to account for his record as a senior council officer and why should he even deign to answer silly, stupid and ridiculous questions from a mere TV reporter who clearly didn't understand anything at all about figures and after all what was it to do with him anyway? I'm not fucking accountable to him or the great unwashed in Garston sitting at home watching the telly with their egg and chips on their laps waiting for Eastenders to start, I'm fucking accountable to that other dick-head Bradley and his stupid side-kick Hilton who are as bad as each other and I can pull the wool over their eyes any day of the week, anyway I would rather be on the golf course than sitting in a stupid fucking cupboard on Paradise Street talking to some idiot in a fucking studio in Manchester.)

Sort of thing.

Meanwhile Labour, for entirely understandable reasons, have been concentrating their attack over the council's financial failures soley on the Lib Dims.

In order to reap the obvious benefits, Joe Anderson has sought to extricate Hasitall of all responsibility, while pinning it more firmly on the back of Bradley et al.

Which is fine, but not the whole truth.

Hasitall is just as complicit in taking the city council to the brink of bankruptcy as the incompetent Lib Dims.

And now he has got his reward - half a million pounds of council taxpayer's money.

It is they who will now be picking up the tab for his failures for many more years to come.

While Hasitall lives up to his name.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Gordon steps in to spare Halsall's blushes...

PRIME Minister Gordon Brown has stepped in to spare the blushes of the smiling assassin Hasitall as he fights to save his failing reputation.

Some impish person, with a mischievous sense of humour (who could that possibly be? eds), appended Halsall's signature to the excellent petition currently on the No 10 Downing Street web site, calling for an independent investigation into the city council's finances.

Readers will recall that the Lib Dim city council was branded by the Audit Commission as the worst council in the country for its lack of financial stewardship, ably masterminded for the last nine years by the smiling assassin.

No sooner had Phil Halsall's name appeared on the petition than it was spotted by panic-stricken minions in the City Treasurer's department.

They urgently tracked down the £230,000-a-year (plus Performance Related Pay) smiling assassin on the golf course where he was swinging the lead, (shouldn't he be slinging his hook? eds).

Hasitall went ballistic, seeing the jape as all part of the civil war with Colin CoverUp and a further attempt to discredit him (are any MORE attempts needed? eds).

Hasitall immediately contacted the bald legal eagle Ken Unworthy, a close ally in his fight with Cover Up, to demand immediate action.

Emails were soon winging their way to the hard-pressed web master at No 10, demanding that Downing Street immediately remove Halsall's name from the petition.

There followed lengthy legal exchanges between the worst council in the country and No 10 - including threats of a High Court injunction - all carried out at an unknown cost to the taxpayer.

Halsall, renowned for his Daily Torygraph reading habits, also had the cheek to consult Unison, to intercede on his behalf.

Hasitall even went to see his mate Chas to see if he could help out by offering to throw a fund-raising gig for Gordon.

Finally, Colin Cover Up was reluctantly forced to intervene and write to No 10 vouching for the hated Halsall's bona fides.

(Oh, the ignomy, the ignomy, eds)

Eventually, No 10 relented and agreed to remove Halsall's name from the petition, allowing him to return to the golf course with his reputation, er, intact.

Any suggestion that Gordon is now considering bringing in Hasitall to aid his besieged Chancellor, is, of course, entirely without foundation.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

'It's not unethical' says ethics girl over probe into £75,000 Lib Dem chat for spin doctor!

ETHICS girl Paula Keaveney faces an investigation by the Standards Board after trying to stitch-up a £75,000 job for a Lib Dem spin doctor.

Councillor Keaveney, Lib Dem cabinet member for Ethical Governance, is being reported to the ethical watchdog - for 'unethical behaviour'!

Keaveney wrote to all Lib Dem councillors and her Lib Dem Party colleagues asking them to identify likely candidates for the position of Head of Communications with the worst council in the country - and offering to have a little chat.Nudge, nudge, wink-wink, knoworrameanlike?

Keaveney, a 'lecturer' in Public Relations at Edge Hill University in Ormskirk, also emailed work colleagues in her desperate hunt for 'one of us'.

Keaveney has already earned her nickname as Liverpool's own Ethics Girl by resolutely failing to take any action against Fireman Bradley, the Storeyteller and Colin CoverUp for their repeated wrong-doing.

Suggestions that she has been bribed with a babycham and bag of crisps are simply not true.

Keaveney is however, by complete and utter coincidence, on the selection panel which will eventually be appointing the unlucky spin doctor on £75,000 a year.

So it could prove quite an advantage to have an intimate chat with one of the people doling out the job, if you were a Lib Dem spin doctor desperate to jump ship from Nick Clegg's Cowley Street headquarters as election disaster stares you in the face.

Legendary Liverpool solicitor, 'Sexy Rexy' Makin revealed in his craven Echo column, that Keaveney had written thus to the Lib Dems:

"If anyone wants a general chat about the "challenges" this post might involve, I am more than happy to talk to them – although I can't do a lot more than that as I will be on the panel."

What a pity. Of course we only have Councillor Keaveney's word for it that the conversation, which itself is highly inappropriate, would not stray into other areas of interest to would-be spin meisters.

But it would clearly give any candidate a distinct advantage to have a harmless chat with a member of the appointments panel in advance.

It goes without saying of course that Councillor Keaveney would never dare abuse her position
Or tell the candidate the questions likely to be asked.

Or the answers that would go down well with her Lib Dem colleagues.

Or the elephant traps to avoid when trying to seduce the panel members with spin.


It would just be a general chat about the challenges which might be involved - The Fireman, Storeyteller, CoverUp, worst council the country, Capital of CockUps, lack of legacy, Hilton's civil war with the smiling assassin Hasitall, the rottweiller McElhinney's corrupt LDL, The Standards Board, The Harbarrowboy, Our Lord Redmond, to say nothing of Tony Parrish's blogging friends.

And unethical ethics girls.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

A new hit parade for Liverpool subCulture...

WE are delighted to officially announce that the Liverpool subCulture blog, banned by the Lib Dim city council, has now attracted more than 100,000 readers.
We thank you all.
Our most sincere thanks of course, must go to all those who have made Liverpool subCulture a small, but such a beautifully formed, footnote in the proud history of the blogosphere.
We mean of course, our rich cast of characters:

  • The evil Sir Diddy (first and foremost)
  • The rottweiller McElhinney (still in our sights)
  • The smiling assassin Hasitall (who has undergone several reincarnations, but who has now turned history on its head by conspiring against the current chief executive - my how times do change!)
  • Chas 'show me the money' Cole (still raking in forests of cash from the city)
  • The Storeyteller (still unable to hold his own water)
  • Fireman Bradley (wounded badly, but limping to meet his coup de grace at the Standards Board)
  • Colin CoverUp (seriously unimpressive and comprehensively discredited after going native)
    The Harbarrowboy (more brass neck than gold medallions)
  • Our Lord Redmond (rampant egotism and fake celebrity of a true phoney)
  • Donald Bullshitter (cocking up on a daily basis, but still taking the money)
We know them all so well now.
And so, thankfully, does Liverpool.
And there are a whole host of supporting extras - Mr Bumble, Randy Newman, Sexy Rexy, the craven Echo, Clare McCogloose, etc, etc, who have all added to the fun and games.
But most of all, we wish to thank and congratulate some 'real' Liverpool stars - Tori Blare, Prof Chucklebutty (and his missus) and Pete Price - without whom Liverpool subCulture would never have continued.
Good on you.
We hope that we may also take a little credit for encouraging these great new voices in the Liverpool blogosphere - long may they continue.
Meanwhile the city council continues to protest to Google in an attempt to ban the blog - demonstrating their daily contempt for the city council's taxpayers.
And, of course, their total contempt for truth, justice and democracy.
Which is were it all started...

Thursday, August 07, 2008

The Harbarrowboy's health: Did Mr Bumble shop the Storeyteller?

TRANSLATION: Did the Liverpool Echo's Joe Riley reveal that the source of an exclusive story about the poor health of the Culture Company chief executive, Jason Harbrow (sic) was the former Leader of the city council, Councillor Mike Storey, CBE?

That is the rather convoluted question we ask following mounting (sic, ed) allegations about the conduct of Mr Riley, Councillor Storey and the city council.

Readers will remember that the Storeyteller is well and truly for the high jump by the Standards Board when they eventually blow the cobwebs off their quills, loosen their starched wing-tip collars and finally give their verdict on their interminably long-running, long-awaited, long anticipated investigation into Bradley and Storey.

The Harbarrowboy, who pocketed £250,000 as a reward from the Lib Dim city council after cocking up Mathew Street, is now hell-bent on exacting his revenge on Storey, the Fireman and Colin CoverUp.

The Harbarrowboy has alleged to the Standards Board that, as well as being buillied by Bradley, the Storyteller told the Echo that poor Jase had suffered a heart attack when in charge of the Culture Co.

This was clearly contrary to Rule 37, Paragraph 47, Sub Clause 34, of the city council's Rules Which We Dream Up But Which We Only Ever Follow When It Suits Us, Otherwise We Tend To Quietly Forget About Them Because We Are In Charge You Know, Buster.

In other words, Storey broke all the rules by talking about a council employees health to the world's press. And the craven Echo.

This is what actually happened.

Bradley was riding in the city council Jaguar with the Storeyteller who was having a go at Jase and the Culture Company cock-ups, when Bradley told him told him that Jase had taken a powder and was in hospital with a dodgy ticker .

The Harbarrowboy had gone off work from the Fun Palace to have tests.

Bradley and Storey, thick as thieves in the Jag, then went into a huddle and began plotting what to do with such useful information. This was on Thursday night (28th June, 2007 - pre the Mathew Street debacle)

On Friday morning, on his way to the Executive Board meeting at the Town Hall, the Storeyteller (not untypically, ed) immediately rang Joe Riley to spill all the beans.

The Storeyteller told Riley that he and Warren did not want to be quoted in the Echo (not untypically, ed) but poor old Jase was on sick leave and looked to be on the way out.

Riley, not known in unholy Trinity Mirror as Mr Bumble for no reason, then set about trying to 'stand the story up' for Page One.

Like a true investigative journalist, Riley immediately rang the city council's newscentre for the truth (sic, ed) and told them something along the lines of: 'Warren and Mike have told me that Jase has taken a sicky with stress. Can you give us a quote?'

This was all news to the newscentre staff (not untypically, ed) and there was much huffing and puffing and phoning around by various functionaries. (Randy Newman was uncontactable in the morning for some strange reason.)

Uncle Tom Cobbley and all were involved and it was all hands to the pump as the city council leapt into action (well, stumbled about a bit, ed).

Mr Bumble phoned various council functionairies literally a dozen times, telling all who cared to listen that 'Mike' had told him off the record that poor Jase was on his last legs and could he have an official statement in response from someone who was vaguely in officialdom.

Apparently Mr Bumble, the Echo's longest-serving and most experienced journalist, did not realise that to all and sundry at the Municipal Buildings he was cheerfully and repeatedly breaking the First Rule of Journalism: Thou Shalt Not Reveal Thy Source.

Quite what the journalists union, the NUJ would make of all this is an interesting question.

Even more interestingly, CoverUp himself then woke up, lurched about a bit and then phoned the Echo, begging them not to publish the story because Jason was only just a bit off colour and would be returning to work soon. (Cover Up is not, surprisingly, a qualified doctor, but then he is paid £250,000 a year, plus Performance Related Pay, so he does know the health status of all 19,500 city council employees.)

Thus the story did not appear.

But poor Jase was forced - against a genuine doctor's orders - to return to work the next week to avoid shock horror headlines in the craven Echo.

The Harbarrowboy went bananas when he discovered the Storeyteller's role.

A huge internal investigation was launched into precisely who said what, when, to whom, and why, which involved interrogating anyone found holding a biro in their hands at 8.30 am on the morning in question.

Even the Jag's poor chauffeur was quizzed as a torch from the pound shop was shone in his eyes and Ken Unworthy wound up the rack.

The chauffeur 'didn't hear a sausage about Jase taking a sicky', of course.

Meanwhile the Harbarrow demanded that Cover Up take serious action against Storey and immediately report him to the Standards Board.

And guess what happened then?

Colin CoverUp wrote a formal letter of complaint about Councillor Storey to the Standards Board.

But he never sent it.

He put it carefully in his bottom drawer (shades of the Rottweiller McElhinney) and kept schtum.

And Cover Up never admitted he had never sent the letter to the Standards Board until confronted by the suspicious Harbarrowboy six weeks later when all the fuss had died down.

By which stage, poor old Jase was busily cancelling Mathew Street (in revenge? ed) and planning his lucrative exit.

The smiling assassin Hasitall has been dining out for the last three months on this story, telling anyone who will listen all the intricate and interesting details and highlighting both the actions of the Storeyteller and the complicity of Cover Up.

The Fireman appears to have got off the hook, so far - no doubt the Standards Board will be more interested in his email to Hilton calling for Jason's neck and the Perroni plot in the front room of his home in Wavertree.

Meanwhile Labour's Joe Anderson has well and truly fingered Cover Up for, er, 'covering up' for the Storeyteller and thus sealing his own death warrant.

So what lessons do we learn from this interesting city council saga?

1) Don't trust Storey.

2) Don't trust Bradley.

3) Don't trust Cover Up.

4) Be careful talking 'off the record' to Riley.

5) Don't go on the sick.

6) Always look after the chauffeur.

How the council use Ripa to spy on you....

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